Game 45, Mariners at Orioles

Jeff · May 25, 2005 at 3:47 pm · Filed Under Mariners 

For tonight’s game thread, I would like to call your attention to awamori, the delicious distilled rice liquor from Okinawa.

Like a strong, smooth, sake, the libation is first-rate. Occasionally, though, they change it up a little. As any reasonable person might expect, this involves putting a poisonous habu snake inside the bottle, making habu awamori.

It’s like the joyous combination in a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup, with booze and venom in place of chocolate and crushed goober peas. Hey, you got a deadly viper in my alcohol! Hey, you got spirits all over my poisonous, fanged friend!

As a habitual liquor enthusiast, you accept the risk that alcohol may slowly kill you. It’s kind of the price of admission. A venomous viper turning up in your libation of choice — bearing fearsome fangs and a more direct form of poison — is a bit of a shock to the system.

[The effect is even more pronounced if, when drinking with a pal, you switch a snake-free bottle with a snake-full bottle while he or she visits the restroom. Surprise!]

Similarly, we expected bad pitching could wreak havoc with the Mariners’ season. So far, it has. But the hitting hasn’t been any kind of tonic, either. Well, maybe an illness-inducing one. Two great tastes that taste brutal together. Hey, you got Aaron Sele in my rotation! Hey, you got Wilson Valdez in my lineup!

For those keeping score at home: yes, I am comparing the Mariners’ recent pitching and offensive performance to a mind-numbing, tissue-destroying elixir. Lately, it seems appropriate.

As for the snake liquor, I have an uncle who enjoys all distilled beverages, the barley pop and other brain cell-murdering delights. Have you tried that habu awamori? I asked him one night. Yes, he replied. How is it? I followed up.

I’ll never try it again, he said.

There is a lesson in there that I will try to distill while watching Jamie Moyer take on Rodrigo Lopez. 4:05 p.m. TV: FSN. Radio: KOMO.


105 Responses to “Game 45, Mariners at Orioles”

  1. aron on May 25th, 2005 8:15 pm

    #97 Oh I know. It just made me giggle and I couldn’t resist 🙂

  2. Colm on May 25th, 2005 11:51 pm

    Very late thought, re 79.

    What might be the worst that could happen? Thornton get injured playing left field? That’d be great. The FO could put him on the 60 day DL with a strained pinky or something, and open up a roster spot for Sherrill or Campillo.

  3. mln on May 26th, 2005 12:56 am

    Well…another day, another Mariners loss. Whatever.

  4. IggyReilly on May 26th, 2005 9:19 am

    Oakland and Seattle should hold a backup player showdown – Oakland used two replacement hitters in yesterday’s game hitting 0.09’ish.

  5. John in NV on May 26th, 2005 9:54 am

    Note to Valdez: stop thinking that you’ve earned any respect from ANY umpire and swing at anything close. You can’t think that posing, glaring, pausing, fidgeting or complaining are going to help you. Whoever is behind the plate tonight is going to give you even LESS respect after last night’s performance. Raffy has earned it; you’re not getting any Viagra offers, buddy. Note to GroVasi: get an option for your bench — ANY fat, small, tall body who can get the ball into the OF and crawl to first base.