Fun With the MLB Photo Wire

Jeff · December 15, 2005 at 4:47 pm · Filed Under General baseball 

Frivolous Friday links: If you haven’t been introduced to the magic of the MLB photo wire, take my word and take a gander.

There you’ll find a host of photos that, for one reason or another, won’t make it into your local Dead Tree Edition. In certain cases, you can even run your own private caption contest. Here are just a few examples:

Hey, look! A dinosaur! Jeff Kent’s trying to steal your car!”

* “Please, Lord, let Major League Baseball adopt softball-like rules that allow teams to play five outfielders.”

* Marlins President David Sampson attempts to one-up Juan “Wiggly Feel” Pierre by getting busy with a beat-box to set up his new joint, “Fire Sale Delight.”

* “We loooooove The Leader! The Leader protects us from players with value!”

And, finally:

* “TheoEpsteinsayswhat?”

Try this at home: it’s fun for the whole family.


30 Responses to “Fun With the MLB Photo Wire”

  1. dirk on December 15th, 2005 7:50 pm

    Here’s another incredible link, wow…

    (Eddies value is through the roof)

  2. Melvin Bob on December 15th, 2005 7:55 pm

    Donning his infamous Groucho Marx costume, a disguised Bobby Valentine demands to know why he wasn’t offered an interview for the Florida Marlins’ vacant managerial job.

  3. Rob on December 15th, 2005 7:56 pm

    Braden Looper will be getting 3 years for $13.5 mil?!?!?! He’ll be a set-up man for Isringhausen…

    You’re right Dirk- a trade of Eddie for a starting pitcher looks very attractive right now. Move Soriano to closer and call it good for now. I’ll leave it to that since it’s just speculation.

    Props to Looper’s agent on this one, however.

  4. Jake L. on December 15th, 2005 7:59 pm

    “New Mariner DH Carl Everett happily responds to a reporter at a recent news conference, who asked him what he wanted for Christmas. Everett answered, ‘A T-shirt depicting Jesus kicking a Gay Dinosaur in the crotch.'”

  5. Melvin Bob on December 15th, 2005 8:03 pm

    Asked why he’s worth nearly 13 million a year, a bewildered Rafael Furcal responds by simply shrugging his shoulders.

  6. Steve McCatty Nation on December 15th, 2005 8:04 pm

    In commemoration of Tony Batista signing a one-year deal with the Jays today, thereby assuring Bavasi not being responsible for the worst one-year contract of the offseason, I offer the following:

  7. Melvin Bob on December 15th, 2005 8:06 pm

    Grady Little is so amazing that he can stare at the sun without tilting his head.

  8. Melvin Bob on December 15th, 2005 8:13 pm

    Noting the popularity of the Phillie Fanatic, the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim have selected Hector Carrasco as the team’s new mascot.

  9. Jake L. on December 15th, 2005 8:17 pm

    “Former Met first baseman (and possible Royal-to-be?) Doug Mientkiewicz is seen here practicing his mug shot photo for the 10-state killing spree he’s planning after the 2006 season.”

  10. Melvin Bob on December 15th, 2005 8:26 pm

    After realizing that he just gave 13 million to a relief pitcher, Cubs’ GM John Hendry tries to correct his mistake by pulling away Bob Howry’s jersey. Alas, Hendry’s attempt is in vain since Howry’s GI Kong-Fu grip is too strong.

  11. Melvin Bob on December 15th, 2005 8:30 pm

    After signing a five year deal with the Toronto Blue Jays, closer BJ Ryan is congratulated by owner Freddie Krueger.

  12. Rob on December 15th, 2005 8:34 pm
  13. Rob on December 15th, 2005 9:33 pm

    I just read the caption under that photo and I’d like to retract what I said because that’s actually a serious situation…

    Boonie could still look like that in 20 years nonetheless.

  14. Rob on December 15th, 2005 9:35 pm

    Moises Alou hoping that he’s on “Punked” with the recent Matt Morris signing.

  15. Rob on December 15th, 2005 10:03 pm
  16. John on December 15th, 2005 10:20 pm

    “The Rockies celebrate their 13th anniversary by having the street outside their stadium named after the team’s average ERA”

  17. vj on December 16th, 2005 3:10 am

    Phillies GM Pat Gillick impatiently waits for the news conference to end so that he can go to the bathroom.

  18. Jake L. on December 16th, 2005 7:58 am

    Buck Showalter: “Pssst! Hey, Vicente, are you okay? You just puked all over Hank Blalock’s shoes!”

    Vicente Padilla: “Huh? Oh, uh, yeah, I (burp) meant to do that.”

  19. msb on December 16th, 2005 8:14 am

    #9- KC is cornering the vowel market — they’ve added Mientkiewicz and Grudzielanek….

  20. wabbles on December 16th, 2005 9:23 am

    Is it just me or is that woman flipping off the Marlins owner? (Or was that the joke?)

  21. PositivePaul on December 16th, 2005 9:31 am

    Different source, but same idea:

    Evil Rick Rizzs Visits Macy’s, Scares Kids!

  22. Jeff on December 16th, 2005 10:18 am

    Paul, I just e-mailed that link to the other USSM guys under the subject heading “There is no way I am posting this.” Unleashing this weirdness on the world falls on you, my friend.

    Well, actually on KOMO. But still.

  23. TW on December 16th, 2005 10:24 am

    As for the KOMO link, I strongly recommend that you NEVER OPEN IT. You will never, ever get that out of your head.

  24. Paul B on December 16th, 2005 10:28 am

    AIEEEEE!! I clicked on the link! Rizz is SINGING!

    My ears are meltinggggg…

  25. PositivePaul on December 16th, 2005 10:32 am

    Well, you do know I’m emotionally secure enough to see my comments deleted ’round here 🙂

    Actually, for those of you who actually DID listen to Rick Rizzs sing psuedo-christmas songs, you can always cleanse your mind with the Robert Fick fanimutation, which, while silly, at least has a cameo by Colin Mochrie and a verse on Billy Beane. I swear I’ve watched that thing 100 times, and R’dOTFLMFAO every single time…

  26. TW on December 16th, 2005 10:36 am

    Paul B, you were warned. Perhaps they are trying to distract us from Carl Everett?

  27. msb on December 16th, 2005 10:43 am

    there actually was an explanation for that on the hot stove show last night– Rizz was singing to entertain himself while they were getting ready to record something else, and the engineer said ‘got any more?’ and recorded them. That doesn’t explain why they felt the need to share them with us, however 🙂

    I think I’ll go and watch Batgirl’s little ode to the 2005 TwinsOh Five! from last spring myself….

  28. collison on December 16th, 2005 12:01 pm

    [url=]Ironically, were also celebrating “Deferred Mike Hampton Contract Day” that day.[/url]

  29. collison on December 16th, 2005 12:02 pm


    Ironically, the Rockies were also celebrating “Deferred Mike Hampton Contract Day” that day.

  30. collison on December 16th, 2005 12:03 pm

    me no unnerstand posting