On the Moose and Coco

DMZ · August 18, 2007 at 2:44 pm · Filed Under Mariners 

It bothers me that we haven’t said anything about this since it happened, but I wanted to say:
– Red Sox fans who were (and are) outraged have every reason to be. If Ichiro’s knees were hurt in a collision with Stomper, the A’s mascot, there’d have been a run on torches and pitchforks within the hour, followed by a mass short-term migration for the bay by people in M’s gear.
– Bavasi & the M’s baseball side showed a lot of class in their immediate horror and concern.
– And yet, the organization hasn’t done anything we know about and didn’t even say good things.

If the groundskeepers clocked an opposing player with a rake and they went down with a concussion, it’d be just as horrible – we want the games to be between the teams, unaffected by the clumsiness of others on the field.

And there’s what’s worse: if the groundskeepers knocked into someone accidentally as part of their non-dancing duties, they’d at least be on the field for a reason. The Moose doesn’t have any legitimate baseball reason to be out there. If he’s going to be there, there should be a massive burden on him and his attendants to keep out of the way of the players and umpires, who should have absolute right of way.

If I ran the Mariners, I’d at least have made noises about looking into ways to prevent this possibility in the future, of examining that parasite-infested non-moose the routines to ensure player safety, and so on… but we haven’t. All we got was the shrug and the “accidents happen” speech.

It’s embarrassing for the team, and for us as fans of the team, to be associated with that. I hope at least that behind the scenes, they’re making sure that that kind of thing doesn’t happen again.


45 Responses to “On the Moose and Coco”

  1. _David_ on August 18th, 2007 2:57 pm

    I should hope they are making sure it never happen again 🙂

  2. cgmonk on August 18th, 2007 2:57 pm

    “I hope at least that behind the scenes, they’re making sure that that kind of thing happens again.”

    Wow, didn’t think DMZ was the type to support a hit on opposing players by their ATV riding mascots.

  3. _David_ on August 18th, 2007 2:58 pm

    happens…aw screw it.

  4. terry on August 18th, 2007 3:09 pm

    I’m thinking that the average pitchfork and torch toting Seattle suburbanite would be welcome fodder storming anything in the armpit of San Francisco that is the Hell’s Angels infested Oakland proper…

    BTW, if you’re holding both a pitchfork and a torch, what do you do with your blueberries & creme frappuccino?

  5. (Expletive) Dave Samson on August 18th, 2007 3:17 pm

    I say we drop off the Moose in South Boston with an Orangemen t-shirt on.

  6. Axtell on August 18th, 2007 3:24 pm

    I’m pretty sure he meant ‘this type of thing doesn’t happen again’, but that’s just me.

    How was the guy in the suit not fired immediately? It may have been an accident, but good lord, that type of reckless behavior has no place on the field. It looked as if he had no idea how to control that ATV he was on, and he’s out there running into players?

  7. Spanky on August 18th, 2007 3:24 pm

    How does the Moose and Seattle Mariners Baseball even get connected together? Let’s explore the connections.

    There are a lot of Moose in Seattle? No.
    There a lot of Moose Mariners? No.
    There are a lot of Moose in the Seattle Baseball organization? Mmmmm…maybe Bavasi is an antler-less moose?!?!?!

    I think it’s time to go to the real Seattle Mariners mascot…a crusty old sea captain who constantly smokes and drinks alcohol and mixes in a lot of colorful conversation laced with profanity!!!


  8. jephdood on August 18th, 2007 3:27 pm

    Bring back the cannon-firing ship in CF! (The..ahem..USS Mariner).

    That’s ‘mascot’ enough for me.

  9. Notor on August 18th, 2007 3:27 pm

    The Moose needs to stick to dancing and entertaining the kids, the ATV has always been a little much, and he especially shouldn’t be riding it around out there anywhere near the players.

  10. VaughnStreet on August 18th, 2007 3:28 pm

    Fire the moose replace him with Mike Blowers in a Rally Fry suit. Naw just fire the moose, and get us a goddamned 5th starter. Bavasi.

  11. Spanky on August 18th, 2007 3:30 pm

    Yes…the Moose and ATV’s just don’t mix. I’m sure everyone will recall the incident where the moose crashed into the wall in the Kingdome while being pulled behind an ATV on roller-blades. Ended up with a broken ankle!

  12. Spanky on August 18th, 2007 3:31 pm

    That should read… “…being pulled while on roller-blades behind an ATV.”

  13. Tek Jansen on August 18th, 2007 3:31 pm

    According to the M’s promo commercial, the Moose is from Canada. Has he provided a work visa? Is he an illegal? Lou Dobbs will take care of him in a violent and bloodthirsty fashion.

  14. Spanky on August 18th, 2007 3:34 pm

    Rather than looking North of the border for mascots…maybe we should look south. Anyone interested in the Mariner Chihuahua??? Or (if you want to keep the M-M thing going) the Mariner Margerita?

  15. Mike G. on August 18th, 2007 3:42 pm

    They should suspend the Moose until a full investigation can be carried out. In the interim the Gordon’s Fisherman could fill in.

  16. juneau_fan on August 18th, 2007 3:52 pm

    At the game on Tuesday, the Moose was signing autographs for ‘fans’. (Those poor, deluded, children.) He had to hold the baseball up way above his ‘eyeball’ and sort of off-center, in what I assume was his sight line through his costume head.

    And this person was driving an ATV around the track? It’s a wonder he doesn’t run down more people. Watch out, ball girls!

  17. (Expletive) Dave Samson on August 18th, 2007 3:54 pm

    Maybe we can hire Harry Canary to take on the Moose.

  18. fetish on August 18th, 2007 4:09 pm

    I’m looking at the calendar, yet it doesn’t say “April 1”.


  19. bergamot on August 18th, 2007 4:13 pm

    It’s ironic that the Moose wears his ersatz “helmet” in order to promote safety among kids. Personal protection is important, safe driving is for wimps!

    The Moose should be sent to a remedial driver’s education course. After that, keep him. If not, replace him with another Northwestish animal, like the Orca. Sure, the Orca has no legs, but neither does Jose Vidro.

  20. Jason Maxwell on August 18th, 2007 4:17 pm

    Mariners Margarita? This guy is looking for work:


  21. Sports on a Schtick on August 18th, 2007 4:22 pm

    I think Jeff at Lookout Landing appreciated the mascot attack.

  22. JLC on August 18th, 2007 4:29 pm

    At least it wasn’t Seattle fans beating up our own mascot.

    New York Yankees:

    Dandy — a large pinstriped bird, named for the song “Yankee Doodle Dandy,” portrayed by a high school student in 1980 but was beaten up by fans who didn’t want a mascot, and quit, leading to the elimination of the character

  23. joser on August 18th, 2007 4:39 pm

    From that “non-moose” post

    21. Eyesight far exceeds normal moose acuity

    Evidently not.

    Mariners Margarita
    Well, it would give them another reason to play “Tequila” over the sound system. Though that may confuse fans into thinking they’re at a Husky football game and start doing the (inapporpriate) Wave even more frequently.

    Though I would love it if the Mosse rode a slide into a giant Mariners Margarita every time the team hit a home run. It still bums me that the Brewer’s mascot doesn’t do that anymore (and yet they left the slide up, but removed the giant stein of beer, as if to taunt everyone).

  24. Joe on August 18th, 2007 4:44 pm

    Seattle fans wouldn’t beat up anybody’s mascot. They’d leave in a funk and slash his tires, or sign him up for a lot of junk mail, or some other indirectly violent non-confrontational passive-agressive tactic.

  25. Lauren, token chick on August 18th, 2007 4:52 pm

    I think it’s time to go to the real Seattle Mariners mascot…a crusty old sea captain who constantly smokes and drinks alcohol and mixes in a lot of colorful conversation laced with profanity!!!

    Amen, my brother. A-fucking-men.

  26. msb on August 18th, 2007 4:58 pm

    the statement was phrased in such a way (“No punishment is planned against the Moose”) that, at the time, I wondered if ‘the moose’ was safe, but that the guy inside the moose might pay for it

  27. joser on August 18th, 2007 4:59 pm

    Perhaps when Francona retires, he can be that crusty old captain:

    Terry Francona: “I got enough to think about – left-handers, right-handers – let alone a fucking moose on a fucking motorcycle.”

    No word on whether he smokes (or chews) or drinks, but I’m sure he would if they came free with the job.

  28. JLC on August 18th, 2007 5:03 pm

    The whole incident does kind of argue in favor of getting rid of a “real” mascot and using a screen-only version at the game. I hate mascots anyway.

  29. joser on August 18th, 2007 5:18 pm

    While the game is on the mascot shouldn’t get any closer to the field than the top of the dugout (and even that is pushing it). We really don’t need the dancing groundskeepers either (or, for that matter, the stupid hydro race or any of the other inter-inning crap). Honestly, are we so desperate for stimulation that people will stop showing up for games if they have to entertain themselves for two minutes between innings?

  30. scott19 on August 18th, 2007 5:20 pm

    19: On that note, I suppose they could ask the Canucks’ management if they could rent the services of Fin the Orca for the summertime. 🙂

  31. scott19 on August 18th, 2007 5:27 pm

    29: Amen to that, bro! The one thing that annoys me more than anything else about the so-called “casual” fans is that they make more freaking noise when the hydro races or hat tricks are on than they do when they SHOULD be cheering! >:(

  32. LA M's Fan on August 18th, 2007 5:37 pm

    I’m starting to think we should start worrying about catching the Red Sox for the Wild Card soon. Sheesh.

  33. gwangung on August 18th, 2007 5:49 pm

    Meh. Never complain about the “casual fan” and their like for hydroplane races. They make it possible for this club to be a high payroll team.

    That said, the guy in Moose suit shoulda been fired. Freakin’ stupid, that’s what it was…

  34. JLC on August 18th, 2007 5:58 pm

    33- I absolutely agree, with both parts.

  35. hub on August 18th, 2007 6:01 pm

    I like the Moose. I like the Hydro races. I like Hat-Trick. Each help promote baseball to the next generation. Often the memories of a child going to their first game is NOT, ‘Ya…and then Vidro grounded into TWO double-plays, the hack!’. Rather, its often about:

    ‘And then the Moose came and took my hat!’
    ‘Uncle Jeffrey let me eat the biggest pile of fries I’ve ever seen.’
    ‘I guessed where the ball was! And daddy got it wrong! (snicker)’

    Am I defending the actions of the Moose-Coco fiasco (albeit accidental)? No. But to eliminate everything outside of ‘guy throws ball, guy hits ball’, is taking a lot away from the kids. Again, baseball is more than stats. More than ‘win/lose’. Rather, its an atmosphere. A magical place where children come to see heroes; some on the field…and some who happen to wear antlers.

    My own niece wants to be the Moose when she grows up. She loves baseball. Cheers for the M’s. She learns more about the game each day. But ask her who her favorite player is? She squints her eyes closed, and shouts “Moose!”. It gives me goosebumps everytime I see her face light up when the Moose comes to our section. Her grin radiates what is truly great about this game. Family. An Ichiro double is nice; JJ strikeout too. Both pale in comparison to a little girl walking through the front gate at 1st and Edgar, entering another land known simply as ‘Safeco’. And in the end, when I’m an old man sitting in a recliner chair…that smile is what I will choose to remember most.

  36. DMZ on August 18th, 2007 6:05 pm

    No one’s arguing for the elimination of everything that’s not part of the game.

  37. scott19 on August 18th, 2007 6:11 pm

    Guess I was venting my frustration on the extra features just a bit but…damn, that was a GREAT piece of writing just now, Hub! 🙂

  38. Karen on August 18th, 2007 7:27 pm

    #7. How does the Moose and Seattle Mariners Baseball even get connected together? Let’s explore the connections.
    There are a lot of Moose in Seattle? No.
    There a lot of Moose Mariners? No.
    There are a lot of Moose in the Seattle Baseball organization? Mmmmm…maybe Bavasi is an antler-less moose?!

    They thought they were getting Mike Mussina?

  39. smb on August 18th, 2007 7:55 pm

    I’ll chime in as someone who used to get minimum wage as a teenager to ‘escort’ “teh Moose!1!!111!!” around first the Kingdome and then Safeco during games and at paid appearances, and also as someone who has actually put the costume on before. Speaking of points, I don’t really have one, but here’s some thoughts anyway.

    Being the Moose is a tougher job than you’d think. It’s approximately 1000 degress Fahrenheit in that suit, it stinks to high Hell, it’s pretty heavy (like wearing one of those comical “fat suits”, and you can’t see anything below you for about three feet in front of you because the geometry of the head eliminates your ability to look down and severely impedes your field of vision. Kids also like to grab at the costume, punch, kick, and just generally act like the bad children their parents allow them to be. Once, while escorting the Moose during a game at the Safe, I took evasive action to move a small child who was about to get walked right over by the Moose because he was right at his feet and invisible to the costume-wearer. The kid’s dad would have KICKED MY ASS if I hadn’t fled. Again, no real point, just an anecdote to show that the gig isn’t as easy as it may seem.

    And 35? For every one little kid who’s delighted by the Moose’s appearance in their immediate vicinity, there’s another who screams and cries in abject terror. Just sayin’…

    As for the ATV madness, remember when the Moose used to get pulled behind it on roller blades in the Kingdome? The guy who was the Moose (three Moose-guys ago now, I believe) broke his ankle once after crashing into the wall, and sustained several other injuries in the lifespan of that particularly stupid stunt. In other words, the ATV antics have been rife with collateral damage since they began. I think it’s time to retire the motorized stunts, for the safety and well-being of everyone.

  40. flippy on August 18th, 2007 10:25 pm

    This is simply part of the homefield advantage. It’s along the lines of bringing out extra slippery footballs during Dallas Cowboy playoff games (which they made a rule to remedy that particular situation this year.)

  41. Gomez on August 19th, 2007 12:06 am

    Hey, at least our mascot isn’t one of the ZOOperstars. Ask Jeff Sullivan about that- oh wait, you were there.

  42. WardP on August 19th, 2007 10:27 am

    To paraphrase Larry Stone..

    Where’s Larry the Latte when you really need him?

  43. frankb. on August 19th, 2007 11:34 am

    35- Well said. I can talk with my guys about baseball subtleties now, but it wasn’t always so. The Moose, the hat trick, and the hydroplane races were the highlight of the day on some of our trips.
    It’d be terrible if the Moose ran over anybody. Well, except A-Rod. Then they probably wouldn’t get anybody to believe it was an accident. I hope they can make sure that Moose actions don’t hurt anyone.

  44. PullmansFinest on August 19th, 2007 4:12 pm

    This wasted moments of my life that I’ll never get back.

  45. joser on August 19th, 2007 6:41 pm

    No one’s arguing for the elimination of everything that’s not part of the game.

    Well, actually I think I was. But I’m not sure how serious I was, and nobody listens to me anyway.

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