Car shopping

DMZ · January 9, 2008 at 7:59 am · Filed Under Mariners 

Let’s say I need a car. My commute’s short, so I take the bus or bike to work as much as I can, but in the winter I frequently need to drive in, and then for errands and whatnot. If I made a list of my needs, it’d be “cheap, runs forever, enough headroom, ridiculous gas mileage, safe”.

Off the top of my head, I’d probably look at the Honda Fit, the Nissan Versa, and a Toyota Prius. They would to different degrees fill the need I’m looking for.

But wait. A Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder calls. I’ve never owned an exotic sports car. It gets ridiculous gas mileage, in a different way of course, it’s safe because it’s so uncomfortable and hard to drive it would never leave the driveway except on sunny weekends for leisurely day trips, it has enough head room, in a sense… and it’s only a bit over $200,000. And insuring it is possible, so that’s good, and I won’t have to put up with it for too long because I’ll wreck it or it’ll explode before a couple years have passed.

All I’d have to do is sell my house and all the stuff in it to live in the cheapest apartment I could find with nothing in it. And I’d have to find a new wife.

No problem, though, right? I’m sure there’s a decent apartment out there waiting for me that only costs $1, because there are more apartments than houses, and the market for houses isn’t that bad anyway. And what’s the total population of women out there — there’s a huge number of candidates. And I didn’t need all that stuff in the house anyway. And if there isn’t a $1 apartment, I’ll live in the car. No problem.

You may think I’m crazy to give up all that and go to all this trouble to get myself something so ridiculously overpriced, but look here:
– Five-liter V10 engine
– 520 horsepower
– 0-60 in negative two seconds
– fully retractable soft-top roof that I’ll never use because I’m in Seattle

The market price for that is over $200,000. If it’s that highly valued, it has to be awesome. Therefore buying one has to be a good move.


122 Responses to “Car shopping”

  1. Jeff Nye on January 9th, 2008 4:30 pm

    Graham wins.

  2. galaxieboi on January 9th, 2008 4:31 pm

    Bravo, Graham. Bravo.

    WFB and My Little Pony. Love it.

  3. MyOhMy on January 9th, 2008 4:32 pm

    How many days until “Pitchers & Catchers” report? That’s not negative … in fact, it always puts a grin on my face to hear that phrase.

  4. Dan W on January 9th, 2008 4:45 pm

    OK, here is my anti-negativity post:

    I’m all about being positive! And I’m in favor of a trade for Bedard! I believe he will help the team improve more than Adam Jones will, at least in the next 2 years. He’s a really, really good pitcher who strikes out alot of guys and goes pretty deep into games. He’s relatively young and cheap. He’s a dominant lefty pitching in Safeco field for Chrisakes! And his numbers are better against RHBs than LHBs. We can get on our feet with confidence with 2 strikes in those huge ABs against Guerrero, Rodriguez, and Ortiz in September (and maybe even OCTOBER!)

    I am not in favor of chucking in the towel on the next season. I really, really enjoyed the 07 season up until you know when, and am not convinced they were merely playing over their heads till then. I want more of that. They should be playing to win next year, and every year thereafter.

    Go M’s. Go Bavasi. Bring Bedard home. Make us lucky to be complaining about having one of the top pitchers in the game on our team!

    There – I feel much better.

  5. Dave on January 9th, 2008 4:49 pm

    The power of positive thinking apparently leads to terrible analysis.

  6. et_blankenship on January 9th, 2008 4:55 pm

    “How many days until “Pitchers & Catchers” report? That’s not negative … in fact, it always puts a grin on my face to hear that phrase.”

    What if you changed it to, “How many days until Horatio reports?” Not so smiley now, are ya? Seriously though, pitchers and catchers report on Valentine’s Day this year . . . which, unfortunately, still can’t spare us from shopping for cheesy Hallmark cards.

  7. SpokaneMsFan on January 9th, 2008 4:56 pm

    Graham, that was freaking awesome. Oh and to DC Mariner fan I’m sure if you call tech support they can fix your computer so it doesn’t force you to come to this site whenever you turn it on. That way when it does “get old” you aren’t forced to subject yourself to it as it must be doing now.

  8. Dan W on January 9th, 2008 5:00 pm

    I vow to stay positive even under withering author criticism and snarky comments.

  9. MyOhMy on January 9th, 2008 5:06 pm

    106 – That did wipe the grin off my face … although your posting made me LOL so I guess it put the grin back on.

  10. HamNasty on January 9th, 2008 5:10 pm

    This is why I drive a truck… all this confusion and you can’t even throw a cooler of beer in the back.

    Graham, I would copy write that idea asap!

  11. terry on January 9th, 2008 7:03 pm

    And if you don’t think it’s easier to get a replacement-level wife with a lamborghini, I just don’t know what to say to you.

    It should be no easier to get a replacement level wife with a lamborghini than it would be with a six pack of warm Old Milwaukee in cans a pawn shop cubic zirconium, and a 50% off coupon to “Tats and ‘Tudes”….

  12. Wilder83 on January 9th, 2008 8:36 pm

    Some of these comments remind me of when people say to me, “why are you so negative?”

    It’s not about being negative, it’s about being realistic.

    Bedard is not a $200,000 Lambo, Johan Santana is. Bedard is more like the Audi R8 you need to take to the shop every 6 months to get repaired. When the car is running properly, you don’t find anything much better. But after two years of frustration of having the vehicle in and out of the shop, you trade it in for something more dependable.

    Unfortunately, dependability is becoming increasingly expensive and it is worth risking living through two years of frustration in hope you get the performance you are looking for.

    As much as I like Jones, isn’t a Bedard/Silva combo give an 88-win team the boost to make the playoffs over Weaver/HoRam? I know Guillen’s production is gone, and so would Jones’s, but Wlad is a sufficient replacement for the time being as long as Sexson and Lopez can pick up the slack. Basically, we get the Audi R8 (Bedard) with a couple of Accords (Wlad/Silva) to replace the Acura TL (Guillen) and a couple of Pintos (Weaver/HoRam).

  13. Dobbs on January 9th, 2008 10:39 pm

    But you could always do some research and buy a Tesla. Half the price of your Spyder, 0-60 in less than 4 seconds, no emissions and gas-mileage equivalent of 230 MPG.

    Sure the batteries die after 10 years or whatever, but boy does it run well for those first 10 years.

  14. Maury Brown on January 9th, 2008 10:46 pm

    I agree with DMZ. Not every club has the resources or is in a position to purchase a Lamborghini, or a Hummer, or some other extremely expensive car.

    Oh, but the Mariners can. Seriously. One of the most profitable clubs in MLB.

    Now, whether it’s worth getting rid of Jones for Bedard… Mariners need pitching, but I don’t know if it’s worth coughing up that much. As Elvis said, “A little more cash, less attitude.”

  15. scareduck on January 9th, 2008 10:51 pm


    Depending on how amoral you are, it’s still VORP.

  16. Marcel on January 9th, 2008 11:06 pm

    Man, anyone who thinks that this is negative has obviously never been to a Red Sox blog before. Everything I see here is well thought out and objective. It’s not like it’s mindless bashing of the Mariners FO… even though it seems like they certainly would deserve it at times.

    FWIW, I don’t see Bedard as any more than maybe the 10th best pitcher in the AL next year (and that’s not counting the possibly excellent rookie seasons of Joba, Buccholz, etc….) ZiPS is projecting Jones to be the Ms third best hitter and has him as a very good defender in the corners. Obviously, projections aren’t perfect but it’s hard to justify giving up cheap, defensively sound player with a potential impact bat that you control for at least 5 more years (not sure of his total service time) for a 28 year old pitcher that doesn’t have a long track record of dominance and has stated that he fully intends to not sign a contract extension wherever he winds up and to test free agency. You could liken the Mariners trading for Bedard to the situation that the Twins are in. They seem to have deluded themselves into thinking that keeping Santana would make them competitive. Both teams have several areas that need addressing and one starting pitcher, no matter how good, isn’t going to solve all of their ills.

  17. hoser on January 9th, 2008 11:48 pm

    But what if it’s not really your money?
    And you lose your job if you don’t go really fast on your next trip.
    And you may not be able to find another comparable job?

  18. JMHawkins on January 10th, 2008 1:46 am

    Chick dig the Lamborghini.

    They also dig you not living in your parent’s basement though. Sigh. There’s always a catch.

  19. vj on January 10th, 2008 7:36 am

    In other news, Indian car manufacturer Tata Motors today introduced a replacement level vehicle:

  20. pumpkinhead on January 10th, 2008 8:45 am

    I’m guessing Bedard is the Lamborghini?

    Heh, or maybe it’s just the mindset of the organization in general. I could see either.

  21. MR. BASEBALL on January 10th, 2008 12:34 pm

    Why all the fuss? Simply buy a vehicle with grit and everyday will seem like Christmas!

  22. kenshabby on January 11th, 2008 12:33 pm

    Living in a car is not as fun as it sounds. Several years ago my girlfriend kicked me out of the apartment for a few days and I lived in my ’87 Subaru GL with a leaky roof for that span. Sleeping wasn’t easy, and boy did I ever in the morning!

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.