Game 148, Mariners at Rangers
Jeff · September 17, 2005 at 4:56 pm · Filed Under Mariners
The late summer rushes have all of us at USS Mariner Labs occupied with various and sundry tasks. Except Derek, who is on vacation. Apologies for my recent absence.
No one is more regretful than me that I wasn’t around to organize a “USSMariner-a-thon,” where you could bid on such items as a dream date with Dave, cooking lessons from Jason, Peter White brand invisible ink or a thesaurus autographed by me and Derek. I’ll be around more this coming week.
Today, it’s Joel “Hold ‘Em High” Pineiro versus Kenny “Hide Your Women and Photographers” Rogers. It’s all about dignity at this point.
Comments
110 Responses to “Game 148, Mariners at Rangers”
I got lucky
With this lousy team, did any really NOT expect to lose this one in the Ninth?
so what’s on tv now? I’m depressed again 🙁
I don’t know about Betancourt, but Willie is one hellava lot better than Loopy Lopez.
I’m just getting home. What a wacky lineup!
DH-iro
YuBet second
Ibanez in right
Morse back in left
Choo in center
And yet, this lineup produced six runs.
6 runs with no help from Beltre. I know he’ll do better next year, but he basically replaced the 2004 version of Bret Boone this year.
Boone 2004: 251/317/423 24 HR, 83 RBI in 148 games
Beltre 2005: 257/302/415 18 HR, 80 RBI in 141 games
He he cost 2-3 million more. He’ll be better. Right?
Obviously the Texas Rangers are stealing signs through a hidden camera in centerfield which relays the incoming pitch directly into a wireless receiver antennae, which protrude from the back of the necks of the Texas Rangers like the blue gill from Star Trek: TNG (Conspiracy). The receiver sends the data directly through chips implanted in the brains of the Rangers batters to stimulate the various impulses necessary to handle the pitch in question. The batter is not even consciously aware that this is happening, as the microchips are already programmed to react to a low and away slider or inside cut fastball. Because of the speed of the transmission system, the batters are able to react to a pitch in the nth of a second that it takes for the ball to reach home plate.
How else can we possibly explain the roughing up of the King, who despite not having the best control and accuracy, was still lit up for 4 runs in his shortest start ever? Or how the batters kept getting to the new “Hold ‘Em High” Joel Piniero, despite other teams being nearly ineffective at even trying to make contact? Or perhaps we should use the evidence of Eduardo Guardado who was virtually unhittable before entering these troublesome confines that is AmeriQuest Field?
Ladies and gentlemen, there is a conspiracy afoot here, and I have just exposed it to you all.
Sincerely yours,
Mark Buehrle.
Blowers was shaking his head friday night about the Mariners and how historically they have gone into Texas and lost– he said you’d never feel safe– no matter how many runs you put on the board, they’d be coming up in the bottom of the ninth, and somehow take the game away….
Oh bugger, bugger, bugger. I just found out we lost. We were winning this when I went to put my kids to bed. Should have traded Eddie. Don’t say lots of us here didn’t tell you Mr Bavasi.
Where’d I leave my whiskey?
BTW, Seattle drinkers. Very, very good Irish whiskey available in all liquor stores for 19 bucks a throw. John Power and Sons Gold Label Irish Whiskey. Yummy. Better than brands that cost 50% or 100% more. I’ll stop and go pour myself one before I get mistaken for a spammer.
Man, I just cringed when I saw the Beltre-Boone comparison. I also can’t believe that i would kill for a 280/320/450 season out of him right now. So sad.