Separate post for game, other complaints
Overheard at the ballpark, 10/2, with extended preface:
I was sitting next to this 10-yr old kid tonight, who talked to me about everything, and was pretty quick on the uptake. In fact, I think he might have done a better job as a GM last year than the actual team’s much-more experienced brain trust would have. (“Who did we trade Guillen for?” “What? That was stupid.”) So I answered his questions as best I could through the game, explaining who Kida and the other pitchers were, so on. Then when they started to make preparations for Edgar’s ceremony, bringing out these red carpets, he said —
“If Masao Kida steps on the carpet, we should throw tomatoes at him. Because they won’t stain (briefest of pauses) the carpet.” — Austin
I’m still laughing about this. He was comedy gold for a whole game and then still had it in him to bust that out… man. I’ve tried a couple of times to write that quote up and I can’t quite capture the absolutely perfect rhythm that joke had, and he wasn’t even reaching for it, it was like he’d made this other funny point and then… man.
My big complaint: let Edgar play. If Edgar was game, and he must have been, let him take an inning at third. Before the game, I was hoping secretly that if the game was out of hand they’d let him come in to play the field, and when he came out I was so happy my head almost came apart from smiling so hard. To see Edgar take the field at third… oh, how great was that? And to immediately pull him, to make it sort of an honorary appearance to get another ovation — what? I can’t speak for Edgar, but I felt like I’d been slapped. As if Melvin had said “Hey, Edgar, you’re fine as an attention-getting novelty, but I don’t want to see you actually take a ball out there.”
The team’s down 10-4 in the top of the ninth. They’re barely going to escape losing 100 games this season. If Edgar wanted to play an inning at third in a blowout, why not? If he wasn’t embarassed to be out there, and he obviously wasn’t, should we be embarassed for him?
Even Austin picked up on this.
Austin: What just happened?
Me: They put Edgar in at third and then subbed in Bloomquist for him. You’re going to have a question for me in five seconds, and I’m not going to have a good answer for you.
(so I watch Austin, and I could actually see his brain working… 1,2,3,4 — he starts to speak and his sister (I think) puts her hand over his mouth and tries to wrestle him down, because… well, Austin and I had been making cracks about John Stamos, which is another topic entirely. Austin breaks free at last and says)
Austin: Why would they do that?
Me: I don’t know.
Austin: They should let him play third.
Me: I know.
Austin: This stinks.
I think he’s going to be officially endorsed by the U.S.S. Mariner this off-season, but that’s just a hunch.
So to my minor complaint: look, it’s Edgar’s night. I don’t like Bud Selig, and I didn’t boo him. I’ve been greatly disappointed by Gary Locke as governor, and I bit my tongue. For Edgar’s sake, would it have been that hard not to boo people, out of respect for the occasion?