Simmons: who will wear the AL Crown?
Bill Simmons, who I know reads us at least occasionally which means he’s probably read some of the cracks on him, runs down the AL Teams by suckiness. The M’s are ahead of Tampa, Baltimore, and KC in their chances to win the World Series.
So what’s the scoop? I guess Putz is on steroids (nice). Big three reasons they suck:
– Hargrove (with bonus Lowe/Soriano example!)
– Beltre and Sexson are killing them
The real gold in this column, though, comes later:
Second-strangest thing about the Tigers: Six years ago, they offered Juan Gonzalez a $150 million contract that would have destroyed them for the rest of the decade if he wasn’t dumb enough to turn it down. It’s almost like the entire franchise had a near-death experience. Anyway, they took advantage of that second life and now they’re headed for 100 wins. â€¦ Meanwhile, Juan Gone is playing in the Independent League along with my buddy JackO’s pal from home, and after JackO drove to Jersey to catch one of his friend’s games, they stopped at a Subway for dinner afterwards, and who walked in but Juan Gonzalez? That’s right, the two-time MVP Juan proceeded to sit down at a table and eat a Subway sandwich by himself. These are the things that happen when you turn down a $150 million contract. I feel like you need to know these things.
Thaaaaaaaaaaaat’s what I read Simmons for.