Don Carman is in your house, autographing your things
Slate has a cool story about former Phillies pitcher Don Carman answering his fan mail a decade-and-a-half later. It’s not what you think: he didn’t just procrastinate. Apparently the box of cards was misplaced while Carman was being traded, and he happened upon it again years after the fact.
There are amusing stories here — would you expect to get a signed card back now, years after 12-year-old you had sent it out with high hopes? — and one touching, sad one.
All of the tales bring back my bitterness at Ryne Sandberg, who kept the rookie card I sent him back in the 1980s. Maybe Ryno’s just waiting to clean out the garage before he returns that sucker.
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[stupid pre-reading-the-article comment]
Now that I’ve read the article though, that’s pretty sweet
Don Carman’s list of canned responses to reporter questions is awesome, too.
That’s an awesome article. It makes me all that more interested in what Courco’s (adjusted for Canada) first comment was.
It was: “Most of those people have probably moved though, so it’s a waste of time.”
Which I still believe.
Im in ur base killin ur d00ds.
You broke one of the rules, Jeff. You sent Sandberg a valuable card.
Even if most people didn’t get the responses (though how many people’s parents still live in the family home?), that he got to contant some of them makes it a worthwhile task.
So it wasn’t a waste of time.
This is a good point.
Thanks, Jeff – great story.
I just wonder why some ex-major league piece of shit pitcher feels the need to boost his ego like this autographing baseballs for former little kids. Who gives a damn about little kids. Especially former little kids. They can all rot in heck.
Corco, seriously, time to go to the movies or something. Or take a couple showers.
The theatre is too expensive. And I don’t like cold showers, and at 8 at the PM these shitty dorms are usually out of water which is hot in nature. Not to say that the water is attractive, it merely has a high temperature.
Thanks to that link, I just spent an hour and a half perusing the Baseball Almanac website. I totally forgot about Ibanez’s 6 hit game in 2004!
Great story. I wonder how many ex-players would have bothered to do what Carman did. Speaks volumes.
Yeah, when this first surfaced a few weeks ago, I checked my card collection, and sure enough, I’ve got a whole ton of Don Carman cards. (I’m left-handed and I grew up in Philly in the 80’s.) I thought it’d be pretty funny to write to him now, but I’ve been too lazy.
We all need to write Willie. Try not to laugh when you scribble ‘You are my favorite ballplayer…’
EYS! I AM GOING TO RIGHT WILLIB BLOOM QUIST RIGHT NOW!
Tip of the day : Pregaming and USSM ing is a blissful combination.
[int. locker room. A chalkboard has just been swung around.]
Carman
A – B – S
A Always B Be S Signing.
[Carman points to poster displaying “Free Tickets to Next Feed” as contest prize.]
Always be signing, Always be signing!
Attention — Do I have your attention?
Interest — Are you interested? I know you are, because it’s f+++ or walk–you autograph or you hit the bricks.
Decision — Have you made your decision, to sign!
And action.
Get out there. You have the kids sending in, waiting to give you their rookie cards. A kid don’t send in a card unless he wants an autograph. They sitting out there, waiting to send you rare rookie cards! Are you going to take them?
[Carman rests his hands on Jeff’s desk.]
Are you man enough to take them?
[Carman returns to front of the room. Corco smirks and mumbles under his breath. Carman sits at Corco’s desk.]
Carman
You–Corco–what’s your problem?
Corco
You’re such a hero, you sign so many autographs, what are you doing down here with such a bunch of bloggers?
Carman
See this pen? See this pen?
Corco
Yeah.
Carman
This pen has written more than your blog. I signed 250 autographs last year. How many did you sign?
[Corco looks uncomfortable]
Carman
You see, that’s who I am, and you’re nothing.
Ichirolls are for signers only.
iT just took me 4 tries to put my shoes on.
When I was your age, we got hammered AT the party, not before it.
Sohow much Corcoromance is planned for at this party?
anybody know how to install one of those ignition interlock devices? I think Corco might need one on the Corcomobile.
I don’t think he has to drive to the dorms or Greek Row.
ok, just don’t fall asleep in the road on the way over … it’s supposed to drop down to the 20s tonight.
I am glad to hear that I’m not the old kid to be screwed over by Ryno. He was my favorite player growing up — until he broke my heart by not returning the 8×10 photo (bought at the corner store of all places!) I sent him in the late 80s.