Ichiro, Still Hilarious
Dave · February 20, 2008 at 8:29 pm · Filed Under Mariners
From Baker’s blog:
“If the other corner outfielders have too much speed and too much ability and try to do too much, it’s hard for me,” he said.
This isn’t quite “If I ever saw myself saying I’m excited going to Cleveland, I’d punch myself in the face, because I’m lying” good, but it’s close.
I heard the Ichiro comments on the radio and it sounded like he was talking bad about Guillen, where Guillen was trying to make the plays that Ichiro should have made.
Pffew! Luckily Wilkerson and Ibanez are just below the excessive speed and ability thresholds.
The “other” corner outfielders? Let’s see, we have Raul in the left corner outfield, and Wilkerson in the right corner outfield, and Ichiro in the center corner outfield…
I can’t wait until Ichiro is 45 and a pitcher.
Well boy oh boy Ichiro, you’re just in luck.
Maybe we have been looking at this the wrong way. We know that Bavasi loves to cater to his players’ needs, good examples being trading Broussard within the division, and never going to arbitration with anyone. Maybe, just maybe, he traded Adam Jones and signed Wilkerson so Ichiro can have the outfield all to himself. In that sense, this makes Bavasi look like a genius.
Well, now it’s totally clear as to why Ibanez is still haplessly chasing after anything hit into LF.
Wow that made me laugh. it’s clever on so many levels…
Will the 2008 Mariners be the first team to utilize the defensive positioning of LF – hugging the line; RF – hugging the line; Ichiro in straight away center???
Cue up the montage of Tanner Boyle snatching up everything in The Bad News Bears.
I-CHI
gotta love the pictures, as well.
Shannon Drayer also blogged in on the Annual Ichi Address.
The “other†corner outfielders?
Sure. From Ichiro’s perspective, the entire outfield is one big corner. And he’s fielding it. There just are some other guys out there who get in the way sometimes, or sometimes he lets catch the ball.
I honestly think Ichiro may have the driest, wackiest sense of humor in baseball. I hope there’s somebody back in Japan he shares this stuff with, because in these interviews I think he’s operating on a completely different plane, mostly saying things just to amuse himself.
As reported by Drayer, Ichiro:
Some of the things that I usually have as goals going into seasons are, during the 162 games making the fans say “Wow, I really enjoyed watching ichiro that game.†Or even though the team lost I still feel fulfilled getting to watch the players in that game. If I can somehow can get the fans to feel that way it will make me very happy.
That is exactly why I enjoy baseball, win or lose.
There was more. Ichiro proves how much smarter he is then half the league:
I love Ichiro. I hope he never shuts up.
If I ever say that Ichiro is not awesome, I’d punch myself in the face, because I’d be lying.
I, too, hope to adopt a playoffs or bust attitude about the ‘08 season. I’m also voting for Dennis Kucinich and putting 10k down on the Dolphins to win next year’s Super Bowl. It’s the mature thing to do.
Can we start calling Ichiro, “sensei” yet? He’s clearly the wisest person in the entire organization, player or no.
Well, except for the part about liking that “playoffs carrot.” Someone should tell him that the thing about the carrot is that the mule never actually gets it, it just keeps plodding along, ignorant to the fact that it has been grossly outsmarted and will have neither carrot, nor cake, nor carrot cake, anytime in the immediate future.
Not to say I don’t appreciate the desire to win and the belief that maybe we have a marginal shot at the playoffs, of course.
Did anyone else get the Mariners spam yesterday with quotes about Bedard from several people inside and outside the team?
Ichiro’s quote was:
How about the quote from Mel when asked about the rotation, that was almost as funny, but for totally opposite reasons, “We have five number ones.”
Great quotes to start a gray Thursday…love to laugh out loud at work.
Go Ms!
And Ichiro’s concluding comment, after he said:
“In watching Wilkerson play I think that he is not that kind of outfielder so personally I am happy about that.”
Tom Singer on mlb.com:
“Ichiro checked into camp late Tuesday afternoon, underwent the prerequisite physical and was in the batting cage by 5:30. He showed up Wednesday looking — “My body fat went up,” he deadpanned, “oh-point-oh-seven percent” — and feeling splendid.”
and Jim Street mentions this year’s commercials
Pretty sure the literal translation is, “These other scrubs make me look good.”
19. I think we have two aces and three #2’s.
Heh, in poker terms, a boat, crap over aces.
Ichiro’s talents are not limited to the baseball diamond. He is probably one of the few sports stars alive who could pull off wearing sandals like these.
ZOMG, that is terrible. I have to refute your declaration that he could pull that off. He’s clearly not. He looks like he should be wearing a Hello Kitty backpack.
I’ve recently discovered that Peoria is very close to a town called Suprise, which is where my wife’s grandparents have a winter home. Yessssss…
galaxieboi – Surprise is the host city for the Rangers and Royals spring training. So, I’d suggest you go check that out first. It’ll make the Mariners look a lot better.
sandals seem popular among outfielders these days. See:
Link
Thanks, Carson. I probably won’t make this year (we’re moving in the next couple months) but I’m excited for next winter.
Given Ichiro, he may well normally wear a Hello Kitty backpack with that.
nah, Ichiro probably would wear a Badtz Maru one.
if you are at the Mariners/Padres complex, head due west on Bell and you get to Surprise in no time. Provided the traffic is actually moving.
Ichiro’s fashion choices are clearly an example of Postmodern Kitsch. Donning sandals, a White muscle shirt, rolled up jeans, or even a Hello Kitty backpack is Ichiro’s ingenious way of using “bad taste” to mock traditional ideas about what is fashionable and even how a (macho) baseball player should dress and act.
Either that, or it was laundry day for Ichiro and he had nothing better to wear.
Ichi, last year
I don’t see what all the fashion criticism is about. Ichiro’s got more fashion sense (and budget) than I’ll ever have.
I’m not really sure what he’s doing wearing the sandals. Those are indoor/bathroom slippers, not outdoor sandals.
The USSM community’s variety of expertise knows no bounds.
Are you sure those aren’t salt water sandals? They almost look like they could use a hollow heel with a goldfish in it.
As for ManRam, he may try to take the field in those things. Manny being Manny and all.
hey, it makes a change from the flipflops worn all winter by students on campus ….
The crossing straps made of what looks like white pleather makes them look exactly what I wore in my hotel a couple weeks ago.
Here’s the thing about those rolled up jeans. I’m no athelete, but I’m roughly the same height and weight as Ichiro; I’d bet his inseam and waist measurements are a little less, but not a lot. And I have no trouble finding jeans that fit. The ones he’s wearing must be something like 30″ waist and 40″ inseam. You don’t find those off the rack. In other words, that’s not “I can’t be bothered to find a tailor” or “man, I wish I could find pants that fit me” — that’s “this is a look.” I’m not sure the my-mom-bought-these-because-I’m-14-and-having-a-growth-spurt style is going to catch on, and there are probably very few people beyond Ichiro (and 14 year old boys) who would even attempt it, but it’s clearly something he carefully and fully thought out.
Can we start calling Ichiro, “sensei†yet? He’s clearly the wisest person in the entire organization, player or no.
He’s way beyond wise. He’s absofucking Yoda. Ichiro is the sound of one hand clapping. He’s what your face looked like before your parents were born. When a tree falls in the forest with no one there to hear it, Ichiro does.
Rolling up the leg to show the inseam is a Japanese tradition that started with “Red-line” Levi’s. The Japanese pay lots of money to get Jeans made by an American company during WWII. Those jeans have a white inseam with a red stripe going all the way down it. The “red-line” is a status symbol that is both odd (wear what they were when they bombed us) and expensive (worn and faded pairs go for $100’s and good condition can sell for over $1000.) It may be that rolling them up was simply because average production inseam from Levi’s during that time-frame was a longer measurement than the average of Japanese wearers today, but showing off the red-line has been a fashion ‘do’ in Japan for decades.
It may be a Japanese tradition, but I’m pretty sure oversized hand-me-downs caused its appearance around the Gold Rush years of the 19th century. I think it started with poverty here, not so much with fashion.
I know you aren’t hypothesizing that the average Japanese person was too short for American Levi’s…next you will be saying Ichiro’s jock is oversized just as a fashion statement!
I look forward to this page coming up as the number one hit when googling for “Ichiro’s oversized jock”
Just sharing the ideas that I’ve heard on the subject. Not my hypothesis, but rather a guess I’ve previously heard at how the tradition started. Hand-me-downs may seem to be a link, but for the past several decades the reason in Japan for folding the cuff of the pant-leg is to show that you have Red-Lines. It’s a status symbol there, like a Rolex, Cartier or Patek Philippe watch in the States.
Rolled-up cuffs on dark jeans is super high fashion, not just in Japan but in Paris, Milan, Beverley Hills, St. Tropez, anywhere the elite gather in high-end boutiques. Those jeans probably cost $1,200. You can’t buy clothes like this in Seattle. Y’all are rubes!
Steve T,
au contraire, I know that it is considered “high fashion” in some circles, as are tight jeans with appliqués and carrying your dog in a purse. Where is Ichiro’s purse-dog? Keep that shit outta Seattle!
Wishhiker, I appreciated your history lesson…no doubt what you say is true. I remember the guys with fifth wheels who would park at the grocery store on the weekends and buy Levi’s from Americans way back in the ’80s.
I think the Zen of Ichiro is probably the one topic that brightens everybody’s day, if the comments here are any indication.
Thanks, you guys, after reading some of the dullness and/or sensationalism on some other team blogs today, this was pretty refreshing and amusing.
The appliqué thing is already six or seven years out of date among the avant mode. And you definitely can buy $1K+ jeans in Seattle. I laughed out loud when I saw the tag, but there they were. (And I say that as a straight guy who owns more than one pair of Prada shoes.) Naturally, they’re from Japan. (But hey, they’re hand made on vintage machinery from organic denim by craftsmen in Okayama, you think that’s cheap?)
Back in the 80s I recall talking to Germans who were avidly buying ordinary Levis in the states to take back to Germany, where they cost three or four times as much — making them status symbols. It’s all about novelty and scarcity. Any junky bit of clothing, no matter how prole, can become haute if it’s rare and/or worn by the right people (cf: Ugg boots)
Re: # 48: Back in the 80s I recall talking to Germans who were avidly buying ordinary Levis in the states to take back to Germany…
W/R/T: When the Russians were in Seattle for the Goodwill Games, a pair of levis could get you some snazzy CCCP stuff.
So he’s The Nothing? Neverending Story makes so much more sense now.
Bah. Us greasers have been folding the bottoms of our Levi’s up for 60 years.
Yes! I got myself a dark grey t-shirt that has ‘CCCP’ across the front in red that way.
Yeah, I should edit that I’n not even remotely 60. I speak of my forebearers.
Anywho, nice post Dave. Hope you’re feelin’ better.
The appliqués on jeans thing goes back at least as far as the B-52s’ song “Quiche Lorraine.” Now I’m going to pretend I didn’t know that or offer it up as fact in a public space.
Why do people want to wear clothes that say CCCP on them? Are they people who are nostalgic about the good old days of the Soviet Union, or are they people who don’t know what the letters stand for? I don’t get it.
It has very little to do with idolising the Soviet Union itself I’m sure. It’s the same reason why millions of people all over the world walk around in NYY caps without ever having watched a game of baseball. If they knew the true horror of the evil empire they wouldn’t be donning its logos.
I can’t speak for all people but as a cold war veteran, USN 1983-1988, I wear a Soviet era foul weather hat complete with the hammer and sickle when I snowboard. I received this from a Soviet Sailor in exchange for one of my “Dixie Cup” hats. I don’t wear it to honor the Soviet Union but to honor my former adversary.
Ichiro is amazing. How is he a superstar? How does he hit home runs? The guy is skinnier than me, and I’m pretty skinny.
Usually teams have one scrubby guy. We have The Igniter. The local hero. People like him because he looks like them, he doesn’t have the physical talent to be a superstar, but he tries hard. Like if we tried hard, he could be us.
But we also have Ichiro, whose build is that of WillieBallgame’s, and yet he is one of the top players in the game. That’s why we all love him.
Why do people want to wear clothes that say CCCP on them? Are they people who are nostalgic about the good old days of the Soviet Union, or are they people who don’t know what the letters stand for? I don’t get it.
(Surely there must be other possible reasons than these two.)
To some people clothes that say such things as HAVANA SUGAR KINGS, WINSTON-SALEM WARTHOGS, and SACRAMENTO RIVER CATS (and CCCP)are cool.
Doesn’t the CCCP thing at least somewhat go back to joser’s idea about things being cool if they’re rare?
Ichiro is rare, and he’s cool.
Ichiro is defintely Joe Cool, but what can compare to the chic style embodied by Willie and his pink pony!
Pony, DAMMIT!
With those two plodders beside him–and the willingness of the Keystoners to yield–look for Ichiro to shatter the AL season record for putouts by an OF (512) and perhaps eclipse the MLB record (547).
(BTW, AL stands for American League; it’s not a nickname for Alfred, Albert, etc.)
milquetoast:
Actually, Will-Blo seems to be pretty bulked up, for not having a lot of height, relative to the average Major Leaguer. Ichiro is wiry-strong, but far from built.
Ichiro-related hilarity from ST:
“After Jose Vidro’s bat broke during batting practice and the barrel stuck into the ground near first base, it quickly became a target. Bench coach John McLaren urged Ichiro Suzuki to hit the barrel, and he nearly did it twice.”
Shit, that’s last year.
/hangs head, vows never to return