DePo, Theo to form joint venture team

DMZ · October 31, 2005 at 7:13 pm · Filed Under General baseball 

This is a USSM exclusive: outsted new school GMs Theo Epstein and Paul DePodesta have joined forces and are seeking venture capital for their new venture, tentatively titled “TheoDePo Co.” The two whiz kids will attempt to acquire the Las Vegas 51s, reach a deal with Las Vegas development companies to build an entertainment complex that includes a baseball-only stadium, and then petition Major League Baseball under a set of rules they believe force the league to bring the matter of admitting the team to a vote, as long as the proposal meets certain financial and market critiera… rumored backers of the development deal are a dream team of Las Vegas companies, headed by Steve Wynn, and including Boyd Gaming Corp. and Park Place.

This could set into effect a series of even crazier events: owners may be swayed to vote for the proposal by the chance to use the Las Vegas team’s cash payment to contract one of the leagues worst franchises that constantly suck revenue-sharing money, like the Twins or Devil Rays, leaving those cities to pick up a minor-league affiliation instead. Under the current CBA, such a franchise swap is not prohibited because it would not affect the total number of teams in existence.

Whether a new, well-financed franchise is added to the mix or supplants an existing poor one, this would dramatically change the dynamics of free agency in this off-season and may send the price of premier free agents like Paul Konerko skyrocketing.

Baseball analysts note that this is all totally not true, and they’re correct, I totally made this all up. But would it be any weirder than what’s been going on in Boston this last week?


23 Responses to “DePo, Theo to form joint venture team”

  1. Rob on October 31st, 2005 7:26 pm

    You had me going for a few sentences, but my eye caught the truth at the bottom. It’s an interesting idea, I must admit haha. What would be even WEIRDER than this happening is if the Mariners had a respectable offseason…

  2. JMB on October 31st, 2005 7:27 pm

    Wait — the M’s didn’t have a respectable off-season last year?

  3. Gomez on October 31st, 2005 8:20 pm

    Indeed, given Epstein’s crazy decision, you had us going because it made sense in comparison.

    Given the front office chaos in Beantown and the extensive necessary roster work that can’t be done until Boston now finds a new GM, a .500 season and 3rd place for the BoSox in 2006 would not surprise me. This would be a good year for the Jays, Rays or Orioles to step up and try to at least challenge for the wildcard.

  4. Rob on October 31st, 2005 8:40 pm

    Last year was a productive off-season. I guess it seems like I’m taking a cheapshot at the FO, but I’m really just saying that there aren’t the players out there to make this an impact offseason… there’s trade but that’s hard to judge because we can’t really know what’s available. I wasn’t trying to chip away at them and say last year’s winter was awful.

  5. JMB on October 31st, 2005 8:45 pm

    OK, OK.

    Hey, I heard Manny Ramirez might be available.

  6. Jonathan on October 31st, 2005 9:06 pm

    So how would our “family friendly” FO feel about Manny just being Manny?

    No, I’m not being serious. But wouldn’t it be fun to see him park one out on Royal Brougham? I had hoped Buhner would be the one to do that, then I seem to recall something about Glenallen Hill, he of the across-the-street-and-on-to-the-next-roof bomb out of Wrigley. Guess the Friendly Confines weren’t so confining.

    How many weeks until pitchers & catchers?

  7. Mike Snow on October 31st, 2005 9:30 pm

    Hey, I heard Manny Ramirez might be available.

    Actually, that’s not true, because tomorrow Henry and Lucchino are going to introduce Manny as the new GM. They figure they’ll be better able to control him that way.

  8. skipj on October 31st, 2005 9:47 pm

    Theo surprises. I think Derek has constructed a reasonable scenario. Money might be different, but Derek knows, I know, you know, baseball knows, and God knows, that MLB in Vegas is just a matter of time.
    Why not sooner, rather than later?
    At the minimum, it would be great fun to watch a tradional owner try to grab 500 million from the legislature. (“Say what.” “Pardon me?” “No, see, you pay us.”)
    Look for a retractable roof, with sky lights! in an A/C stadium soon.
    The guys there will build as they negotiate…it’s a done deal.
    Money will out.

  9. DaddyO on October 31st, 2005 9:58 pm

    Loyalty schmoyalty. If Lucchino indeed leaked the story behind the article referred to in the Boston Globe, it was clear that loyalty would not have been a two way street.

    Besides, the Red Sox would not have hesitated to dump Epstein the moment he no longer suited their purposes. Loyalty would not have been a factor.

    It’s even possible that Lucchino knew exactly how Epstein would react to the story and used it as a means of driving him out without appearing to do so.

  10. DaddyO on October 31st, 2005 9:59 pm

    Hmmm, somehow this post went to the wrong “Theo Epstein” thread. Apologies.

  11. geofftoons on October 31st, 2005 10:15 pm

    Funny stuff DMZ! I think you’ve been reading too much stuff on The Onion and it’s starting to rub off. (Have you thought about submitting it to them?)

    The scariest thing about your scenario is if one of the cities lost their major league team and wanted to replace it with a minor league franchise, they would probably come after the Rainers!

  12. ML on October 31st, 2005 10:28 pm

    Maybe we could con them both into rescuing the Rainiers. 😉

    Barring a minor miracle, we’ll be tearing down the proverbial Cheney Stadium goal posts for good come early September 2006…

  13. mark from Oly. wa. on November 1st, 2005 1:40 am

    Vegas baseball!

    It would be great. Just think of all the stars you would have to sing the National Anthem! There would be as many fans from out of town as in town. Get a hot dog and play a slot machine while you wait in line. I wonder waitresses would be giving away free drinks in the stadium?

    Oh, gambling, booze, and baseball, the way it use to be played!

  14. mark from Oly. wa. on November 1st, 2005 1:42 am

    “any weirder than what’s been going on in Boston this last week?”

    Theo and DePo get hired by the Cubs and win the ’06 World Series.

    “Well if I could win with Boston I could do it with anyone.”

  15. Aboba on November 1st, 2005 3:42 am

    Saw the Las Vegas 51s host the Rainers in June. It was an evening game, the temperature was in the high 90s and the attendance was on the low side. Let’s just say that the “entertainment complex” better be air conditioned.

    Of course, with the Vegas construction boom, the “entertainment complex” would probably also include overpriced condos. Given this, can The Donald be far behind? I sense the making of a future Apprentice episode….

  16. BoneFan on November 1st, 2005 7:12 am

    Seriously, at any point this summer and fall, who imagined the Yanks would emerge as the face of stability in the AL East? That Cashman and Torre would both be back? That Cashman would ostensibly win a power struggle with Tampa? And that Theo would apparently see eye-to-eye with Steinbrenner, at least on their assessments of Larry Lucchino? As they say in Beantown … wicked bizzah.

    Lucchnino will hire another “protege” in Boston. Hunsicker and Bobby V form a Mets alumni assn in LA, give Konerko $11M a year, and trade Choi for a bag of baseballs (by August 1, Frank McCourt’s family will report him missing; some of V’s “associates” from Queens will be sought for questioning). Theo takes a job with the Bruins.

  17. goodbye baseball on November 1st, 2005 10:30 am

    13. Does Pete Rose know about this? Ha!

  18. eponymous coward on November 1st, 2005 11:42 am

    I got to see Felix pitch the last ST game at Cashman Field this year. Yeah, I’m thinking domed stadium…

    Actually, I suspect the NBA will go there first. They are already having an All-Star game there, the Maloofs own the Kings AND the Palms, and an NBA team can survive in a smaller town drawing 15-20K a night (see: Portland, San Antonio, Sacramento), which is probably more realistic for Las Vegas than 30K for a baseball team. And I bet Oscar Goodman would gladly dump some NBA betting over the side to get a team…

  19. John D. on November 1st, 2005 11:52 am

    You have your holidays mixed up. Yesterday was Halloween. April Fool’s Day isn’t here yet.
    BTW, I hear that Theo is going in with his brother, to do some social work.

  20. Ralph Malph on November 1st, 2005 11:59 am

    Pardon my ignorance, but I see a couple comments here about the Rainiers or Cheney stadium. Is Cheney stadium getting torn down? Are we losing the Rainiers? What up?

  21. Jim Thomsen on November 1st, 2005 2:03 pm

    What could Theo and DePo do together that they couldn’t do separately for two organizations? I’d rather see them double their influence over baseball before the new-school backlash completely takes over.

  22. Nick on November 1st, 2005 4:36 pm

    I thought I read somewhere that Theo was starting a non-profit with the goal of bringing $1 bottled water to every MLB stadium. Go figure.

  23. David Pinto on November 4th, 2005 2:00 pm

    An excellent bit of satire, and an excellent idea to boot!