Public humiliation: priceless

Jeff · May 4, 2005 at 2:52 pm · Filed Under Mariners 

The River City Rascals aren’t selling out: they’re buying in. Or rather, they hope you are buying in.

That’s right, in this eBay auction, you can purchase a one-day contract to play independent league baseball. At this writing, it’ll cost you just over two grand to bat and play right field for a small hunk of game.

What does this guarantee you, save a lighter wallet, an oh-fer and an E-9 or two? The enmity of your teammates, most probably, and possibly some chin music from a bitter indy league pitcher. Remember, Bobby Madritsch came from the independents — imagine his reaction to “the guy who bought his way in.”

My lawyer buddy told me he wants to do something like this. With visions of a Mads clone dancing in my head, I told him, “no you don’t. That is, unless you’re a fine plaintiff’s attorney and they don’t make you sign a waiver.”


5 Responses to “Public humiliation: priceless”

  1. Russ on May 4th, 2005 3:11 pm

    Anyone who really wants to do this has never stepped into a batter’s box with a pitcher who can toss more than the speed limit.

    Those kid’s are eating Top Ramin and spitting donated sunflower seeds. They are going to have a blast with some big roller smarty pants. Those guys can toss a slider up there that’ll make most guys wet themselves, let alone a fastball with some movement or how about a well tossed curve that looks like it’s going over your head but comes down for to fill your ear?

    I just hope they televise this game.

  2. MarinerDan on May 4th, 2005 3:19 pm

    Keep in mind gentlemen that the proceeds go to charity:

    “Proceeds from this auction benefit River City Rascals Charities.”

    I don’t think it is as bad as you are making it out to be. Then again, you don’t see me ponying up to the bid.

  3. Pilots fan on May 4th, 2005 3:24 pm

    FYI — off topic, will make it short: Pokey to the 60-day DL, Hansen up, Choo down.

  4. Aaron on May 4th, 2005 4:20 pm

    It’s not the Bobby Madritsches of the world I’d be most scared of, it’s the John Rockers – big leage velocity, but has no idea where the ball is going. Well, I don’t know if Rocker himself has any velocity left, but you get the idea.

  5. Baltimore M's Fan on May 4th, 2005 4:23 pm

    Break out the brooms California Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim