Gil Meche’s Thanksgiving List; Plus, Idle Speculation!

Jeff · November 23, 2006 at 12:52 am · Filed Under Mariners 

Even it were not a national holiday, it would have to be a pretty exciting time to be Gil Meche. In a time when Adam Eaton can postulate receiving a $36 million deal — albeit fictionally, in Derek’s exceptional video game sendup — visions of ducats have to be dancing in his head.

Despite it being 4 a.m. in Louisiana right now, we have somehow managed to obtain the text of Gil Meche’s remarks to his family when asked to start the traditional “What Are You Thankful For?” recitation. As you might imagine, he’s shaken out Mr. Bad Feeling with great success.

Evidently, the Meche family celebrates early and often. As well they should. Without further ado, the text of Gil’s remarks:


First, I’m thankful to be blessed enough to play Major League Baseball, which is every boy’s dream.

I also have to give thanks for coming back against the odds from my injuries. People ask me what the most gratifying part was; returning to the game I love, beating the percentages, maybe learning about how much inner strength and resolve I have. Well, all of those are nice. But the best was sticking it to that guy Will Carroll! Yeah! How’s that taste, Carroll? Bitter like Aunt Marge’s stuffing, I bet.

Sorry, Aunt Marge.

I’m also thankful that somebody cares enough to maintain a Geocities website in my honor. Just to be mentioned in the same breath as T.S. Eliot, popular video game character Ico and the elves from Elfquest is a real thrill for me.

I guess I’m thankful that I helped one of the guys from that baseball blog, USS Mariner, win some money during his last trip to Las Vegas. I hear he’s in Japan, now, where there is absolutely no gambling whatsoever, so it was nice to send him off with a win.

What I’m most thankful for, of course, is that I’m one of the hottest commodities on an insane free agent market. I mean, I’m a mediocre, injury prone right-hander, and I’ve been contacted by half the teams in baseball. A third call me their “top priority!” Do you believe that? They’re comparing me to A.J. Burnett, and if they can compare our bank accounts at the end of the winter, I’ll be able to buy both of Will Carroll’s labrums on the black market.

It’s not just teams, either. I have writers from Dayn Perry to Dan Graziano tapping me as a “sleeper!” In a year when Gary Mathews’ kid is getting the Franklin Mint for the decline phase of a bad career, you know what that means. I might not get Mike Mussina money — but would it really be that improbable if I came close? You can buy a lot of gumbo with a multi-million dollar, multi-year deal.

That’s what I’m most thankful for — that and dad keeping his trap shut about “Meche” being French for “Dreifort.”

Um. I mean, what I’m most thankful for is the love of my family.

Stop looking at me like that, mom.


There you have it, folks. The man’s as happy as an American writer in Okinawa. Who can blame him? The question isn’t “will Meche get a ridiculous contract?” so much as “how rich will Gil Meche get this winter?”

With the whispers saying that Ted Lilly will get $8-9 million (Lilly is two-and-a-half years older than Meche), you have to think Meche could get the same.

In fact, I’ll register a prediction grounded in nothing more than the previous information: I think Meche will get four years, $32 million.

Am I crazy? Is the market? Both?


48 Responses to “Gil Meche’s Thanksgiving List; Plus, Idle Speculation!”

  1. RaoulDuke37 on November 23rd, 2006 1:25 am

    Sadly, I don’t think 4/32 is for Gil Meche can be considered “crazy” in this market. However in the long run…

  2. RaoulDuke37 on November 23rd, 2006 1:25 am

    “is for”?

  3. ConorGlassey on November 23rd, 2006 3:20 am

    The girl who runs the Meche sure knows a ballplayer when she sees one! She lists her three favorite players as: Meche, Ben Davis and Willie Bloomquist.

  4. mln on November 23rd, 2006 3:54 am

    The only thing more wacked than GilgaMeche getting 4 years/$32 million is if he got it from the Mariners.

  5. NBarnes on November 23rd, 2006 4:43 am

    For some reason, the phrase ‘four years, $32 million’ is hilariously funny in context.

  6. Jim Thomsen on November 23rd, 2006 5:57 am

    At Meche’s age, four years is too little. With guys aged 30-plus getting five-to-eight-year deals, I say Meche gets 6/55. At least.

  7. terry on November 23rd, 2006 7:25 am

    Are the recent rumors of Meche to the Angels for 9 years and $78M true?

  8. Pilots fan on November 23rd, 2006 8:52 am

    I have to believe Meche will get more than $8M per year, and more than 4 years as well. In this market that would be a steal for who “those people out there” think Meche is.

  9. msb on November 23rd, 2006 9:24 am

    I’m sure Gil also mentioned his Lovely Wife and Children. and maybe Ron Guidry.

    #3– the female can be just as irrational as the male.

    a non-irrational female, Gwen Knapp, has a nice column on the ridiculous money being tossed about, and speaking of ridiculous, check out the latest on Carlos Lee…

  10. Evan on November 23rd, 2006 9:40 am

    Isn’t Lilly better than Meche? I mean, aside from the punching his manager in the mouth angle?

    Yeah, Lilly is better. He strikes out about 20% more guys, walks about 15% fewer, and has a comparable (bad) homerun rate. Plus he’s left-handed.

    Meche throws harder. If that’s all it takes to get them equal contracts, something’s wrong with the world.

  11. JI on November 23rd, 2006 9:44 am

    More Perry:

    [i]Meche has an impressive arsenal — fastball that touches the mid-90s, tight overhand curve and enough off-speed stuff to get by — and he was finally healthy last season. Meche’s mechanics are inconsistent, but that’s a correctable flaw. With proper instruction, he’ll take a big step forward, and at age 28 he’s primed to do just that. Meche could be the steal of the winter.[/i]

  12. msb on November 23rd, 2006 10:06 am

    yup. he just needs proper instruction, ’cause no one has ever tried that before

  13. Evan on November 23rd, 2006 10:45 am

    Coaching! Of course, why didn’t we think of that?

    *smacks head*

    How could we be so stupid?

  14. msb on November 23rd, 2006 10:47 am

    quick, someone get BP on the phone….

  15. msb on November 23rd, 2006 10:56 am

    Gil Meche’s Thanksgiving List

    this header keeps reminding me of ‘Bob Goulet’s Cajun Christmas’

  16. Jimmie the Geek on November 23rd, 2006 11:44 am

    Oh SNAP!

    Sorry, this GeoCities site is currently unavailable.
    The GeoCities web site you were trying to view has temporarily exceeded its data transfer limit. Please try again later.

    I think USSM single-handedly shut her site down. Cool!


  17. Josh on November 23rd, 2006 11:51 am

    LOL, I think some years back I would exceed transfer allowances from Geocities after only a few MB. Wonder whether that’s changed now.

    I voted that I’m most thankful for having no Rick Rizzs Thanksgiving Special. It better be true, otherwise not only would my vote be misallocated, but I’d also have to curl up in the corner and weep.

  18. oNeiRiC232 on November 23rd, 2006 12:36 pm

    Not that I’m in love with Zito by any stretch, but I find it hilarious that ESPN rates Gil “Rain Man” Meche over 20+ game winner Barry Zito in their Top Ten Free Agent rankings.

  19. NBarnes on November 23rd, 2006 12:58 pm

    The bidding on Carlos Lee is crazy. His lifetime OBP is below 350. His lifetime SLG is below 500. He’s a bad defender.

    I’d read that after Moneyball, the market started valuing OBP closer to its real value. After Soriano, Aramis Ramirez, and now Carlos Lee, I’m wondering if that’s still the case. None of these guys are in the ultra-superstar catagory of walks+power that almost justifies contracts like Giambi’s or Manny Ramirez’s (or could justify J.D. Drew’s this year). What gives?

  20. Churchill on November 23rd, 2006 1:30 pm

    There’s simply too much money out there to be spent. That’s really it. Why restrain when otherwise the dough gets pocketed by ownership? They’ve given the GMs the go-ahead to spend on bigger names and clearly regardless of their true value.

    It’s either spend on Lee and Soriano, etc, or don’t spend, and don’t get better (thus, maybe the GM losing his job for lack of effort or guts) because I don’t see any Man-Rams or Giambis on the free agent market, and Ramirez’s availability via trade isn’t going to come cheap with regard to players Boston wants in return.

  21. Gomez on November 23rd, 2006 1:56 pm

    Don’t forget that these are long-term contracts. You’re spending now but you’re also spending later. You’re developing millions of dollars in dead payroll money.

    “Do something because you can,” is not necessarily good logic.

  22. Evan on November 23rd, 2006 2:14 pm

    I think GMs who spend on guys like Soriano honestly think they’re making a good deal.

    They’re wrong. They don’t think.

  23. Jeff Nye on November 23rd, 2006 2:15 pm

    If it were crazy spending on one-year contracts? We’d all think it bizarre, but wouldn’t really care all that much in the overall scheme of things.

    But these absurd, huge, multi-year contracts for players that don’t warrant them not only harm you in the current year, but handicap you in the pursuit of better players in stronger future free agent markets.

    It is the ultimate in short-sighted thinking.

  24. Mat on November 23rd, 2006 3:29 pm

    There’s simply too much money out there to be spent. That’s really it. Why restrain when otherwise the dough gets pocketed by ownership? They’ve given the GMs the go-ahead to spend on bigger names and clearly regardless of their true value.

    From casually following the NBA, this seems to be the exact description of how bad NBA GMs run their teams. They strive to get cap space, regardless of who will be available when they have that cap space, and then they spend money when they have cap space, regardless of the true talent available. So you can get good deals on free agents in years with a strong free agent class, and really terrible deals on free agents when the free agent class is weak.

    As others have mentioned, this would be a reasonable strategy if these were all one-year deals, but it just doesn’t seem reasonable to me to tie up your resources for four to eight(!) years on mediocre players.

  25. oNeiRiC232 on November 23rd, 2006 4:20 pm

    Open question:

    What does such an overflow of money mean, and what response would be in the best interests baseball, if any? Would expansion benefit the game at this juncture?

  26. 88fingerslukee on November 23rd, 2006 4:26 pm

    Dear USSM Readers,

    If you’d like to learn more about being a bad GM, please see my online tutorial.

    The website is


    Isiah Thomas

  27. dw on November 23rd, 2006 7:26 pm

    Howdy from the hinterlands of Alabama yet again.

    I’m thinking Meche will get 4/40 from the Cubs. Because, you know, the Cubs seem to be in a spending mood.

    And between the massive amount of cash being spent by teams and all the people telling me they went shopping for Christmas presents BEFORE Thanksgiving, I’m really thinking the economy is doing really well.

    And yet, the Pierre, Matthews Jr, and Soriano deals are going to make the Beltre and Sexson contracts look sensible. I mean, since when is Juan Pierre a $9M player?

  28. Tap House Dan on November 23rd, 2006 9:32 pm

    If that’s true, then what the hell are the M’s doing? Why is it so quiet? Rumor has it ownership has approved a payroll increase right? For what? If we’re out of Schmidt, Zito, Delucchi so far, what in the hell are we going to spend our money on? I’m flabbergasted. And I don’t think I’ve ever typed that word before in my life, so it MUST be real!

  29. Gomez on November 23rd, 2006 10:12 pm

    Keep in mind that FAs have the right to refuse offers. It’s likely the M’s are making good offers… and the FAs are just deciding not to sign with them.

    Well, either that or the Dodgers offered Schmidt 5/80 or something similarly insane. It’s likely Schmidt’s gonna get the same insane money everyone else is getting.

  30. greymstreet on November 23rd, 2006 10:28 pm

    I’d prefer we do little, suck it up this year, and go for next year’s class anyways

  31. 88fingerslukee on November 24th, 2006 6:53 am

    agreed. don’t do anything

  32. MickeyZ on November 24th, 2006 7:22 am

    Is it time to cash Ichiro in for prospect? Is he going to resign with us? If he did, would we have to give him a 10/200m contract? It doesn’t look like we’re going to contend next year, and interesting prospects would be a reason to look forward to the season.

  33. terry on November 24th, 2006 7:42 am

    #33: I dunno,,,,,,I envision great things for them after Hargrove is fired at the end of May….

  34. msb on November 24th, 2006 8:13 am

    #28– according to?

    not that it is unlikely, cartainly — an NL team, who’ve gotten to the post-season & who have already shown they are willing to spend silly-money this off-season …

  35. F-Rod on November 24th, 2006 9:05 am

    31-that kind of defeatest attitude is sickening in to hear in the offseason. I am all for dumping at the deadline if the team is out of it, but that is absolutely wrong at this time of year. With an increased payroll there is no reason that the M’s cant compete. All you have to do is get in the playoffs and get hot. With our payroll you should always be going for the playoffs at this time of year. Are prices going to suddenly drop next year, live in reality please.

  36. DMZ on November 24th, 2006 9:26 am

    No one’s arguing prices will drop. They’re arguing the quality of the product will be much better for your dollar.

  37. F-Rod on November 24th, 2006 9:34 am

    With re-signings, I wouldn’t expect much higher quality next year…you can’t just always answer with next year, next year, next year…..Play to win now always in the off-season and make moves in season in regards to punting…You don’t punt before the season has started

  38. deltwelve on November 24th, 2006 9:55 am

    Jarrod Washburn’s contract – the gift that keeps on giving.

    And in any discussions with the Mariners, Seattle’s decision last year to give Jarrod Washburn a four-year, $37 million contract will be front and center. Washburn hasn’t topped 11 victories in a season since 2002, and agents continuously bring up his deal as a reference point for negotiations.

    Larry O’Brien, the agent for Lilly, has had two conversations with Mariners officials the past couple of weeks and doesn’t mince words.

    “We just look at Washburn and what he signed for with the Mariners, and I’ll put Ted’s numbers up against them any day,” O’Brien said.


  39. eponymous coward on November 24th, 2006 9:57 am

    Who says the only way to win pennants is by signing overpriced free agents?

  40. 88fingerslukee on November 24th, 2006 10:18 am

    Who the hell wants Ted Lilly anyway?

  41. Evan on November 24th, 2006 10:24 am

    Anyone who thinks Meche is good should think Lilly is amazing.

    Except, of course, that thinking Meche is good demonstrates that you don’t have the capacity of rational thought, so all predictions about what else you might think go right out the window.

    On the upside, though, Lilly might punch Hargrove in the mouth.

  42. 88fingerslukee on November 24th, 2006 10:33 am

    On the upside, though, Lilly might punch Hargrove in the mouth.

    Now I would pay money for that.

  43. 88fingerslukee on November 24th, 2006 10:37 am

    Astros Closing in On Carlos Lee

    “Lee is listed at 6-foot-2 and 240 pounds and there have been questions about him being out of shape, but Gillick said his size isn’t a concern.

    “Lee is a heck of an athlete,” Gillick said.”

    Boy do I miss Pat Gillick

  44. schmicky on November 24th, 2006 11:02 am

    [speaking of nonsense]

  45. 88fingerslukee on November 24th, 2006 11:04 am

    It was a joke. I don’t miss Pat Gillick. nobody does.

  46. msb on November 24th, 2006 11:31 am

    just when you think it can’t get any worse– 6/$100 million for Lee??!

  47. Rusty on November 24th, 2006 1:35 pm

    Bwahaha… Will Carrol. Funny stuff.

  48. Newby on November 24th, 2006 8:43 pm

    35- Friend of a friend type of thing. info has been solid in the past.

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