Tuesday Marinerosity

DMZ · May 2, 2006 at 10:40 am · Filed Under Mariners 

Today features accounts of Beltre’s joke on Hargrove(PI), which is good fun. It would have been cool if they’d actually done it, too. Still, funny (TNT).

Pineiro is the new version of good Franklin, except with better stuff.


86 Responses to “Tuesday Marinerosity”

  1. Smegmalicious on May 2nd, 2006 4:01 pm

    No, but it may turn into an intervention for people like little joey who have no sense of humor.

    I see it as a great sign that Beltre is getting comfortable enough to prank people.

  2. little joey on May 2nd, 2006 4:04 pm

    In terms of a joke, yeah, it’s funny. I guess I’m surprised that no players observed the strike, though. Baseball is about as high profile as it gets for immigrant labor, and if any of us were to visualize a day without it, there would be no better place than at the ballpark.

    Let me clarify. I’m not offended by the joke, just irritated that no one decided to do anything serious… Hank Greenberg observed Yom Kippur at a time when anti-semitism was common, and I think it’s a way of communicating something to baseball fans that they otherwise wouldn’t gave gotten. If we were to stop and think about what baseball would be like without foreign born players, which it once was, we might think harder about immigration policy.

    The anti-pc backlash here is way, way too strong. I don’t buy post-pc humor, and in lots of cases, I never will. Some jokes just aren’t ever gonna be ok.

  3. little joey on May 2nd, 2006 4:08 pm

    woah, you don’t know me smeg, and i think the “no sense of humor” thing is a little harsh. i don’t post enough to make enemies here. let’s keep things friendly, right? if you folks don’t want to talk about the polical angle in those stories, then don’t. i like baseball better anyway.

  4. davepaisley on May 2nd, 2006 4:09 pm

    Gee, and there was I thinking that baseball players are here with legal visas and everything…

  5. Thingray on May 2nd, 2006 4:11 pm

    I have to admit, that would have been a powerful message if all the foreign-born players took the day off in support of the immigration protests.

    On the other hand, I agree with #54. They ARE here on legal visas, which Eddie mentioned today. He said he was all for immigration, but he wished everyone would do it the right (legal) way.

  6. Thingray on May 2nd, 2006 4:12 pm

    Great prank on Grover though!

  7. dw on May 2nd, 2006 4:13 pm

    Does this mean the thread is open to an immigration debate?!

    No. No, no, no, no, no.

    Gee, and there was I thinking that baseball players are here with legal visas and everything…

    You missed the time back in 1987 when a family of slap-hitting infielders arrived at Dodger Stadium hidden in a semi trailer.

  8. Tek Jansen on May 2nd, 2006 4:16 pm

    If the AARP ever holds a massive rally for social security, Moyer should tell Hargrove that he will take the day off in a show of solidarity.

  9. Smegmalicious on May 2nd, 2006 4:21 pm

    Dude, little joey, relax! See, you’re kind of making my point since I meant what I said as a joke too.

    Anyway, I was just ribbing you lightheartedly so lets be friends, ok?

    This should cheer you up:
    Since Joel Pinero is now a junkballer, I think he should develop the eephus! I’m honestly surprised Jamie Moyer hasn’t used it already.

  10. Thingray on May 2nd, 2006 4:24 pm

    Who threw the eephus to A-Rod a few years ago? Wasn’t it somebody on the Yankees (at the time)?

  11. deltwelve on May 2nd, 2006 4:24 pm

    But when the right way is to have a special talent with a tiny white ball or barrel of wood, and find a multi-million dollar company that will take care of the whole process for you, the right way is pretty easy for a few and quite difficult for others.

    And now we return to our regular programming…(?)

  12. Tek Jansen on May 2nd, 2006 4:33 pm

    On the radio pre-game Valle announced his pick-to-click. Two hints for those of you not listening. Hint one: gritty. Hint two: intangibles.

  13. DMZ on May 2nd, 2006 4:34 pm

    No one today throws the Eephus as it was created. Some pitchers throw an extremely slow, looping curve — Livan Hernandez, for instance (I once saw him throw this to Edgar Martinez in a hitter’s count for a strike).

  14. Thingray on May 2nd, 2006 4:34 pm

    #61 – Excellent point. Not exactly the same situation for baseball players as it is for the average person to immigrate.

  15. LB on May 2nd, 2006 4:35 pm

    #40: betancourt’s ops is 702? are you referring to gonzales’?

    Yes, exactly. He’s so awful with the bat that the only reason he’s in an AL lineup is that he’s so outstanding on defense. On offense, he so bad he makes YuBet look like Tejada.

  16. Thingray on May 2nd, 2006 4:35 pm

    Maybe it was Livan I saw pitching to A-Rod then. I just recall it was a big deal on SportsCenter at the time.

  17. DMZ on May 2nd, 2006 4:35 pm

    Also: I love that we’re alternately accused of being wildly too pro-pc and fostering an anti-pc backlash. Wheee.

  18. John in L.A. on May 2nd, 2006 4:42 pm

    #59 – I would kill three people to see Jamie Moyer let loose a real, honest-to-god eephus. Heck, he’s halfway there already.

    #67 – That implies perfect balance.

  19. joser on May 2nd, 2006 4:43 pm

    I don’t know, Little Joey — I could read your inital comment as covering for some belated embarrassment over your sense of smug entitlement as a non-immigrant and your inaction on this subject in the past. I’m not saying that’s your actual feelings and position, I’m saying one could read it that way. Which just empasizes the danger of reading motive into brief comments online, particularly in a heterogeneous community like this one, and why I think your “anti-pc backlash” is out of line. If african americans can use the N word, if jews can joke about jewish stereotypes, if Nathan Lane can fag it up for laughs in “Birdcage,” then I think it just might be OK for latin american immigrants to joke about immigration (and note in this case they actually weren’t joking about the subject, but using it as a pretext to pull a prank).

    Yeah, there was a time when sports figures regularly got themselves involved in politics. It usually didn’t turn out well for them (Ali lost three of his prime boxing years, for example), and they are often damned if they do and damned if they don’t. Major League Baseball could certainly lighten up in a lot of ways (and the Hall of Fame in particular) but I think the days when we looked to sports figures as moral leaders (rather than, say, good citizens of means and repute) is long passed. Today the American public largely seems to want to keep its sports and its politics separate, and any kind of organized sit-out might have hurt the cause as much as it might have helped draw attention to it. And would non-Latino players — native or not — be expected to sit down as well, in moral sympathy if nothing else (and what of hockey, which I believe has a higher percentage of non-native professionals in the US than baseball?)

    By the way, I write this as a green card holder who didn’t march but also didn’t work yesterday (just wish it had been a day game here at Safeco…)

  20. deltwelve on May 2nd, 2006 4:44 pm

    Though perhaps no one throws the eephus regulary, Mark Buehrle threw one to Ichiro in ’04. In a game in September when Ichiro was hitting everything and nearing the hits record, he had hits in his first three at bats against Buehrle, so Buehrle lobbed an eephus in. The pitch was a ball, and Ichiro finished the game 5-5.


  21. Smegmalicious on May 2nd, 2006 4:45 pm

    We need to start a ‘bring back the Eephus’ campaign. It is the greatest pitch known to man. Also that article about it is pretty awesome.

  22. joser on May 2nd, 2006 4:46 pm

    Somebody threw a pseudo-Eephus to Ichiro a season or two ago. Somebody remind me of the details — it was one of those games where he had already gone 4 for 4 and was fouling everything off in a long at-bat and the pitcher kind of just gave up. Wish I could remember the opposing team…

  23. little joey on May 2nd, 2006 4:47 pm

    I like the posts that you guys do- the Korean dry cleaner comment, etc. it’s nifty that this site looks at baseball in terms of culture, because that’s important. but on a thread about this particular story, it’s frustrating to look up after 5 minutes and see a bunch of comments telling me to take it easy… nobody is crying because Beltre made a joke.

    btw, what you said about Livan reminds me eerily of his BP comment a couple years ago. your work?

  24. Jim Thomsen on May 2nd, 2006 4:47 pm

    I accuse USS Mariner of blatant fungibility.

  25. joser on May 2nd, 2006 4:47 pm

    Ah deltwelve, thank you — posted the answer as I was posting the question.

  26. deltwelve on May 2nd, 2006 4:49 pm


    “fag it up”? Really going for broke in defense of anti-pc-ness.

  27. joser on May 2nd, 2006 4:50 pm

    One thing about Piniero’s performance last night: several commentators mentioned they thought the Twins, coming off that brutal sweep by Detroit where they were outscored 33-1, were “pressing” and swinging early. That probably contributed greatly to the rather extreme result Piniero got — so many ground balls, no walks, no Ks. A more patient group of hitters would have got some walks, watched some called third strikes, and maybe hit a few more up in the air.

  28. Jim Thomsen on May 2nd, 2006 4:54 pm

    Then again, desperate hackers usually strike out a fair amount.

  29. joser on May 2nd, 2006 4:54 pm

    deltwelve: I live on Capitol Hill. The convenience store down the street is advertising itself as the “Brokeback Deli” (“Special: corndogs!”)

  30. Thingray on May 2nd, 2006 5:11 pm

    Piniero has always been a mystery to me. I can’t count the number of times he has had a game where you look at the stats afterwards and go, “huh?”

    It doesn’t seem like his “stuff” changes all that much, just some games he looks good, and others he looks horrible.

  31. manzell on May 2nd, 2006 5:42 pm

    did today’s game get delayed, or have 1.5+ innings really taken 100 minutes?

  32. windknot on May 2nd, 2006 10:01 pm

    66. It was Orlando Hernandez of the Yankees who threw the eephus to Alex Rodriguez. I have no sources beside my memory, so I could be wrong. I thought El Duque as soon as I saw you post the question though so I’m pretty sure he was the one.

  33. vj on May 3rd, 2006 12:58 am

    Too bad the players didn’t strike, that would have led to a fun lineup:
    SP-Washburn (instead of Pineiro, had five days since last start)
    3B-some Pitcher (who’s the best fielder?)
    DH-Some other Pitcher, or just let Washburn swing away
    Bullpen-Green, Livingston, Sherrill, Putz, Woods

  34. DMZ on May 3rd, 2006 9:22 am

    Okay, so if I was Hargrove and I had to do that, and I lost Guardado/Felix/Pineiro/Soriano/Rivera/Beltre/Betancourt/Lopez/Petagine/Ibanez (holy smokes)

    I think you’d go

    C- Johjima
    1b – Sexson
    2b – Reed
    SS – Bloomquist
    3b – Lawton
    LF – Pitcher
    CF – Ichiro
    RF –
    DH – Pitcher

    You want your fastest OF in center, your best remaining IF glove at short, and then you do what you can. You’re much better off with the guy in left.

    It’s worth noting too at that point that you’re looking at Bloomquist switching to C if Keji takes a foul tip wrong, and then you’ve got to move someone to short…

    I wish they’d actually walked out. That would have been a great statement as well as making for a crazy day of baseball games.

  35. vj on May 3rd, 2006 10:07 am

    Great statement for sure. Crazy day of baseball only if all the latinos on all teams walk out or at least the latinos on the twins. Otherwise, you’d look at a laugher, especially with a pitch to contact guy like Washburn (or Pineiro for that matter) on the mound.
    My idea for a symbolic gesture would be to hand in a lineup card as above and then bring in the latin starters as pinch-hitters, defensive substitutes or relief pitchers.
    BTW, my lineup was based on the assumption that Ichiro is a better infielder than Reed and the best fielding pitcher would be able to handle 3B. I supose the blank after RF in your lineup stands for “He who shall not be named and doesn’t believe in Dinosaurs”.

  36. joser on May 3rd, 2006 11:26 am

    Except Ichiro and Johjima are immigrants too (at least temporarily, and surely are legal aliens), so technically (and perhaps morally) they should sit too. And then what?

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