Who are these people?

Dave · December 28, 2004 at 10:13 pm · Filed Under Off-topic ranting 

All the really long posts I’ve been working on aren’t ready yet, and I have nothing insightful to add but don’t want to feel like I’m neglecting the blog, so I’m going to take a cue from Derek and post something completely irrelevant to the Mariners.

Regifting Etiquette

Julia Cousineau of Tacoma created a system “more complex than an astrological chart” to avoid this most egregious of regifting faux pas.

Using a spreadsheet, she logged gifts she received by noting who gave it to her, for what occasion — and who else might enjoy getting it.

Seriously, who are these people? Ms. Cousineau gets so many gifts that she needs a spreadsheet to keep track of who gave her what? Apparently, I need new friends.

Cousineau, who works as an auditor at a leasing company, said none of her friends have caught on.

If the goal is to make sure your friends don’t catch on, then you may not want to give attributable quotes to the largest daily newspaper in the city. Just a thought.

Check the gift for telltale signs of regifting. Is there an inscription on the flyleaf of a book? Your wedding date engraved on the bottom of a vase? A long-past expiration date on a box of treats?

Seriously, is anyone out there really giving friends a “box of treats with a long-past expiration date”? Is this something we really need to warn people not to do? And hey, while your at it, stop offering people sour milk when they come over for breakfast…

Regifting, by the way, gets Dave’s Official Endorsement.


26 Responses to “Who are these people?”

  1. Jim Thomsen on December 28th, 2004 10:24 pm

    I wonder how re-gifting etiquette applies to Rule 5 draftees that don’t work out?

    Also: Could the Mariners be considered to have re-gifted Greg Colbrunn to the Diamondbacks?

  2. Jim Thomsen on December 28th, 2004 10:26 pm

    And Dave Hansen to the Padres?

  3. Jeremy on December 28th, 2004 10:26 pm

    Frank: A little housewarming gift.
    Mitch: I actually gave this to you for your wedding.
    Frank: This model?
    Mitch: That exact one.

    “Old School”, great movie.

  4. Ryan Carson on December 28th, 2004 11:08 pm

    Seriously, my fiancee’s grandmother gives food items past or close to their expiration dates. Highlights from this year include: box of biscotti expired Aug 2003; dried apricots expired December 20th, ’04; cajun style seafood marinade with no discernable expiration date; and a can of salted almonds (actually those were good).

  5. Jeff in Fremont on December 29th, 2004 12:25 am

    Man, suburbanites are f’d up.

    This is why all of my gifts are purchased at the liquor store.

  6. Matt Williams on December 29th, 2004 12:31 am

    Jeff because you want to be my friend. I gave the GF a very good bottle of scotch. She gave me cooking implements. I think I spent more money.

    And I still made her an incredible roast two days ago.


  7. Noel on December 29th, 2004 12:33 am

    If only the Red Sox would’ve regifted Varitek and Lowe to us… heck, we’d have been delighted to send Slocumb back.

  8. zzyzx on December 29th, 2004 5:25 am

    Ah the benefits of being Jewish. Not only do you get to grumble when people post about the true meaning of Christmas, but you don’t have to worry about regifting issues!

  9. David J Corcoran on December 29th, 2004 9:11 am

    Reminds me of Seinfeld.

  10. Matt Staples on December 29th, 2004 9:53 am

    I managed to laugh so hard I almost spit out my drink at the “[i]f the goal is to make sure your friends don’t catch on, then you may not want to give attributable quotes to the largest daily newspaper in the city” line.

    It’s pretty rare someone can type LOL on here and mean it … hilarious.

  11. hans on December 29th, 2004 10:32 am

    Every year my aunt from Lisle, Illinois (a suburb of Chicago) sends a box of gifts to my family to open at Christmas. My aunt is an avid garage sale shopper, and she finds the darndest things to fill up the box with. We’re talking soap on a rope, cans with three flavors of popcorn, fishing lures, vials of hideously scented cologne and perfume, little cutesy stuffed animals… I hope you get the picture.

    About 10 years ago, she included in her box a brass piece that none of us could identify, so we dubbed it “the beacon”. It consists of a strip of brass twisted around to look kind of like a treble clef mark, but it wraps around itself, as if it had been wrapped around a cylinder about 4 inches diameter. This strip of brass holds a disc with a candle holder in it. It also has a brass chain attached to the apex of the twisted strip–which makes it look like it should be a candle holder that is designed to hang in a window–except that there is no way to get it to actually hang straight. We really had a good laugh trying to figure out what in the hell this was.

    I think it was originally given to my mom, but the following Christmas when we all gathered again to open gifts, my uncle from Puyallup opened his gift, and lo and behold, it was the beacon. Since then the beacon has made its rounds to every family member that comes for our Christmas gathering. This is particularly fun with spouses who are there for just the first or second time. They receive the beacon and try and figure out just what the hell it is, and how they are supposed to respond.

    Regifting has become a highlight of my Christmas celebration.

  12. DMZ on December 29th, 2004 10:42 am

    Mr. Corcoran appeals to Jason for comment deletion… is this how it works? I’m the vindictive enforcer, and Jason’s the good sprite of mercy? What’s Dave, the patron author of mirth and minor leaguers?

  13. DMZ on December 29th, 2004 10:43 am

    David Corcoran writes:

    Every year, my grandfather sends everyone in the family a box of Esther Price chocolates. My uncle, not wanting these, gives them to me for Christmas (he claims they aren’t regifts, but it is only too obvious). I then repackage them and give them to my girlfriend.

    I have a vision…. she is… yes… she’s throwing something… at… yes, she’s throwing something at you, it’s… it’s many things… as if a box of chocolates opened in mid-flight and — that’s all I forsee.

  14. David J Corcoran on December 29th, 2004 11:02 am

    Well, DMZ, I figgered since JMB started the thread, he can delete. But, DMZ, if you would be so kind as to delete comments 11, 12, 14, and 15, I would be forever obliged.

  15. DMZ on December 29th, 2004 11:08 am

    I figgered since JMB started the thread, he can delete

    It’s Dave’s post, unless I’m greatly mistaken.

    But, DMZ, if you would be so kind as to delete comments 11, 12, 14, and 15, I would be forever obliged.

    I don’t know, there’s nothing about this in our comment guidelines. Should we take requests? How do I know that the David J Corcoran requesting the deletion is the one that wrote it? There are many issues we have to consider here.

  16. David J Corcoran on December 29th, 2004 11:11 am

    You have my IP, and my email address, moderator. I did make the mistake of seeing that JMB started this thread when it was actually Dave. I’ll buy you a beer (or a case of beer, your choice) if our paths ever cross. Just delete this comment.

  17. David J Corcoran on December 29th, 2004 11:12 am

    by this, I mean 11, 12, 14, 15, 16, 17, and 18, and 19

  18. Shoeless Jose on December 29th, 2004 12:05 pm

    A case of beer is a pretty good starting offer for negotiations. However, I think Dave should hold out for a longer term deal. Perhaps a case a year for 3 years, with an option for a fourth. I don’t have any access to numbers for his VORP etc as a moderator, but he has a proven track record and is not a high injury risk. Which apparently cannot be said about Corcoran, if his girlfriend reads these comments.

  19. Jim Thomsen on December 29th, 2004 12:06 pm

    Derek … I recommend you re-gift Mr. Corcoran’s posts back to him … on the condition that he join his local Obsessive Site Refreshers Anonymous chapter. (Emphasis, for his benefit, on the “anonymous” part.)

  20. David J Corcoran on December 29th, 2004 12:08 pm

    OK, fortunately my girlfriend is in a car to Riggins today, so she won’t have computer access for about 24 hours.

    DMZ, I will give you a 2 cases of high quality beer for 6 years with a mutual option for the 7th. I will join Obsessive Site Reloaders Anonymous. In addition, I will send such cases of beer in an airconditioned box directly to your home.

  21. David J Corcoran on December 29th, 2004 12:09 pm

    In exchange, you delete every comment even vaguely relating to this subject.

  22. Evan on December 29th, 2004 12:13 pm

    My GF and are are never together at Christmas; she travels to visit her family, and I travel to visit mine. So, we exchange gifts on New Year’s Eve (which also neatly solves the problem of what to do on New Year’s Eve).

    This year, my mother gave me a neat little book about punctuation I think my GF would really enjoy. So, I read it on the flight back, and have now wrapped it to give it to her. Instant regifting.

  23. David J Corcoran on December 29th, 2004 12:16 pm

    Hey, my GF may not even read this blog. I know she knows I really like it and comment on it a lot, and she seems like the type that would read it, but who knows. DMZ, Dave or JMB will know, because I am sure she is the only person left still using Netscape 3.0.

  24. David J Corcoran on December 29th, 2004 12:25 pm

    OK, DMZ, I am off to the ski hill. I will be back at 3:00 your time, and if these comments ain’t deleted, my people are gonna get in touch with your people. 😉

  25. DMZ on December 29th, 2004 12:26 pm

    Oh, she reads the blog, Mr. Corcoran. The only remaining question is “how frequently?” with a possible follow-up of “how attentive is she?”.

  26. David J Corcoran on December 29th, 2004 3:37 pm

    Thanks a lot, DMZ. But she is in Riggins now, and not anywhere where she’ll have internet access. When she gets back tomorrow, we are meeting at the ski hill, so you have about 25 hours.