All-Star Game!

DMZ · July 12, 2005 at 4:15 pm · Filed Under Game Threads 

Ichiro vs. punks.

Sigh. Remember when we had a whole ton of players in the game? Good times.


98 Responses to “All-Star Game!”

  1. LB on July 12th, 2005 7:49 pm

    “What did it feel like to be booed, Kenny?”

    Jeez, Fox is the worst tabloid network out there.

  2. Jim Osmer on July 12th, 2005 7:53 pm

    I expect an unconvincing apology from GM (a la Kenny Rogers) for implied Japan bashing in their ads very soon.

  3. DMZ on July 12th, 2005 7:54 pm

    What an awful, boring game this is.

  4. TaeBo Jackson on July 12th, 2005 7:55 pm

    But it counts!

  5. DMZ on July 12th, 2005 7:59 pm

    My pre-game pick for MVP was Ichiro.
    Jonah’s was Miguel Cabrera.

    We were both wrong, but were unable to care.

  6. DMZ on July 12th, 2005 8:05 pm

    This has been bugging me since last week, but I finally figured it out. Bartolo Colon looks like Andre The Giant circa ‘The Princess Bride’. Dead ringer, I swear.

    I said the same thing to Jonah during the introductions. I’m glad I’m not the only one who sees it.

  7. strong silence on July 12th, 2005 8:26 pm

    Kenny Rogers looks like Henry Rollins.

    Game over.

    7-5 AL

  8. strong silence on July 12th, 2005 8:27 pm

    3-Way Co-MVP? Tejada, Teixera, and Ichiro

  9. David J Corcoran on July 12th, 2005 8:27 pm

    Who should be MVP? Ichiro drove in the most runs the earliest. I’d say he’s as good a choice as any…

    Maybe Tejada, or you could make an argument for Rivera. Buerhle could be an outside candidate.

  10. JMB on July 12th, 2005 8:28 pm

    Wow, I can’t remember the last time I didn’t see a single pitch of the All-Star game. I was probably eight.


  11. David J Corcoran on July 12th, 2005 8:29 pm

    Was that Morgan Ensberg’s first career appearance at 1st?

  12. strong silence on July 12th, 2005 8:30 pm

    Selig just ruined it!

  13. strong silence on July 12th, 2005 8:32 pm

    Just by appearing Selig, Selig ruins any event. His appearance at Edgar’s retirement game last season made me want to run.

  14. David J Corcoran on July 12th, 2005 8:32 pm

    What does Tejada need a new Corvette for? I could’ve used it a lot more than him.

  15. matthew on July 12th, 2005 8:40 pm

    I’d like to thank the fans… and the fans for voting me in. And the fans. And I’d like to thank the fans… and the fans… and the fans…

  16. Knuckles on July 12th, 2005 8:52 pm

    Dude. I’ve been referring to Bartolo Colon as ‘Fezzik’ since the 2001 playoffs. I’ve had to include pictorial references so that people got the joke.

  17. Paul Molitor Cocktail on July 12th, 2005 8:53 pm

    New York Ninnie thinks the Ms still have a shot at the playoffs.

  18. Kulich on July 12th, 2005 8:54 pm

    Like Tejada needs a Corvette… he has some kind of SUV and a custom Lexus SC. Pretty ridiculous.

  19. Joel on July 12th, 2005 9:02 pm

    …So I’m watching The Three Stooges version of the All-Star Post Game Show on Q13 with Dan Devone, Dave “Softy” Maller, and (laugh) “New York” Vinnie; and I’m wondering…what the hell am I doing!!

  20. jc on July 12th, 2005 9:20 pm

    NY Vinnie a true NY slob!!!!!Evwe qonder why New Yorkers have bad reps?Just lokk at this guy i need to say no more…

  21. Christian on July 12th, 2005 9:20 pm

    Does Vinnie have different shoes on?

  22. John in L.A. on July 12th, 2005 9:27 pm

    Why does the AP story start like this:

    “Miguel Tejada, Mark Teixeira and their American League teammates gave a new-look All-Star Game the same old result. ”

    With this lead-in…

    “Led by MVP Miguel Tejada’s solo shot and Mark Teixeira’s two-run blast, the AL earns home field for the World Series with a 7-5 decision in the 76th All-Star Game”

    And Ichiro’s first mention is in the 22nd paragraph?

  23. Dr. Jim on July 12th, 2005 9:28 pm

    I don’t know, but from the swelling in his right ankle, he’s either injured it, or has developed edema, which could be the sign of a serious health issue.

  24. Christian on July 12th, 2005 9:38 pm

    Also, what two players didn’t make it into the game?

  25. Jonah Keri on July 12th, 2005 9:54 pm

    Derek had unlimited Pagliacci’s Pizza, ice cream and beer, and was at the top of his game in cracking on the players, the announcers, and everything else. And I STILL left his place after the 6th.

    That’s how damn boring this game was. “This Time It Blows.”

  26. TaeBo Jackson on July 12th, 2005 10:32 pm
  27. lauren, token chick on July 12th, 2005 10:56 pm

    Oh my god. How satisfying was that? I never was very interested in Wikipedia, but now I just got to fix a bunch of spelling and grammar errors in the Seattle Mariners entry. Sweet.

  28. Joey on July 12th, 2005 11:02 pm

    The All-Star game is a fun thing, simple as that.

  29. Jeremy on July 12th, 2005 11:06 pm

    A bunch of us (I have no clue who) kept updating the Bloomquist entry until it was pretty hilarious, but then I got some message saying “YOU ARE COMMITTING INTERNET VANDALISM, STOP NOW.”

    Chris Snelling could use some better info.

  30. lauren, token chick on July 12th, 2005 11:24 pm
  31. eponymous coward on July 12th, 2005 11:41 pm

    Yeah, “Piece of shit player who should be murdered and dumped into the Sound.” (which is what the entry reads right now) is SO classy.

  32. Evan on July 13th, 2005 12:25 am

    The old versions of Willie’s page are pretty appalling.

    But funny.

  33. aaron c. on July 13th, 2005 12:25 am


    Steve Earle? Chevy? Wah?!?! Say it ain’t so.

  34. Typical Idiot Fan on July 13th, 2005 12:42 am

    Jesus, those Wikipedia entries are bordering upon sociopathically mean. I mean, shit, even if you don’t like Willie Bloomquist, claiming he’ll be caught stealing 133 times when stealing bases seems to be his best use is just going completely bonzo.

    Some people may be getting laughs out of that, but I just shake my head and sigh. Just cruel. Kick a kitten or something; it’s more humane.

  35. Typical Idiot Fan on July 13th, 2005 12:47 am

    Ichiro post game comments:

    “You don’t want to come to the All-Star Game and walk,” Ichiro said. “On that 3-0 pitch, I was going to swing at it if it was above my toes. You just want to come here and hit.”

    Ichiro’s full of it. He’d have swung if it was below his toes too (and probably would have hit it).

    He moved to right field in the ninth inning.

    “I had not played center field in a while,” Ichiro said. “You are out there playing the game in different angles so it’s really fun to be out there. … If [the Mariners] want me there I will do it.”

    Methinks Ichiro is trying to tell us something.

    I’m not against it. I’d like to see him play CF. Maybe let someone else move over there for a while to play right. It can’t hurt anything to let him play center one or two games in a while. Sure, he’s a powerful tool in right field, but he could be just as filthy in center, I imagine.

  36. IceX on July 13th, 2005 1:08 am

    Reed is also one of the best defensive CFs according to our beloved metrics. And he’s still developing.

    There is now no reason to put Ichiro in center unless you’re putting Vlad in Right.

    And as far as I know, there are no Vlads on the horizon.

  37. TaeBo Jackson on July 13th, 2005 2:47 am
  38. tvwxman on July 13th, 2005 4:05 am

    Wow, how things change in such a short span.

    Yeah, I remember when the M’s had a ton of players represented in the All-Star game.

    But I also remember begging my mom to stay up an extra hour or two, in hopes that Floyd Bannister, Mike Young or Mark Langston may get in to pitch a meaningless 7th inning; or that Alvin Davis, Phil Bradley or Jim Presley would get to pinch-hit in the 8th. There was that banner year in 1987 when the M’s actually got 2(!!!) all-stars (Langston and Harold Reynolds).

    So yeah, the M’s had one all-star this year. They probably should have had 2, but that’s neither here nor there. Still, they’re in much, much better shape than where they were back in the day. Teams don’t go from 99 losses to 95 wins and multiple all-stars in one year.

  39. Jeremy on July 13th, 2005 5:46 am

    I guess the Wiki article turned out to be kind of mean, but it was funny how it was originally a short blurb about Bloomquist and turned into that from people adding one or two phrases at a time.

    There’s a real article about Bloomquist up now. I learned all about Willie from it.

  40. Paul Molitor Cocktail on July 13th, 2005 6:29 am

    Unfortunately, some yukyuk at frontiernet keeps screwing with the Bloomquist article.

  41. Russ Queen on July 13th, 2005 8:19 am

    #83, yep, his great song “The Revolution Starts Now” co-opted and wildly missapplied to a xenophobic truck ad.

  42. strong silence on July 13th, 2005 8:31 am

    Ichiro has a wonderful sense of humor. When asked how it felt making his first plate appearance as a reserve, he replied “The batter’s box was a little messy.” So deadpan.

  43. strong silence on July 13th, 2005 8:41 am

    I would vote to delete that Wikipedia entry but I don’t have the time to learn how to do it. It’s okay to make fun of Bloomquist, but Wikipedia isn’t the proper place for it. I mean…. think of the children!

    And our boys overseas. And all the shut-ins.

  44. Laurie on July 13th, 2005 8:43 am

    If anyone’s still reading the posts on this thread, go over and check out what Batgirl had to say to Fox:


  45. strong silence on July 13th, 2005 8:54 am

    Batgirl is now on my list of Heroes for Young People.

    She nails the issue: See, I think if you have to spend a lot time thinking about how you’re going to keep people entertained during a baseball game, then you’re probably not the best entity to broadcast said game.

    Fox has forgotten that the game sells itself.

  46. Spike on July 13th, 2005 2:06 pm

    Did they ever know that?

  47. Jay R on July 13th, 2005 4:44 pm

    The only part of the ASG I happened to catch was Scooter explaining that a changeup was a ‘superslow pitch’. I immediately jabbed myself in the eye with a rusty spoon and mercifully passed out from the pain, missing the rest of the game.

    Batgirl’s letter was poetry.

  48. goodbye baseball on July 13th, 2005 6:35 pm

    Oh My God! They (Tiger Fans) Killed Kenny (Rogers)!


    I have one word to describe what happened to Rogers in the 7th inning last night: Karma.

    And now I’d like to move on from this controversy.