Game 92: Mariners at Blue Jays

Jeff · July 19, 2005 at 3:32 pm · Filed Under Game Threads 

How come the Mariners never do anything like this? Tonight at the Toronto Rogers Centre of SkyDome, special guests Roddy Piper, Bobby Heenan and “Mean” Gene Okerlund will be in attendance.

Now that’s a promotion. I haven’t been this jealous since the White Sox had “take your dog to the ballpark” day. Or last night at the Aquasox game, when we watched some kid win a hundred bucks by beating some other kid in a remote control car race. Yes, I know Safeco Field hosted Wrestlemania. It’s not the same.

Naturally, the entertainment at the game will feature an episode of “Piper’s Pit.” We can only hope that Rowdy Roddy cracks Aaron Sele with a coconut and takes the mound himself. Another possibility: Piper shows up in sunglasses and runs screaming at the site of Seattle bullpen.

Failing that, perhaps Heenan will refer to the Mariners as “humanoids.” If they would let Heenan and Mean Gene do the commentary for the game on, I would personally guarantee one more viewer.

It’s just too bad Gorilla Monsoon is dead, or we could do a wholesale replacement of broadcast teams, like a line change in hockey.

Aaron Sele v. Ted Lilly. Random 7:07 p.m. start. Is that 7:05 p.m. in Canadian time? Or are they only giving Roddy two minutes for the Pit? Blasphemy.


283 Responses to “Game 92: Mariners at Blue Jays”

  1. Laurie on July 19th, 2005 7:55 pm

    Anyone listening to the geezer on the post game show right now? Funny.

  2. firova on July 19th, 2005 7:58 pm

    251. Stick a fork in ’em, he said. An old Mariner trident, no doubt?

  3. David J Corcoran on July 19th, 2005 7:59 pm

    251: What is he saying? besides forks?

  4. Laurie on July 19th, 2005 8:01 pm

    That was what cracked me up – you could stick forks in Sele, Shiggy & Spiezio – they’re through. And that no wonder Hargrove got fired in Baltimore if this is how he managed. But it was the forks that made me laugh.

  5. goodbye baseball on July 19th, 2005 8:03 pm

    If Rick Rizzs = Tony Schiavone and Dave Niehaus = Gordon Solie, than Matt Morrison = Josh Matthews. They’re both idiots.

    Oh, and I’d rather hear Fozzy than Sandfrog any day of the week.

  6. Laurie on July 19th, 2005 8:04 pm

    Ditto on Fozzy.

  7. Jake on July 19th, 2005 8:33 pm

    Another morale victory for Boone, as he hits a single tonight. If memory serves, he’s about 4-30, with 8 or 9 K’s, and 1 RBI. Go Twins!

  8. Matt on July 19th, 2005 8:41 pm

    Seriously what is thorton still doing on the team? Everytime he comes in he can’t just give up one but maybe two or three would do.
    Where are you rafael soriano?!!!!!!!!!

  9. David J Corcoran on July 19th, 2005 8:46 pm

    Let’s trade Spiez and Thornton for Tim Redding and Darrel May and cash to neutralize it.

  10. Jake on July 19th, 2005 8:47 pm

    That may be dubbed the most even trade of all time due to the pure amounts of dung on both sides of that scale.

  11. David J Corcoran on July 19th, 2005 8:48 pm

    I’d just like to get some fresh dung. This dung is starting to piss me off.

  12. Jake on July 19th, 2005 8:50 pm

    Redding spent some time with the Astros, he can take Spaz’s spot on the bench.

  13. David J Corcoran on July 19th, 2005 8:51 pm

    Except he’s a pitcher…

    Wait, I see your point.

  14. AK1984 on July 19th, 2005 8:55 pm

    Re. #255

    Matt Morrison = Sean Mooney

  15. Jake on July 19th, 2005 8:56 pm

    I wonder what happened to Todd Pettengill.

  16. Paul Molitor Cocktail on July 19th, 2005 9:20 pm

    How do you get a .048 BA? I mean, HOW?

  17. goodbye baseball on July 19th, 2005 9:24 pm

    264. Forgot about Mooney. He went on to be a weeknight news anchor for WWOR-TV in New York. It’s no coincidence that their newscasts became unwatchable. In fact, that station as a whole was unwatchable in the 90s when the pre-Olerud Mets were awful.

    BTW, WWOR now airs 20 Yankees games a year farmed out by YES. (A friend from NYC told me that.)

  18. Jim on July 19th, 2005 9:34 pm

    #2 that is creepy. Hope you bought a lottery ticket tonight.

    Sele will not be dumped until young talent is ready to attempt to take his place. Right now there is no one ready. Maybe you could screw around with Mateo again, but…. methinks we’re stuck with Aaron for the season. The good news is that should remove any fantasies about competing and get us into “sellers” mode.

    Thornton and Spiezio, on the other hand, must go away immediately at whatever cost. This team would be measurably better with Sherrill and Leone, or even another bat as Lopez and WFB can both play 3rd. Maybe Doyle and Choo? What the hell kind of desire and ambition leads a guy to take a 3rd strike in 3 straight PH appearances!

    There has GOT to be an NL team wanting to get Dave Hansen for the pennant race. Please. Open up spots for Doyle and Choo (or Bucky, or Christiansen, or Leone, or…) for the rest of the season and see if they don’t do better than .048.

  19. Jeff in Fremont on July 19th, 2005 10:31 pm

    Doyle = Outback Jack

    /sorry, just got home

  20. Mat on July 19th, 2005 11:07 pm

    In regards to #257, you obviously haven’t been following the Twins all season. That line is about what Luis Rivas would give you, except that with Boone, we can hope he’ll become an average major league hitter again, while with Rivas we know he never has been, isn’t now, and won’t likely ever be a league average hitter. Boone’s not gonna set the world on fire, but he’s better than what was there before him. I’m perfectly happy with the move, anyway.

  21. vj on July 20th, 2005 4:35 am

    Derek, why are comments off on the Jamie Moyer Homestarter post?

  22. Unkle Rusty on July 20th, 2005 8:38 am

    Re: 245, or would that be flotsam?

    Oh crap, I always screw that up.

  23. Brian Rust on July 20th, 2005 9:31 am

    As mariners, we need to understand our nautical terms.

    flotsam = floating wreckage or cargo from a damaged or sunken ship
    jetsam = cargo thrown overboard to lighten a ship in distress (see jettison)

    As I understand the “law of the sea,” jetsam is considered abandoned, salvageable by whoever recovers it (like waivers). Flotsam is considered still the property of, and responsibility of, the ship’s owners, at least for a time (like a three-year contract).

    Interesting parallels. Spiezio is neither as yet although he probably should be jetsam.

  24. Evan on July 20th, 2005 9:49 am

    Does Grover have a reason to believe that Spiezio is a better hitter than Borders, at this point? Or Olivo? Or anyone else on the bench?

    I’d have rather pinch-hit Moyer than Spiezio, there.

    Spiezio’s baseball activities should be limited to mudding the balls before the game.

  25. Evan on July 20th, 2005 9:50 am

    Oh, and I had a killer mullet when I was in high school. Like 1991.

  26. Evan on July 20th, 2005 9:53 am

    As for the prediction, I was originally going to say 12-10, but I thought it unreasonable that the M’s could score 10 runs.

  27. David J Corcoran on July 20th, 2005 9:56 am

    Nice Triple Post. I’d say that since Bloomquist was ineligible, Borders was our best hitter for the situation.

  28. Brian Rust on July 20th, 2005 10:03 am

    Based on 1 hit in a sample of 21 AB, we can conclude Spiezio is not a .207 (or better) hitter at the .95 level of confidence, or .277 (or better) at .99 confidence.

  29. JMB on July 20th, 2005 10:15 am

    I’m 100% confident he should be released.


  30. eponymous coward on July 20th, 2005 10:32 am

    But since the M’s are on the hook for 3.1 million to Spiezio next year, they aren’t quite willing to go that far into “sunk costs”- even though Spiezio’s asked to be traded (fat chance).

    Some of the talent decisions of the last few years have just panned out horribly, far more so than could have been expected at the time- Cirillo, Spiezio, Aurilia, Davis, Olivo. Add that and the Guillen trade (which was pretty bad to start), and they’ve played a big factor in why the team’s so terrible- in terms of weakening the starting lineup (by giving us gaping holes at C, SS, and 3B that we’ve had to patch) and the bench (by tempting us to keep the results of bad trades around).

  31. Brian Rust on July 20th, 2005 10:36 am

    I agree he should be gone, but I can’t fault Hargrove for using him last night. He’s on the roster to do just that, in the slim hope of salvaging some value for next year’s contract, and Grover’s other choices were a puking Bloomquist and Olivo. Hargrove probably needs to make him sink or swim to get him off the roster.

  32. Evan on July 20th, 2005 10:54 am

    That’s only $3.1 million. Spiezio’s already reached Fahrenheit Jeff Cirillo.

  33. Vin on July 20th, 2005 1:53 pm

    JEFF SHAW IS KING. Anyone who makes a They Live reference is a-okay in my book.