Bill Bavasi, Awesome Talker

Dave · July 14, 2007 at 7:35 am · Filed Under Mariners 

If you’ve been to either of the USSM events where Bill joined us and candidly and openly discussed the team, you know that he’s a pretty funny dude. But he’s generally pretty reserved in his commentary to the media – his tombstone will probably decline to give the year he was born because that information is on a need to know basis – and keeps a pretty low profile compared to some other general managers.

Not anymore. In responding to the ridiculous assertion by Marlins president David Samson that Ichiro’s contract was “the end of the world as we know it”, Bavasi said this:

“My mother always taught me that if the only thing you have to say is, ‘(Expletive) Dave Samson,’ then don’t say anything at all,” Bavasi said Thursday. “So I’m not going to say anything at all. Is my mother the greatest or what?”

That’s hilarious on about 34 different levels.


76 Responses to “Bill Bavasi, Awesome Talker”

  1. AD_ROY84 on July 14th, 2007 4:21 pm

    I would like to add Pete O’Brien to that list if I may.

  2. kenshabby on July 14th, 2007 4:23 pm

    Dangit, I’m leaving for the Safe in just a little while. Had I read about this earlier I would’ve made a large “(Expletive) Dave Samson” sign.

  3. gwangung on July 14th, 2007 4:31 pm

    No, no, no…you really should REMEMBER all those names…because if you don’t, you’re doomed to repeat them…

    Besides, don’t you WANT to have some REAL boogiemen to frighten your children with?

  4. zzyzx on July 14th, 2007 4:38 pm

    Bavasi is going a long way to winning everyone back, isn’t he?

  5. scott19 on July 14th, 2007 4:43 pm

    47: While we’re at it, we could always add a few more: Mesa, Davis (Russ, that is), Slocumb, Felder, O’Brien, Parrott, Everett…

  6. msb on July 14th, 2007 4:58 pm

    you know, I get cranky thinking back to Russ Davis, and then I remember him in the ‘Bad Dancer’ commercial, and I just have to smile.

  7. Karen on July 14th, 2007 4:59 pm

    #47 and #55. Well, one other Davis belongs there, too. No, not Alvin….Ben.

  8. pygmalion on July 14th, 2007 5:14 pm

    “Slocumb” sends shivers down my spine…

    I wonder if “Phelps” does the same to Yankee fans? Probably not – they have so much good history the bad stuff can be made into a joke. But until the day the Mariners win 27 or whatever World Series in 90 years, the name “Slocumb” will make me feel ill.

  9. joser on July 14th, 2007 5:44 pm

    Watching Randy Winn hit a grand slam in the Fox national game today, the announcers just had to remind us that the Giants obtained him from the Mariners for Torrealba and Foppert.

  10. scott19 on July 14th, 2007 5:45 pm

    57: Karen, you’re right…my short-term memory must be failing me!

    But while we’re on the topical spin of BAD Mariner catchers, Mike Olive…er, Miguel Olivo suddenly comes to mind!

  11. scott19 on July 14th, 2007 5:51 pm

    59: Also, when they mentioned that Little-O was having his worst season at the plate since 1991, I was just waiting for the Fox schmucks to take their traditional cheap jab at the M’s by telling everybody he was playing up here at the time.

    I’m surprised that they didn’t.

  12. lokiforever on July 14th, 2007 5:54 pm

    47…let’s not forget Aurilia

  13. scott19 on July 14th, 2007 5:57 pm

    62: Thought of him as well, but decided to grant him a slight bit o’ mercy based on the fact that at least wasn’t allowed to damage the lineup for a complete season.

  14. scott19 on July 14th, 2007 6:08 pm

    62: However, unlike Aurilia, it’s too bad that Spiezio wasn’t released in the same season as well.

  15. Jar on July 14th, 2007 6:30 pm

    Wow, Samson is clueless isn’t he?

    From the list of players with the 10 highest salaries, there is a total of 1 I might rather have then Ichiro, and not at $25,200,000.

  16. scott19 on July 14th, 2007 6:43 pm

    65: Gotta love the power of nepotism — it can actually land you a job with a QUALITY organization like the Florida Marlins! 🙂

  17. geofftoons on July 14th, 2007 6:50 pm

    I literally sprayed my coffee this morning when I read Bavasi’s quote in the TNT! Looks like Bavasi has Ichiro’s back too.

    I have to say, next to a Yogi Berra quote, Bavasi’s is the best I’ve ever read! Good Job Bill!

  18. planB on July 14th, 2007 10:32 pm

    Okay, that was extremely funny, but it was nothing like a Yogiism.

  19. bookbook on July 15th, 2007 5:58 am

    Yeah. I’m pretty sure we don’t want to get too high and mighty on the nepotism angle.

  20. msb on July 15th, 2007 8:35 am

    Dan LeBatard (who was the one interviewing Samson the other day, making um-hmm noises while Samson vented) has a Herald column today backing Samson, primarily because of the Marlin’s poor cousin position in baseball.

  21. joser on July 15th, 2007 9:28 am

    Loria wants Miami/Dade County/the State of Florida/the Tooth Fairy to build him a stadium and give him all the proceeds. He’s going to scream poverty until that happens. Giardi undermined that position by demonstrating you can win (and turn a profit) in spite of a low payroll, and got fired as a reward. Loria is pocketing the luxury tax payouts, and he should be happy with that (even if that’s not what they’re supposed to be used for) but there’s still public money he wants to get his hands on. The Marlins’ payroll this year (~$30M) may be double what it was last year, but it’s half what it was in ’05 and far lower than the ~$45M it was in ’04, ’03 (when they won the WS), or ’02. Their complaints would seem a little more credible if they at least looked like they were trying to keep up (but, that would take those luxury tax profits out of Loria’s pockets).

    Loria bought the Marlins in 2002 for $158M.
    Forbes magazine in April 2007 valued the club at $244M.

    Boo fricking hoo.

  22. AD_ROY84 on July 15th, 2007 11:19 am

    I believe Loria also made a pretty penny by selling the Expos to MLB when he bought the Marlins. He pulled the same crap in Montreal crying about a small market while comparable teams (Toronto) continued to sign Free Agents and put a competitive (if not always title winning) team on the field. He ruined baseball there and will ruin it in Florida as well. If Portland really wants a team so bad they should think twice before taking in the Marlins with Loria at the helm.

  23. bram on July 15th, 2007 12:32 pm

    Wow, lucky for Dan LeBatard the Miami Herald still insulates its writers from reader comments on its site. Should his employer get with the program and decide to join today’s digital conversation, perhaps he and the GM and owner he so transparently apologizes for, would be held accountable for their words.

    For a beat writer of a team that’s won the World Series twice in the last ten years to back up that GM’s team in criticizing a team, a city and a culture they clearly know little or nothing about isn’t just lazy, access-addicted journalism – as a reader it actually embarrasses me. Mr. “The Bastard,” an ESPN-franchisee, has been working long enough to know that Seattle is the very poster child for market conditions, or the perception thereof by athletes and their agents, precipitating the departure of stars. BEFORE championships are won.

    It’s always expensive to keep a champion together – it’s when agents and players have a lot of leverage. The Marlins are unique only in that they have been stingy and short-sighted enough to eviscerate a WS winner TWICE. As the saying goes – shame on them.

    Now that we finally were able to keep a star in town, it’s not our fault a notoriously venal and greedy owner and his propaganda-spewing GM have their panties in a bunch. They should try making honest money on software and video games instead of pissing and moaning about the price of talent.

    BTW, cf. Dave’s earlier post, Monsieur The Bastard is wrong about the Math, too.

    Next time Monsieur The Bastard decides to swallow his ankle, he might try picking on someone as lazy and stupid he is.

    Just, wow.

  24. Slippery Elmer on July 15th, 2007 8:03 pm

    LOL @ LeBatard becoming “The Bastard.” Elmer thinks “Palmeiro” is the term’s equivalent en Español.

  25. Scotts on July 15th, 2007 10:03 pm

    I have found Le Batard to be intermittently useful in the past, but this column surprises me for a couple of reasons, largely pointed out above. But there were two things that stuck out more than the rest:

    A-Rod and Andre Dawson won MVPs in last place. You need a team full of guys like that to be top-of-the-standings relevant, which is something the Mariners haven’t been for a long time.

    The M’s have the fifth best record in the majors, better than any NL team. Is Le Batard not aware of this?

    The 2003 Marlins payroll of $54 million doesn’t even buy you Royals pitcher Gil Meche today.

    Meche’s contract is not $55MM per year. This is a *really* annoying strawman; if anyone has the chance to call out people who use it, consider yourself implored.

  26. scott19 on July 15th, 2007 10:55 pm

    75: Love that LeBatard assertion that the M’s are “irrelevant” — isn’t that EXACTLY what his precious corporate-welfare-poster-child Marlins have been in, like, EVERY year besides the two in which they connived their way to the WS?

    Gee, I guess it must get a little boring if you’re a sports writer in that town during hurricane season when you’re sitting around waiting for the ‘Canes and Dolphins to start playing!

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