Merry Christmas

Dave · December 24, 2004 at 7:04 pm · Filed Under Mariners 

Just wanted to take a minute to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Enjoy the holidays with friends and family. Derek, Jason, and I all wish you the best.


40 Responses to “Merry Christmas”

  1. world series on December 24th, 2004 7:06 pm


  2. Lonnie on December 24th, 2004 7:34 pm

    The best of the season to the crew of the USS Mariner!


  3. Econ Guy on December 24th, 2004 9:09 pm

    Merry Christmas!

  4. David J Corcoran on December 24th, 2004 9:14 pm

    Merry Christmas Dave, DMZ, JMB!!!!

  5. chris d on December 24th, 2004 9:14 pm

    From me as well, Happy Holidays! I write in seldomly but I read often and greatly appreciate the time, effort, and expertise of USS Mariner crew. The three of you give so much and although it is just baseball what you do adds a lot to my life by providing delightful entertainment. This hot stove stuff is in some ways more entertaining then the actual baseball season. Anyway I appreciate your generosity.

  6. David J Corcoran on December 24th, 2004 9:16 pm

    “This hot stove stuff is in some ways more entertaining then the actual baseball season.”

    In my mind, it IS more entertaining than the actual game.

  7. Bruce on December 24th, 2004 9:36 pm

    Merry Christmas, USS Mariner crew and passengers. And thanks to the Mariners for putting a Beltre in my stocking.

  8. david on December 24th, 2004 10:04 pm

    happy hannukah too! though that ended a week ago.

  9. David J Corcoran on December 24th, 2004 11:23 pm

    ‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the blogosphere
    not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
    The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
    in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

  10. David J Corcoran on December 24th, 2004 11:24 pm

    “Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

  11. Jim Thomsen on December 24th, 2004 11:39 pm

    Merry Christmas to everyone here … I usually pretty much ignore Christmas, but I took my mom took a church service and watched “It’s A Wonderful Life” with her … so now I’m all moist and runny and sentimental. (Makes me cringe at the time about 12 years ago when I called up The Fabulous Sports Babe on KJR and told her on the air that I had restructured my religious beliefs around Randy Johnson. “I used to be a Unitarian,” I said, “but now I’m a Big Unitarian.”)

    Have a happy … and (if possible), a diamond-geek-free day. Christmas is for families. Let”s spend this one with ours. Adrian Beltre and Richie Sexson and Bill Bavasi will still be there for us to slap around on the 26th.

  12. Jeremy on December 25th, 2004 12:19 am

    Merry Christmas, may everyone take some time to relax from the grind of daily life and remember those that we care about.

  13. Nick on December 25th, 2004 1:30 am

    Have a jolly good time everyone. (I just found out my girlfriend pre-ordered Baseball Prospectus 2005 for me!!)

  14. CaB on December 25th, 2004 1:48 am

    In the hustle and bustle of the season, let’s remember what we are celebrating, and give honor to the one whom gave us life.

  15. moira on December 25th, 2004 2:15 am

    Happy Holidays you guys, thanks for providing us with a good time. I hope you all have a relatively catastrophe-free Christmas. And also, I think “…now I’m a Big Unitarian” might be the most impressive/hilarious religious declaration of all time, and I wish I had heard Jim actually say it on the air. Jason have fun with your new baby!!! First Christmases are RAD!

  16. Marty Lighthizer on December 25th, 2004 5:35 am

    #11 — Jim, restructuring your belief system around Randy Johnson got me thinking about the religious orientation and philosophical leanings of this readership. Sorry for the OT stuff, but Merry Christmas to all of you from Japan!

    Utilitarianists –
    Advocate the regular use of nominally skilled players in key positions. Branch sects include the Spieziostranites and the Willies.

    Latter-day Sexsons –
    Initially agnostic or atheistic, these adherents experience revelatory conversion when faced with mounting HR/RBI totals. (Dare I dream?)

    BoMelvinites –
    Not sure whether this is a religion, philosophy, or an insignificant cult. Adherents seem to have escaped wordly involvement and gone into the desert.

    JimStreet Witnesses –
    A very high-profile religious body who consider themselves to the present-day representatives of Bud Selig. Their teaching centers on the early establishment of the MLB’s new world on earth and the second coming of Abner Doubleday.

    Charismatics –
    Certainly not to be found in the Mariners’ front office.

    Winnonites –
    A sect that rejects infant centerfielders.

    Ben Davis Adventists –
    Very small congregation; often attend JimStreet Witnesses’ services.

    Boonasticists –
    These adherents advocate a life of extreme austerity (especially in regard to RBI totals) and practice of ascetic displines of slumping, striking out and saying “I stink the place up” every third day.

    Zen Ichiro –
    A religion unto itself.

    Quakers –
    A temporary religion, usually observed by the entire Mariner team when facing Pedro Martinez, Tim Hudson, Roger Clemens, or for that matter any pitcher starting for the first or second time in his career.

    Nihilists –
    These account for roughly 85% of the readership of U.S.S. Mariner.

  17. Pete on December 25th, 2004 8:53 am

    “…enjoy hot stove more than the actual game…”

    You’re really weird….but Merry Christmas!

  18. David J Corcoran on December 25th, 2004 9:02 am

    Woot! I got Opening Day Tickets!!!

  19. Lou Able on December 25th, 2004 9:09 am

    Merry Christmas to all of you from Sun City ,AZ. This Blog is the first thing I read every morning here in the desert and then I get to the unimportant news.

  20. jody on December 25th, 2004 9:56 am

    Yes, Merry Christmas Dave you guys run the best board I have ever seen even if it is a little pragmatic……

  21. jody on December 25th, 2004 10:00 am

    16, that just hits waaay too close to the bone.

  22. JMB on December 25th, 2004 10:38 am

    Hey moira — you have fun with your new one too! 🙂 I see you were up at 2am… Luke’s Christmas present to us was sleeping from 10 last night until 5 this morning.


  23. Mike on December 25th, 2004 12:27 pm

    Merry Christmas:
    well how about the whole team

  24. big chef Terry on December 25th, 2004 4:17 pm

    Peace to all…this blog is an oasis amidst a lot of strife that is getting very close to home.

  25. Uncle Kevin Corcoran on December 25th, 2004 4:51 pm

    You folks are them folks that David Corcoran has been gushin’ over? Ha! Back in the day I could do all this stuff!

    Merry Xmas.

  26. David J Corcoran on December 25th, 2004 4:52 pm

    Sorry about that, guys… Uncle Kevin has had a few too many beers.

  27. Jim Thomsen on December 25th, 2004 7:42 pm

    #16 — Marty, that’s quality comedy. Don’t forget the other sects:

    — Pythagorean Methodists
    — Southern Kitsap Bloomquists (they’re against sex while standing up AND attempting to play shortstop)
    — He-Brewers (who reverentially remember when Milwaukee players were real men like Gorman Thomas and Pete Vukovich)
    — Batter-day Saints
    — The Foursquarebases Church
    — Rev. Bret Myung Boone’s Unification Church (or “Moon-shotties”)
    — Patlennonites (named after the patron saint of Lost First-Round Draft Picks)
    — Hare Krivdas (dedicated to the worship of pitching mediocrity)
    — Bryantology (based on the teachings of L. Bryan Price)

    Baseball Annie should have looked harder for religious meaning in the American pastime ….

  28. fiction on December 25th, 2004 9:45 pm

    Dave Derek Jason..Was getting daily fix (after all in the house quiet) by reading last years posts. Very interesting. DMZ trying to set Dave up but the interesting post was the proposed trade with KC.
    The proposal was Winn,Jose Lopez, Rett Johnson for a guy named Beltran.It was the feeling he may extend contract 5 years at 12 million per year. That would have been great for M’s. Great call back then even better considering today’s market. Good call.

  29. Jeff in Fremont on December 26th, 2004 2:16 am

    I believe in the Church of Baseball. I’ve tried all the major religions, and most of the minor ones. I’ve worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma, Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms, and Isadora Duncan. I know things. For instance, there are 108 beads in a Catholic rosary and there are 108 stitches in a baseball. When I heard that, I gave Jesus a chance. But it just didn’t work out between us. The Lord laid too much guilt on me. I prefer metaphysics to theology. You see, there’s no guilt in baseball, and it’s never boring… which makes it like sex. There’s never been a ballplayer slept with me who didn’t have the best year of his career. Making love is like hitting a baseball: you just gotta relax and concentrate. Besides, I’d never sleep with a player hitting under .250… not unless he had a lot of RBIs and was a great glove man up the middle. You see, there’s a certain amount of life wisdom I give these boys. I can expand their minds. Sometimes when I’ve got a ballplayer alone, I’ll just read Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman to him, and the guys are so sweet, they always stay and listen. ‘Course, a guy’ll listen to anything if he thinks it’s foreplay. I make them feel confident, and they make me feel safe, and pretty. ‘Course, what I give them lasts a lifetime; what they give me lasts 142 games. Sometimes it seems like a bad trade. But bad trades are part of baseball — now who can forget Frank Robinson for Milt Pappas, for God’s sake? It’s a long season and you gotta trust. I’ve tried ’em all, I really have, and the only church that truly feeds the soul, day in, day out, is the Church of Baseball.

    – Annie Savoy in “Bull Durham”

  30. Marty Lighthizer on December 26th, 2004 4:24 am

    Jim, some very good additions. You obviously know your obscure religions better than I do. (Do we really need or want any more Bryantologists?) Still, I was able to dig up the following:

    Very difficult for the non-metaphysically-minded to grasp, since it deals not with the nature of the universe or philosophical problems, but rather an attitude to existence held by the individual; namely, Life is short and so am I.

    An ancient art associated with magic, its practioners believe they can discover the secret of turning base flaxseed oil into Barry Bonds clones. Also called Balcoites.

    These practioners are fond of using the catch-all phrase “flu-like symptoms” to avoid playing. Not related to the Self-Flagellationists (see Kevin Brown, Julian Tavarez, etc.) or the Whirling Barstools (see David Wells).

    Our Lady of the Corked Bat
    A large parish presided over by Father Sammy Sosa.

    QuesTec’s Witnesses
    This movement believes every pitch can be upheld – strike or ball – by reference to the supreme technologically derived scriptures.

    Borasean Relativism
    The doctrine that truth, morality and fat, multi-year contracts are relative to market situations and are not absolute.

    This doctrine of undemonstrative moral integrity and contemplative devotion has a small number of adherents, but has come under severe persecution from George Steinbrenner, John Kruk, Milton Bradley, Jose Guillen and a large number of Oakland A’s fans, among others.

    Re: #29, That Annie Savoy passage about the Church of Baseball was very nice, but (despite my sarcastic religious remarks) I most agree with reader #14 above – let’s properly thank the one who gave us life AND baseball (and, no, I don’t mean Abner Doubleday…)

  31. David J Corcoran on December 26th, 2004 8:54 am

    Ugueto is a Royal!

  32. David J Corcoran on December 26th, 2004 9:07 am

    To honor that:

    Uguetoism- A small cult of really speedy guys who make it even though they can’t effectively do anything else. See Also: Nook Loganism

  33. David J Corcoran on December 26th, 2004 9:09 am

    From the KC Star
    “Early Saturday, Lima, who also considered San Diego and Seattle, settled on Kansas City.”

    It could have been Lima Time in Seattle, but thank god, it wasn’t.

  34. Jim Thomsen on December 26th, 2004 3:09 pm

    The key with Lima is get his first five good starts out of him, then send him along on his merry way. Of course, we don’t know yet if Bill Bavasi would be that smart.

  35. Jim Thomsen on December 26th, 2004 3:11 pm

    #29 — Jeff, I’m scared by the possibility that you recited that quote verbatim from memory. Either that, or really, really impressed.

    The only one I can come up with is: “Hey, Annie, what’s all this molecule stuff?”

    Oh, and “What do you mean, WILLIAM BLAKE??!!??”

  36. Jim Thomsen on December 26th, 2004 3:23 pm

    Okay, Marty … as a pastor friend of mine says, “The key to knowing when to end the sermon is by paying attention to how many people in the congregation are coughing.” And I think we’re starting to stick in everybody’s throats.

    Time to adjourn for creamed corn, Bundt cake and Jell-O with grated carrots in the fellowship hall ….

    My OTTOMH-PECOTA* line for Luis Ugueto: .174 average, 76 ABs, 3 extra-base hits, .208 OBP, VORP of -39.3.

    * Off The Top Of My Head

  37. Jeremy on December 26th, 2004 6:12 pm

    My comment was removed, I see.

    Oh well, I can see why it was removed. I’ll try to stay clean here from now on.

    Oh, and I’m glad that Jose Lima didn’t sign with the M’s. See, that’s called staying on topic.

  38. sorrycharliebrown on December 26th, 2004 7:41 pm

    These comments reinforce perhaps comments are not needed. So far of point.

    Thanks for the Chirstmas Cheer guys. Right back at you. Your efferts are appreciated….Cheers

  39. Noel on December 26th, 2004 10:35 pm

    I’m sure the M’s wanted Lima, though. Big-game temperament, postseason experience, veteran leadership, grit and determination, over 30 years old, etc. etc. All he’s missing is that he’s not from the Pacific Northwest, as far as I know.

    But unfortunately we couldn’t swing a deal, so his 5.00 career ERA will grace another ballpark. 🙂

  40. msb on December 27th, 2004 2:08 pm

    33,39– so, has anyone seen anywhere (aside from that KC Star comment that Lima ‘considered the Seattle Mariners and San Diego Padres) anything that indicates that either team was thinking of Lima beyond being part of the pool of portentially cheap pitchers out there?