Sexson Green with envy or something

DMZ · May 3, 2006 at 10:30 am · Filed Under Mariners 

Sexson’s in a funk, if you haven’t noticed. But, like Middle-Aged Man, he’s working on it (PI). Time to see that Pentland magic (wait, no, can he fix Beltre and Sexson at once?). Also, some bad puns on Green’s name in today’s notebooks at the dailies.

On the charter flight to Chicago:
Bloomquist: I’m on fire! Guys, guys, have you seen me hit lately?
Lopez: Yes.
Bloomquist: Was the bat smoking?
Lopez: No.
Bloomquist: Because I’m on fire!
Lopez: I heard that.
Bloomquist: Guess how many hits I have.
Lopez: No.
Bloomquist: Go on, guess.
Lopez: No.
Bloomquist: Come ooooooooooooooonnn.
Lopez: You have no hits.
Bloomquist: Higher…
Lopez: One.
Bloomquist: Come on, you’re not even trying.
Lopez: No, I’m not.
Bloomquist: Nine! Nine hits.
Lopez: You’re on fire.
Bloomquist: Yes! Guess how long it took me to get nine hits last year.
Lopez: You got nine hits last year?
Bloomquist: Of course I got nine hits last year.
Lopez: Uh huh.
Bloomquist: May 29th! Can you believe it? And this year I got it on May 2nd! Wow.
Lopez: Skip, can I throw Willie out of the plane?
Hargrove: Okay, but you have to be the emergency catcher.
Lopez: It’s not worth it.
Bloomquist: You couldn’t throw me out. You’d burn your hands.
Lopez: Because you’re on fire, yes. I get it already.


66 Responses to “Sexson Green with envy or something”

  1. Evan on May 3rd, 2006 1:35 pm

    Lopez doesn’t have the OBP to bat second, but Ibanez does. I’d bat Ibanez second. Or Kenji, I suppose. But Ibanez is my first choice.

  2. Evan on May 3rd, 2006 1:36 pm

    Oh, and does this make Willie’s new nickname “The Burning Man” or “The Wicker Man”?

  3. Jim Thomsen on May 3rd, 2006 1:39 pm

    Then who bats third?

  4. Deanna on May 3rd, 2006 1:48 pm

    no, Who bats first.

  5. msb on May 3rd, 2006 1:50 pm

    looking at the other news of the day, apparently the Nats sale will finally be announced today

  6. msb on May 3rd, 2006 1:54 pm

    wow, speaking of ignitors.

  7. Evan on May 3rd, 2006 1:54 pm

    Third? If Richie were being Richie, it would be him. Without him… uh… Petagine? Maybe Joh? Everett?

    It’s scary that Everett is actually about the third-best option to bat third.

  8. chrisisasavage on May 3rd, 2006 2:08 pm

    Sexson looks like he’s lost all his power in his swing. That’s my off the cuff, based on what I’ve seen opinion. That may not be the case, but every fly-ball I see him hit, doesn’t look like it’s going very far. Is it his shoulder, ala Shawn Green? I hope not. Actually Shawn Green’s current season would be better than this.

  9. chrisisasavage on May 3rd, 2006 2:11 pm

    To avoid confusion, that’s Shawn Green, RF, Arizona, not Sean Green RHP, Seattle. I can only hope most people on this site realized that.

  10. Evan on May 3rd, 2006 2:22 pm

    Richie’s shoulder injury was the sort that should have either failed right away, or healed. It didn’t fail, so it should be fine now.

  11. Dave in Palo Alto on May 3rd, 2006 2:31 pm

    Gad! $450 mill. for a team in perpetual peonage to Peter Angelos? Oh, to have such money to burn . . . .

  12. Typical Idiot Fan on May 3rd, 2006 2:43 pm

    No power in Sexson’s swing? His last few hits have been extra bases. His power stroke is fine. It’s his ability to make contact with the ball that’s lacking at the moment.

  13. Russ on May 3rd, 2006 3:05 pm

    #54 Deanna, even with the meat served up on that one, I still smiled. Sometimes you just make me laugh.

  14. dickpole on May 3rd, 2006 5:45 pm

    Thanks to number 32 for getting the reference and shame on you who thought it referred to anything other than one of my favorite Mariner players. I like humor as much as the next guy or gal and can appreciate making fun of players and the team and all of that, but I guess what I’m looking for is………….the humor. Funny stuff, like #32 mentioned. What initially brought me to this list was the inane kid club nerdbanter that was on the M’s Official Website Fan Forum. I have to say USSM is starting to resemble that site–not just with this thread–and it’s too bad. I miss the old USSM. And I know already, you don’t have to post a response: If I don’t like it here in the ol’ USS of M, I can just go back to where the he-ell I came from.

  15. Jake on May 4th, 2006 7:58 am

    I have to leave a quick message about the WFB and Lopez dialogue.

    Too funny. I have gone back and read this witty piece more than once, and each time I chuckle. Well DONE!

    Of course, I need more.

  16. igor206 on May 4th, 2006 10:09 am

    Awesome post, #2 pulled the best snippet. Regarding the lineup, we need to go with one similar to what we used in the Twins blowout, except swap out Everett for Petagine and maybe move Johjima up. I haven’t seen an inning like the 6th in that game for quite a while, and it might be because 2) Bloomquist and Everett couldn’t ruin it in tandem, and 2) Lawton’s our best offensive option in CF right now.

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