Nefarious Yankee Cheating Revealed: A USSM Special Report
Investigative reporting isn’t dead, not even on this Mariner off-day. You suspect the worst of the Yankees, and we’re here to verify those suspicions.
Forget steroids, Bud, and eat your heart out, White Sox: the scandal of the year is neither Texas’ sign-stealing system nor Rafael Palmeiro’s favorite breakfast food. It’s the Yankees, with the help of ESPN, actively stealing runs from opponents.
As Othello might say, here’s the ocular proof from ESPN’s Gamecast. Check out the bottom of the sixth inning, where Baltimore somehow is credited with a negative run.
How could anyone believe the Os would actually give back a run? Sosa wasn’t even in the lineup. Besides, if anyone could have scored a negative run in one inning, it would have been those Mariner teams of the early 80s.
So there you have it: indisputable proof of the pro-Yankee conspiracy emanating from Bristol. [And stealing runs while they’re up 11, no less. That’s just mean.]
My Pulitzer’s in the mail. I can feel it.