Or, as Ichiro said in response to the first clubhouse chemistry quesiton, “I think you are more of an expert, next question.”

What you get then is this:
* Clubhouse chemistry is an important factor in a team’s success
* Therefore, clubhouse chemistry is an important story to cover
* Therefore, there’s a need to report stories which allege clubhouse factions, threats of violence averted by clubhouse * meetings, etc, even if that means using and protecting blind sources, and itself creates controversy
* When clubhouse chemistry is an ongoing controversy and topic of discussion, further stories following up on it are called for

I think the real analogy is:

* Clubhouse chemistry stories always get a lot of hype, which sells newspapers
* Therefore, clubhouse chemistry stories must be reported
* Therefore, reporters must come up with excuses to continue clubhouse chemistry stories as often as possible

As Dave and Derek and others have emphasized throughout, bad teams lose games and good teams win games. Winning makes it seem that the clubhouse has chemistry and losing makes it seem that the clubhouse does not have chemistry. In baseball history, however, there are numerous examples of players who hated one another and nevertheless played well together. An outfielder throws the ball to the cutoff man he hates as long as he’s in position; there is no opportunity for something like the alleged freezeout of Isiah Thomas at an NBA All-Star Game one year.

If I were putting together a baseball club, I would indeed look for a personality type, and that would the type who understand that the kind of preparation and professionalism Ichiro talks about is what is needed to make a club win. They are innumerable people on this planet who know how to have a good time at work. There are only a few hundred people who know how to play baseball at a major league level (and the WBC showed that they are not all in the major leagues). Winning baseball clubs are not based on the number of good time Charlies but the number of good hitters, pitchers and fielders. If the 2008 Mariners had all gotten along, they’d have lost exactly as many games.

I’m not saying this garbage is newsworthy (it’s not) or that Baker isn’t stirring the pot (he is). It’s just his defense to this kind of sentiment is going to be a more self-aggrandizing version of “I’m just a simple stenographer. People say stuff to me and I write it down.” That’s lazy journalism, but it’s not the same as editorializing.

It’s not really a choice between “Silva’s a moron,” and “Ichiro’s selfish,” as neither op-ed would really be within Baker’s purview. I guarantee if some anonymous source told him “Silva’s a moron,” he’d print it.

Ichiro is not the sort to sit around stuffing his face in the team dining room and competing to see who can break wind most often during the final half of “Happy Gilmore.”

A few more wedgies and clubhouse pranks by Ichiro should take his leadership level off da charts and really boost chemistry!

Doesn’t Ichiro actually do this at every All-Star game, with many swears to boot?

Hopefully this is all behind us and we all unite together like a team should know you know but knowing is only half the battle.

I would also before games deliver long, rambling statements about what despicable human beings today’s opponents were,

I’m going to forward this idea to my cousin to see if this would work ok in High A or Double AA.