Don Carman is in your house, autographing your things

Jeff · December 2, 2006 at 6:54 pm · Filed Under General baseball 

Slate has a cool story about former Phillies pitcher Don Carman answering his fan mail a decade-and-a-half later. It’s not what you think: he didn’t just procrastinate. Apparently the box of cards was misplaced while Carman was being traded, and he happened upon it again years after the fact.

There are amusing stories here — would you expect to get a signed card back now, years after 12-year-old you had sent it out with high hopes? — and one touching, sad one.

All of the tales bring back my bitterness at Ryne Sandberg, who kept the rookie card I sent him back in the 1980s. Maybe Ryno’s just waiting to clean out the garage before he returns that sucker.


26 Responses to “Don Carman is in your house, autographing your things”

  1. David J. Corcoran I on December 2nd, 2006 7:04 pm

    [stupid pre-reading-the-article comment]

  2. David J. Corcoran I on December 2nd, 2006 7:09 pm

    Now that I’ve read the article though, that’s pretty sweet

  3. DMZ on December 2nd, 2006 7:19 pm

    Don Carman’s list of canned responses to reporter questions is awesome, too.

  4. 88fingerslukee on December 2nd, 2006 7:29 pm

    That’s an awesome article. It makes me all that more interested in what Courco’s (adjusted for Canada) first comment was.

  5. David J. Corcoran I on December 2nd, 2006 7:31 pm

    It was: “Most of those people have probably moved though, so it’s a waste of time.”

    Which I still believe.

  6. Evan on December 2nd, 2006 7:33 pm

    Im in ur base killin ur d00ds.

    You broke one of the rules, Jeff. You sent Sandberg a valuable card.

  7. Evan on December 2nd, 2006 7:34 pm

    Even if most people didn’t get the responses (though how many people’s parents still live in the family home?), that he got to contant some of them makes it a worthwhile task.

    So it wasn’t a waste of time.

  8. David J. Corcoran I on December 2nd, 2006 7:36 pm

    This is a good point.

  9. marbledog on December 2nd, 2006 7:40 pm

    Thanks, Jeff – great story.

  10. David J. Corcoran I on December 2nd, 2006 7:59 pm

    I just wonder why some ex-major league piece of shit pitcher feels the need to boost his ego like this autographing baseballs for former little kids. Who gives a damn about little kids. Especially former little kids. They can all rot in heck.

  11. marbledog on December 2nd, 2006 8:03 pm

    Corco, seriously, time to go to the movies or something. Or take a couple showers.

  12. David J. Corcoran I on December 2nd, 2006 8:07 pm

    The theatre is too expensive. And I don’t like cold showers, and at 8 at the PM these shitty dorms are usually out of water which is hot in nature. Not to say that the water is attractive, it merely has a high temperature.

  13. Gomez on December 2nd, 2006 8:13 pm

    Thanks to that link, I just spent an hour and a half perusing the Baseball Almanac website. I totally forgot about Ibanez’s 6 hit game in 2004!

    Great story. I wonder how many ex-players would have bothered to do what Carman did. Speaks volumes.

  14. Deanna on December 2nd, 2006 8:14 pm

    Yeah, when this first surfaced a few weeks ago, I checked my card collection, and sure enough, I’ve got a whole ton of Don Carman cards. (I’m left-handed and I grew up in Philly in the 80’s.) I thought it’d be pretty funny to write to him now, but I’ve been too lazy.

  15. hub on December 2nd, 2006 8:18 pm

    We all need to write Willie. Try not to laugh when you scribble ‘You are my favorite ballplayer…’

  16. David J. Corcoran I on December 2nd, 2006 8:20 pm


  17. David J. Corcoran I on December 2nd, 2006 8:22 pm

    Tip of the day : Pregaming and USSM ing is a blissful combination.

  18. Roger on December 2nd, 2006 8:47 pm

    [int. locker room. A chalkboard has just been swung around.]

    A – B – S
    A Always B Be S Signing.

    [Carman points to poster displaying “Free Tickets to Next Feed” as contest prize.]

    Always be signing, Always be signing!

    Attention — Do I have your attention?
    Interest — Are you interested? I know you are, because it’s f+++ or walk–you autograph or you hit the bricks.
    Decision — Have you made your decision, to sign!
    And action.

    Get out there. You have the kids sending in, waiting to give you their rookie cards. A kid don’t send in a card unless he wants an autograph. They sitting out there, waiting to send you rare rookie cards! Are you going to take them?

    [Carman rests his hands on Jeff’s desk.]

    Are you man enough to take them?

    [Carman returns to front of the room. Corco smirks and mumbles under his breath. Carman sits at Corco’s desk.]

    You–Corco–what’s your problem?

    You’re such a hero, you sign so many autographs, what are you doing down here with such a bunch of bloggers?

    See this pen? See this pen?


    This pen has written more than your blog. I signed 250 autographs last year. How many did you sign?

    [Corco looks uncomfortable]

    You see, that’s who I am, and you’re nothing.

  19. Roger on December 2nd, 2006 8:54 pm

    Ichirolls are for signers only.

  20. David J. Corcoran I on December 2nd, 2006 9:01 pm

    iT just took me 4 tries to put my shoes on.

  21. Gomez on December 2nd, 2006 10:02 pm

    When I was your age, we got hammered AT the party, not before it.

  22. eponymous coward on December 2nd, 2006 10:16 pm

    Sohow much Corcoromance is planned for at this party?

  23. msb on December 2nd, 2006 10:21 pm

    anybody know how to install one of those ignition interlock devices? I think Corco might need one on the Corcomobile.

  24. eponymous coward on December 2nd, 2006 10:24 pm

    I don’t think he has to drive to the dorms or Greek Row.

  25. msb on December 2nd, 2006 10:29 pm

    ok, just don’t fall asleep in the road on the way over … it’s supposed to drop down to the 20s tonight.

  26. endonend on December 3rd, 2006 7:20 am

    I am glad to hear that I’m not the old kid to be screwed over by Ryno. He was my favorite player growing up — until he broke my heart by not returning the 8×10 photo (bought at the corner store of all places!) I sent him in the late 80s.

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