Barry Bonds is coming to Seattle
Tomorrow, yes, but could the petulant slugger be bringing his size XL melon to Safeco next year as well? San Francisco media reports indicate that it’s a possibility:
During a 10-minute chat initiated by two Seattle writers, Barry Bonds said he might be interested in playing for the Mariners next year. “If they’re looking for a DH, it could be,” he said.
First thought? Much ado about nothing, speculation stirred up by a couple of bored reporters. Not that I blame them. I’m all for throwing rocks at the hornet nest, especially as regards scurrilous rumor-mongering.
Bonds also reiterated how serene he is now. “That’s probably bad for me because normally when I’m an a — , I function better,” he said. “Right now, I’m having a great time with the guys, enjoying life. I may not be the ballplayer I once was, but I’m a lot happier.”
Temtping as it is to let this pass without comment, this implies a facetious five-point action plan:
Step 1: Sign Bonds
Step 2: Piss him off
Step 3: ???
Step 4: Repeat step 2
Step 5: Profit!