Felix Day!

DMZ · May 8, 2008 at 12:16 am · Filed Under Mariners, Off-topic ranting 


Ist das die Sonne? Day 45” by Arwen Abendstern, cc-licensed

Is it Felix Day?
Yes, it’s Felix Day, child.

funny pictures
moar funny pictures

Here’s a dog licking her* chops with excitement.

Annie licks her chops” by Barbara L. Slavin, cc-licensed

* presumably

Comments

166 Responses to “Felix Day!”

  1. Benne on May 8th, 2008 12:21 am

    Happy Felix Day!

    (clouds open up, angels sing, children dance in the fields. And ponies. Lots and lots of ponies)

  2. Tom on May 8th, 2008 12:22 am

    That’s nice.

    Now onto the real business of the day. . .

    LET’S GO FOR A NO-HITTER FROM OUR OFFENSE, BABY!!!!

    C’MON, WE CAN DO IT!!!!

  3. JMHawkins on May 8th, 2008 2:55 am

    (clouds open up, angels sing, children dance in the fields. And ponies. Lots and lots of ponies)

    Can any of those ponies hit?

  4. Kunkoh on May 8th, 2008 6:24 am

    The happiness of watching Felix pitch is becoming offset by the frustration of watching the offense attempt to… do something? anything? And knowing that if Felix even gives up 2 runs (heck, even 1 run) that he may not get a win. And then I think about the future, and it gets even darker.

    What is the likelihood that Bedard will sign with us? Or Felix?

    Sorry, I don’t mean to be Debbie Downer on Felix Day.

  5. wfan99 on May 8th, 2008 6:47 am

    [not coherent, sorry, I understand you're sleepless]

  6. bergamot on May 8th, 2008 7:25 am

    Felix may pitch a nine-inning shutout. Of course, that just means it will be an extra inning game.

    I’ll watch anyway. I heart Felix.

  7. Jake N. on May 8th, 2008 7:31 am

    [no, you don't get to wish death on anyone. Grow up]

  8. bavasihaspictures on May 8th, 2008 7:45 am

    at least there’s only 122 days till Seattle’s “other” classy, family-friendly, winning sports team takes the field.

  9. DMZ on May 8th, 2008 7:56 am

    The Storm?

  10. SABRcat on May 8th, 2008 8:01 am

    Well, I have an all day interview which will determine whether or not I have a job right away after graduation, so by the time the first pitch is thrown I will most likely be passed out drunkenly, either in misery or happiness.

    Question? Why is the girl German? Oh, Felix is Germany’s favorite athlete? That is awesome! Or more appropriately, Felixcious.

    And the LOLcat was well chosen. I love how in touch and hip our venerable authors are. Getting married, finding LOLcats, what can’t they do? I bet their poops smells like rainbows.

  11. feingarden on May 8th, 2008 8:01 am

    Okay, sure, Felix Day, wooot! and all that, but, Top 5 payroll and

    Worst. Record. In. AL.

    Armstrong has indicated that patience is required in baseball, but he carefully avoided indicating how many *years* of patience.

    Still, I’m looking forward to the inevitable win streak that will offset our current doldrums. And to my lottery win, too, though I don’t buy tickets. Hey! You’re a stats guy, which is more likely?

  12. Jay R. on May 8th, 2008 8:06 am

    I feel for Felix. He knows he has to be pretty much perfect to win with this anemic offense.

  13. Go Felix on May 8th, 2008 8:12 am

    GO FELIX!!!!!!!!!

  14. jspektor on May 8th, 2008 8:16 am

    Felix is good. Mariners are terrible. Can we please get rid of everyone except for Felix, Bedard and Ichiro. I dont even care about putz. and yes, I want to include the ushers – get rid of their smug faces too – they wont even let me sit in box seats when less than 16,000 people show up.

  15. Jeff Nye on May 8th, 2008 8:16 am

    I can has Felix Day?

  16. OppositeField on May 8th, 2008 8:23 am

    Oh god. My favorite thing on the internet (USS Mariner) colliding with my very least favorite thing on the internet (LOLcats). What’s a guy to do.

  17. RoninX on May 8th, 2008 8:25 am

    Felix may pitch a nine-inning shutout. Of course, that just means it will be an extra inning game.

    I’ll watch anyway. I heart Felix.

    Gloomiest Felix Day ever? Before you give up hope, remember, there is always the chance that a WP or walk will let the winning run score without the Ms having to come through in the clutch.

  18. Jeff Nye on May 8th, 2008 8:28 am

    How can you not like lolcats?

  19. galaxieboi on May 8th, 2008 8:33 am

    my very least favorite thing on the internet (LOLcats)

    Fascist.

  20. Some Dude on May 8th, 2008 8:39 am

    A couple years ago I used to watch the Ms bat and do yard/house work when we pitched because the pitching never really got me excited. This year it’s the other way around.

    Doing laundry and dishes is more enjoyable than watching our offense. I think that pretty much sums up my thoughts on this season.

  21. wfan99 on May 8th, 2008 8:41 am

    sorry about my ramblings I just wanted to point out that the PECOTA adjusted standing on baseball prospectus has us making the playoffs 5% of the time. Which is a testament about how bad we are and that our season is in fact over and its still not JUNE.

    so yes college graduation Saturday any words of wisdom?

  22. galaxieboi on May 8th, 2008 8:45 am

    so yes college graduation Saturday any words of wisdom?

    Don’t get the clap.

    -Jimmy Dugan

  23. Steve T on May 8th, 2008 8:51 am

    My prediction for Felix’s final line on the season: 1.97 ERA, 220 IP, 220 K, 4-6 won-loss record. He’s going to set a record for no-decisions with 200 IP.

  24. msb on May 8th, 2008 8:59 am

    ¿es día del Felix?

    sí, es día del Felix!!!!

  25. msb on May 8th, 2008 9:01 am

    so yes college graduation Saturday any words of wisdom?

    “Don’t ever rob a bank. Enjoy life. Have fun. Choose to be happy now; don’t wait until you’re ‘successful,’ because honestly, I was as happy when we were unemployed and scrounging around for a buck.”– Peter Farrelly

  26. OppositeField on May 8th, 2008 9:01 am
  27. smb on May 8th, 2008 9:03 am

    You presume correct with the dog. Work in a vet hospital for a couple years and it becomes pretty easy to tell, especially by shape of eyes and head. The teal and pink collar helps in that picture, but I suppose that’s stereotyping. Could just be a fancy boy based solely on that. Digression…

    Happy Felix Day!

  28. jspektor on May 8th, 2008 9:10 am

    25 – That is fantastic. Very much a keeper.

  29. Steve T on May 8th, 2008 9:32 am

    so yes college graduation Saturday any words of wisdom?

    Don’t worry about screwing up. Everybody screws up. Everybody fails. You get as many do-overs as you need.

  30. JI on May 8th, 2008 9:38 am

    It is Felix Day, yet I feel nothing. How can this be?

  31. bakomariner on May 8th, 2008 9:42 am

    I got home last night late from work and had to watch the game in fast forward on my DVR…tonight I have to go to a live production of “Annie”…if the Ms didn’t suck so bad, I’d really hate my life…how sad is it when going to see a musical is almost welcomed over watching a team you’ve been in love with since you were a kid?

  32. JE on May 8th, 2008 9:44 am

    They won’t let you move around in the seats if there is no one there? I was wondering about that. I would like to float an idea, have Felix bat for himself. Who knows, he might hit better than what we are sending up there now.

  33. msb on May 8th, 2008 9:50 am

    tonight I have to go to a live production of “Annie”…

    Don’t if feel like the wind is always howl’n?
    Don’t it seem like there’s never any light!
    Once a day, don’t you wanna throw the towel in?
    It’s easier than puttin’ up a fight.
    No one’s there when your dreams at night get creepy!
    No one cares if you grow…or if you shrink!
    No one dries when your eyes get wet an’ weepy!
    From all the cryin’ you would think this place’s a sink!

    Ohhhh!!!!!!!

  34. bakomariner on May 8th, 2008 9:52 am

    Thanks msb…maybe I’ll have a different perspective on the season after I have to witness Annie’s plight tonight…maybe it’s exactly what I need!

  35. msb on May 8th, 2008 9:57 am

    well, they do say that the sun’ll come out tomorrow…

  36. bakomariner on May 8th, 2008 9:59 am

    they do…but I din’t wanna…lol…

  37. jspektor on May 8th, 2008 10:01 am

    Hey SS mariner … I need some advise.

    I already have a few Mariners hats (some cool 5950′s) but I really want to buy the official on field compass hat.

    The only issue I am having is that its 31 dollars at the team store and I really don’t want to give more money to this freaking franchise.

    What should I do? Boycott the hat … or buy the hat. Honestly, I dont want to give these guys one cent of my hard earned money … but at the same time we have a damn good hat.

  38. scraps on May 8th, 2008 10:02 am

    “More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.”

    –Woody Allen, “My Speech to the Graduates”

  39. jspektor on May 8th, 2008 10:05 am

    Also one more sad piece of information … I was originally a huge fan of the Bedard trade and still think Bedard is an incredible pitcher … but read this bit of disconcerting information:

    “Meanwhile, Sherrill is second in the league in saves; Jones is working his way toward stardom; the upwardly mobile Tillman is limiting the Eastern League to a .198 batting average against him.”

    Scout’s View: “I love Erik Bedard. But honestly, I thought Baltimore kicked [Seattle's] butt in this deal. Sherrill has done an unbelievable job. Adam Jones has star potential. And Tillman … I mean, wow. Now if they take Sherrill and move him at the deadline and turn him into something else that can help them, the Orioles made a tremendous deal.”

  40. HamNasty on May 8th, 2008 10:06 am

    Felix Day, it’s like not getting kicked in the nuts.

  41. bakomariner on May 8th, 2008 10:10 am

    Re: The Bedard deal

    That’s pretty much why most of us here were against the trade the whole time…terrible, terrible, trade…

    He’s great, but Bavasi got robbed again…

  42. bakomariner on May 8th, 2008 10:12 am

    Besides being Felix Day, is today the day that they have to make a decision on Wilkerson? They had 10 days to do something right?

  43. galaxieboi on May 8th, 2008 10:18 am

    Hey SS mariner … I need some advise

    It’s USS Mariner, dude. We’re not an SS Division.

  44. PositivePaul on May 8th, 2008 10:21 am

    so yes college graduation Saturday any words of wisdom?

    Sunscreen good
    No sunscreen bad

    This message has been approved by Doyle

  45. msb on May 8th, 2008 10:23 am
  46. jspektor on May 8th, 2008 10:23 am

    43 … riiiiiight …. dude.

  47. PositivePaul on May 8th, 2008 10:24 am

    And since college probably didn’t help your reading skills, forcing you to rely on the audio version, here’s the MP3…

  48. msb on May 8th, 2008 10:25 am

    “Our offensive success is based upon the whole body doing what they’re capable of doing. We don’t have the one or two guys that can shoulder the burden. We don’t have that one player who can carry a team for a week to 10 days, who’s hitting homers, knocking runs in, scoring runs, that whole thing. We need our guys to rise up to their track records. If they do that, we’ll be able to score enough runs to win games.”

    Mac? nope. Padres’ manager Bud Black.

    hmm. maybe there is something wrong with the Peoria Sports Complex …

  49. jspektor on May 8th, 2008 10:30 am

    hmm. maybe there is something wrong with the Peoria Sports Complex …

    Yeah, they both took notes from each other…although I expect more out of our lineup than those broken down Pads.

  50. sealclubber253 on May 8th, 2008 10:33 am

    I went to bed last night with the thougth of burning every blue item of clothing that I had in protest of the Mariners trying to destroy a season. This morning the feelings had hours to boil and I felt that way even more.

    But, I log on to USSM and what do I see? One of the coolest LOL cats ever. Thanks DMZ!!!

  51. bakomariner on May 8th, 2008 10:33 am

    Bud Black went to my high school (well before me) and was a Mariner, so I always root for him (hated him being with the Angels)…too bad the Padres are as bad offensively as the Ms…maybe worse…if that’s possible…what’s the over/under on runs when they meet up?

  52. msb on May 8th, 2008 10:35 am

    I have to stop listening to the mid-day show ‘baseball fans’ — they are harshing my Felix Day buzz:

    McLaren isn’t a leader, he looked like he wanted to cry last night and Lou would never have looked like he wanted to cry.

    No one is even hitting the back of their baseball cards, so they must all have been on steroids.

    This team has no heart, they don’t even look mad when they swing through pitches, they have no leaders, Ichiro is supposed to be the best centerfielder, but he just cares about himself.

  53. scott19 on May 8th, 2008 10:47 am

    He’s going to set a record for no-decisions with 200 IP.

    And you know, given this roster, that’s not too much out of the blue.

    Actually, Bert Blyleven had a season years back where he had like 19 or 20 ND’s. Strangely enough, it was the year he won a WS ring with the Pirates.

  54. msb on May 8th, 2008 10:51 am

    oh, even better.

    They aren’t a team because there are too many international players and how can McLaren get across his baseball ideals to players from such different cultural and language backgrounds?

    and now Fain points out that they win when it is warm, and lose when it is cold.

    felixfelixfelixfelixfelixfelixfelixfelixfelixfelixfelix

  55. joser on May 8th, 2008 10:54 am

    Remember “there’s always next year”? Well, the sun’ll come out tomorrow, too. Except in Seattle, where convergence zone drizzle is always in the forecast, and “next year” arrived in 1995/2001 and they whiffed.

    But hey, Felix is the sun. The rest of the team are just a bunch of crappy satellites, orbiting inertly.

    I was originally a huge fan of the Bedard trade and still think Bedard is an incredible pitcher

    Maybe now you understand why many of us were hugely against the Bedard trade even though we thought (and still think) he is an incredible pitcher (albeit with durability issues).

    The Storm?

    When does the Sounders FC (or WhateverTF they’re called) start playing?

    Don’t worry about screwing up. Everybody screws up. Everybody fails. You get as many do-overs as you need.

    Says the guy in prison.

  56. joser on May 8th, 2008 10:54 am

    Bad closing tag. I suck. [made my best guess as to how to fix it, hope it's OK]

  57. Mo Vaughn Is My Hero on May 8th, 2008 11:03 am

    I thought Seattle didn’t get hurricanes?

  58. WTF_Ms on May 8th, 2008 11:07 am

    #53

    I remember Bert “Be Home” Blyleven! That was a good year for nicknames…Chuck “New Kids on” Knoblauch…the list goes on…

    College Grad…Stay in school…get a Masters. Undergrad degrees are $20 on the internet….

    Game Last night….pathetic…can we get more than 2 hits please? Jeff Pentland’s gotta go….soon…apparently what he knows about hitting isn’t working. Any ideas there? Maybe get rid of Mac, make Mel Manager, and move Norm to Pitching coach….that’d be better than what we have now…or make Riggs the Manager….something….anything….there is nowhere to go from here.

  59. area 51 on May 8th, 2008 11:07 am

    Theres no need to blow up Happy Felix Day…
    A simple “Happy Felix Day!” does justice…

  60. Ollie in Raleigh on May 8th, 2008 11:08 am

    Perhaps joser but keep your chin up, you can’t suck worse than _____________.

    Insert your favorite Mariner player or one of the piles in the FO.

    happy Felix day and to the person who made the annie reference thanks.

    I’ve got it’s a hard knock life stuck in my head now and being an M’s fan isn’t helping me feel otherwise.

  61. PositivePaul on May 8th, 2008 11:13 am

    Isn’t it un-sunny and un-pony-like that even our King can’t really be a stopper? I mean, even if he threw 27 perfect innings (mostly 1 pitch outs, leaving ~81 pitches or so — no 120+ pitches needed) tonight, the M’s would STILL have to score 1 run to get a friggin’ win.

  62. bakomariner on May 8th, 2008 11:15 am

    msb-

    stop listening to that crap man…you’re only making it worse!

  63. Chris on May 8th, 2008 11:22 am

    #51, You went to Mark Morris? Class of 1996 right here. My mother was same class as Bud, he is a really cool guy.

  64. msb on May 8th, 2008 11:23 am

    ‘they need to get some kahunas (sic) and step up to the plate, and be professionals, they get paid millions of dollars, and bring Griffey back to get into that clubhouse and speak some truth and let them know what it means to be a Mariner.’

    ok, that’s it.

    Felix!!!!!

  65. Jeff Nye on May 8th, 2008 11:31 am

    I think we might have to start treating the G-word like H*stur from Lovecraft.

    “He who shall not be named.”

  66. tomas on May 8th, 2008 11:31 am

    joser,
    I’m with you man. I’m excited about the Sounders FC next year. With Allen’s dough, and (judging by the Hawks) seeming ability to hire quality people to run things, they could be damn good. Picture this: Sounders FC playing to a full Quest Field while across the street the M’s are continuing their perpetual mediocrity before 1,000 fans (who snuck beers in)

  67. msb on May 8th, 2008 11:36 am

    FWIW, Allen is a minority owner– the majority owner is Joe Roth; the other two minotiry owners are Adrian Hanauer & Drew Carey

  68. bakomariner on May 8th, 2008 11:37 am

    63-Mark Morris class of ’04…

  69. bakomariner on May 8th, 2008 11:39 am

    63- That should be MM class of ’94…I’m an idiot…

  70. xxtinynickxx on May 8th, 2008 11:48 am

    DO THE HAPPY FELIX DANCE!

  71. bergamot on May 8th, 2008 11:50 am

    Well, I have an all day interview which will determine whether or not I have a job right away after graduation, so by the time the first pitch is thrown I will most likely be passed out drunkenly, either in misery or happiness.

    You mean, there’s an employer in Seattle who hires people who are not grizzled veterans?

  72. DMZ on May 8th, 2008 11:59 am

    After the all-day interview, you’re a veteran. You’ve been through the wars. If you went in without grittiness, you’ll have grittiness when you’re done.

  73. msb on May 8th, 2008 12:19 pm

    just be sure to shake that grittiness out of your clothes before you sit down to drink.

  74. jspektor on May 8th, 2008 12:31 pm

    66 -

    I got my 2 sounders FC tickets … I’m ready to rock n roll!

  75. Lauren, token chick on May 8th, 2008 12:36 pm

    so yes college graduation Saturday any words of wisdom?

    People often ask me if I have any words of advice for young people…

  76. msb on May 8th, 2008 12:54 pm

    [snerk]

  77. eponymous coward on May 8th, 2008 1:44 pm

    This thread needs more ponies, because I’m pretty sure they could hit over the Mendoza line, and Felix is going to need some run support.

  78. Jeff Nye on May 8th, 2008 1:46 pm

    Ponies might clog up the basepaths, though.

  79. justinh on May 8th, 2008 1:52 pm

    We have 6 guys batting .320 or above versus left handed pitching. As a team we are batting .313. Versus righties we are batting .213 with no one above .300. Also, we have the lowest AVG, OBP, OPS in all baseball versus righties.

    So why not go out and get a lefty? [Why is this being brought up in every single thread all of a sudden? Cut it out and wait for the upcoming Griffey post]

  80. msb on May 8th, 2008 1:53 pm
  81. justinh on May 8th, 2008 2:01 pm

    I am like a kid in a candy store, I can’t wait. Okay I will. Been looking forward to it!

  82. msb on May 8th, 2008 2:01 pm

    !!Chuckster Alert!!

    Armstong is to be on with Ian Furness at 2:50; listen as he fries your ears once more with bland platitudes.

  83. eponymous coward on May 8th, 2008 2:05 pm

    Ponies might clog up the basepaths, though.

    More than Sexson and Turbo do?

  84. wabbles on May 8th, 2008 2:07 pm

    RE: 3 I don’t know if the ponies can hit but I know those angels can and probably the children could hit better than our current lineup.

  85. justinh on May 8th, 2008 2:10 pm


    !!Chuckster Alert!!

    Armstong is to be on with Ian Furness at 2:50; listen as he fries your ears once more with bland platitudes.

    Word is he is going to make a big announcement. We have signed Miguel Cairo to a 3 year extention. Terms not yet available.

  86. mln on May 8th, 2008 2:19 pm

    Given the Mariners’ recent ineptitude, let’s just hope that Felix Day does not turn into something like this.

  87. justinh on May 8th, 2008 2:21 pm

    Greg “salt in the wound” Norton with another pitch hit two-run single to tie the game for the Braves. They then went on to win 5-4.

  88. nwtrev on May 8th, 2008 2:28 pm

    82 – can someone post a summary of what Armstrong says? I can’t listen while at work.

    86 – Ack. My eyes! Need brain bleach….

  89. justinh on May 8th, 2008 2:35 pm

    I will post what he says. Also, KJR posts the interviews usually by tonight.

  90. Tek Jansen on May 8th, 2008 2:46 pm

    Hmmm, sounds like some sort of damage control. The M’s suckitude is the only story in town, and I imagine that they are upset not only by the lousy play, but by the barage of criticism. Even if they know it is fair criticism, they must feel a need to respond and create their own narrative.f

  91. gwangung on May 8th, 2008 2:53 pm

    Hmmm, sounds like some sort of damage control. The M’s suckitude is the only story in town, and I imagine that they are upset not only by the lousy play, but by the barage of criticism. Even if they know it is fair criticism, they must feel a need to respond and create their own narrative

    That’s just inept, then.

    If the team plays poorly, own up to it. If it’s fair criticism, accept it.

    Trying to spin and create their own narratives when the team is plainly not playing well is kinda insulting to our intelligence.

    Hm. Wasn’t there a post on that a day or so ago….

  92. OppositeField on May 8th, 2008 2:54 pm

    He’s on air right now.

  93. msb on May 8th, 2008 2:54 pm

    Hmmm, sounds like some sort of damage control.

    well, he was talked to as he wandered through the clubhouse yesterday, and it was written up; makes sense that someone on air would follow up the print guys.

  94. HamNasty on May 8th, 2008 2:54 pm

    Hey Chuck, your also down in the win column…

  95. OppositeField on May 8th, 2008 2:59 pm

    “best coaching staff we’ve ever had”

  96. HamNasty on May 8th, 2008 3:00 pm

    Wow, the under side of that bus is going to be pretty packed.

  97. justinh on May 8th, 2008 3:00 pm

    Armstrong Comments –

    “Advanced tickets sales, season tickets, and suites are all up this year. Weather has definately played a roll in the attendance dropping.”

    “Our team is clearly better than we are playing. The team picked to win the AL this year by many, the Detroit Tigers, is well below .500 and not playing well.”

    “We are trying to build the brand so when people come to the park they have a good Safeco Field experience. We are trying to cater to women and children.”

    “I think Bill Bavasi has done an outstanding job. During the Piniella years, I love Pinella, but he would not play young guys. Bavasi has built up our minor league system.”

    “We are in the 14th biggest market. Really 18th biggest market. Yet we have the 6th highest payroll.”

    “Bill Bavasi’s job is completely safe.”

    “Mac has done a good job.”

    There are the main points.

  98. Tek Jansen on May 8th, 2008 3:00 pm

    Yeah, Chuck is insulting our intelligence.

  99. lailaihei on May 8th, 2008 3:00 pm

    Wow, blame the players. Not the guy that hired them. Not the guy that writes their names on the player card. Just the players.
    I fucking hate Chuck Armstrong.

  100. fret_24 on May 8th, 2008 3:02 pm

    Armstrong on KJR:

    Lots of talk about the attendance, some highlights…

    No question the weather is hurting the gate. (Is this where Blow gets it?)

    Warmer weather and better team play should help turn-out at the park. Though he acknowledges that winning and losing is the biggest factor at the gate. Says the team is clearly better than they have been playing. Cites the records of the Tigers and Yankees to help justify the teams current position.

    Says Bavasi is doing and outstanding job and that his job is absolutely safe. As for Mac, he says this is the best coaching staff ever. They just need to get the players playing better.

  101. Tek Jansen on May 8th, 2008 3:02 pm

    And the worst record in the AL. That is not a point in your favor Chuck.

  102. Tek Jansen on May 8th, 2008 3:02 pm

    I screwed up the blockquote. Sorry to all.

  103. Tek Jansen on May 8th, 2008 3:06 pm

    Blaming players such as Miguel Cairo and Vidro for not hitting is like me blaming my dog for not making me coffee in the morning. It is my fault for expecting the unreasonable.

  104. HamNasty on May 8th, 2008 3:06 pm

    I mostly like how he blamed all 25 guys. Not a few select players that have been bad, everyone like Beltre, Bedard, Felix… all to blame.
    Hey Chuck, you can’t say players are to blame when they are playing to their skill level but you have a bunch of guys with crappy skill levels. Vidro, Sexson, Batista, and Wasburn are all playing up to their poor skill levels.

  105. Xteve X on May 8th, 2008 3:08 pm

    While listening to Armstrong I kept imagining him in an Air Force flight jacket, grinning wildly and giving the thumbs up in front of a gigantic “Mission Accomplished” banner.

    Suddenly it all made sense.

    Chuckie, yer doin’ a heckuva job.

  106. nwtrev on May 8th, 2008 3:09 pm

    97, 100
    Wow…just … wow. I guess when the weather warms up and the seats are full of women and children the Ms will go on an epic run, play .800 ball and take the division by 8 games. Sweet. I’ll just tune in mid-June to watch the run.

  107. msb on May 8th, 2008 3:10 pm
  108. msb on May 8th, 2008 3:11 pm

    I wonder if they play ‘good cop, bad cop’

    Chuck handles the happy, bland platitudes and Howard takes on the tough-guy ‘on the hot seat’ remarks.

  109. fret_24 on May 8th, 2008 3:12 pm

    I really can’t believe that with the current situation the thing he seems most concerned about is how well they are appealing to women and children. If it would help with his cold weather attendance I could donate some of the apparel I’ve purchased so he can burn it to heat the women and children.

  110. Sentinel on May 8th, 2008 3:13 pm

    So, what are the odds that both pitchers take a no-hitter into the 10th? You know Felix is capable, and this offense is surely capable of such a feat.

  111. msb on May 8th, 2008 3:15 pm

    this is the best coaching staff ever.

    yeah.

  112. mln on May 8th, 2008 3:15 pm

    Armstrong also forget to mention the following in his comments: “I’ve also been off my meds for awhile, so I may be slightly delusional.”

  113. justinh on May 8th, 2008 3:19 pm

    He really just kinda ripped Piniella as well. Saying Piniella only liked to play veterans (worked out pretty well for Lou) and Mac’s staff is best coaching in our history.

    Also, “well the tigers are playing poorly, and I think the Yankees are under .500.”

    Very frustrating to listen to.

  114. galaxieboi on May 8th, 2008 3:19 pm

    this is the best coaching staff ever.

    yeah.

    Haha. That’s awesome. ‘Go ahead, a**hole! Just try to get that curveball by the kid again!!!’.

  115. gwangung on May 8th, 2008 3:23 pm

    He really just kinda ripped Piniella as well. Saying Piniella only liked to play veterans

    WHich is why Adam Jones got so much experience last year, and Clement and Wlad broke spring with the big club and…

    Oh, wait….

  116. gwangung on May 8th, 2008 3:25 pm

    Mr. Armstrong should quit while he’s ahead….

  117. Sentinel on May 8th, 2008 3:27 pm

    Mr. Armstrong should quit while he’s ahead…

    That time has passed. He’s so far behind, I don’t think he can ever catch up.

  118. smb on May 8th, 2008 3:29 pm

    Pardon my French, but FUCK!! Maybe Chuck should watch a Sox home game sometime. He might notice all those smilin’ kids and the hundreds/thousands of pink jerseys in the stands. He might then deduce that a winning baseball team is very popular with both women and children, moreso than knitting promotions and a urine-scented OF Children’s Playground. If you want to cater to women and children/families, get your head out of your ass and build a winner.

    Chuck Armstrong’s new motto: “The buck stops…waaaay down there.”

    Delusional. He’s completely delusional.

    I am so fucking furious at reading those quotes. What a bunch of BS. I don’t know that I can give this team another red cent until these clowns go the way of the Kingdome.

  119. Sentinel on May 8th, 2008 3:37 pm

    I don’t know that I can give this team another red cent until these clowns go the way of the Kingdome.

    I’ve already sent them my email saying that I will not watch anymore games, televised or at Safeco, until this team starts making smarter decisions, be that a complete overhaul of FO/Management, or whatever. The only exception I will make is taking my two kids to their first ballgame. That is the ONLY exception.

    Not sure what good it will do, but it made me feel a little better.

  120. fret_24 on May 8th, 2008 3:40 pm

    I know how you feel. I opted not to buy another M’s hat just the other day due to frustration. This interview convinced me that I don’t need to make the 4hr drive to Seattle this weekend to see a game or two either. I’m going to save all sorts of money this season.

  121. Sentinel on May 8th, 2008 3:44 pm

    Yeah, the drive is five hours for me. I can’t justify any of the money, from gas to food to tickets for the game. Not when we have a bunch of fools at the top sinking the ONLY sports team that I root for.

    It’s hard to say all of this. I’ve been a diehard Mariners fan since 1988 when I took in my first game at the Kingdome. I have fond memories of ’95 and ’01, and it sucks to see this franchise take such a fall from grace.

    *solitary tear*

    I’ll always be a Mariners fan. It’s just hard to be one right now.

  122. ChrisK on May 8th, 2008 3:45 pm

    Translation of Armstrong’s quotes:

    “We will continue to make money hand-over-fist so long as the weather is good and we have enough promotions and other carnival attractions to attract families. Winning helps but we still make gobs of money regardless. Btw thanks Ian for supporting my arguments.

    Oh, and as long as I’m toying with my gullible fan base, I might as well share my favorite lie that we’re in a REALLY small market, so you should just be thankful for how much money we spend for our beloved fans. Hey, I just said it and got away with it again! I love being a baseball owner in this town!”

  123. TomC on May 8th, 2008 3:45 pm

    Wow, there’s a big crowd here today. I wonder what the record is for most posts on a game thread before the first pitch is even thrown?

  124. Sklyansky on May 8th, 2008 3:48 pm

    Isn’t “grow the brand” some 80s cliche that a caricature of a businessman would use? Armstrong didn’t seriously say that did he?

    It is amazing how intellectually dishonest Lincoln and Armstrong are…surely they can not possibly believe anything they say at this point?

  125. Sentinel on May 8th, 2008 3:50 pm

    I’m not sure, but let’s break it! After all, it IS Felix Day!!! Yippeeeeeeeee!

    Too bad I won’t be watching it or recording it. But let’s go M’s!!!

  126. gwangung on May 8th, 2008 3:51 pm

    It is amazing how intellectually dishonest Lincoln and Armstrong are…surely they can not possibly believe anything they say at this point?

    Oh, I’m quite sure they believe in themselves wholeheartedly. That’s the problem.

    (And that’s over and above the matter of treating the fans like dumb schmucks….)

  127. galaxieboi on May 8th, 2008 3:53 pm

    What’s forgotten sometimes when people look at ‘media market’ size is said market’s per capita income or family income. Sure, Seattle isn’t huge. But I’d bet dollars to donuts that it’s one of the wealthier cities per capita though.

    This is turn allows teams to sign more lucrative local TV deals and sell more merch, micro brew beer, hot nuts, ect.. Perhaps I’m way off base here, but Armstrong’s qoute of corralating their payroll to Seattle’s ‘market size’ is fairly insulting to anyone with 2 brain cells to rub together.

  128. eponymous coward on May 8th, 2008 3:54 pm

    I’ve seen this song and dance of “Everything is rainbows and ponies” before, from this same ownership group. Remind me, how’d this story end in 2004?

    I don’t believe it any more than I believed it then, either. Baseball executives are famous for “votes of confidence” and then throwing players/managers/GMs/whoever under the bus. The fact that Mariner senior management is having a lovefest with McLaren and Bavasi right now, and stridently saying that everything is alright, pay no attention to that man behind the curtain, is irrelevant. This is PR spin right now, and it will be conveniently discarded if the Mariners continue to slide out of contention. The team’s basically doing some ass-covering so that if by some chance they DO get in it by Memorial Day, they can do the inevitable “we knew it all along, you stupid statheads panicked” dance.

  129. msb on May 8th, 2008 3:57 pm

    why is anyone surprised that Chuck is talking up the same happy line that he always has?

    he isn’t a) going to change or b) going to say out loud what he might actually think. That has never been his job; his job is to cheerlead, and stick his foot in his mouth every few years.

  130. Sentinel on May 8th, 2008 3:58 pm

    128,

    That is why I hope the slide continues. As a Mariners fan, it tears me apart inside to say that, but I can’t be dishonest to myself anymore. The only way we’re going to get some change is if the s*** really starts to hit the fan. Well, the monkey is locked on target and about to let fly. I say let him.

  131. abender20 on May 8th, 2008 3:58 pm

    If you like Lolcats and Seattle sports, supersonicsoul actually incorporated the two along with hatred for Clay Bennett… hell, I even made one.

    lolcat sonics

  132. justinh on May 8th, 2008 4:04 pm

    Anyone think Mike Jacobs would be a good fit? Why not make an effort to get him from Florida? He is a 28 year old left-handed 1B who could be had. ESPN radio said Marlins will shop him. We need a first baseman of the future and Florida is not going to be able to re-sign him after next year. All this Teixiera talk makes me think Jacobs would be a good fit. Jacobs is batting .315 8HR 18RBI and over .1000 OPS versus righties.

    Just a thought….

  133. DMZ on May 8th, 2008 4:09 pm

    Seattle is also pretty huge, in addition to being fairly wealthy.

  134. lailaihei on May 8th, 2008 4:13 pm

    Anyone think Mike Jacobs would be a good fit? Why not make an effort to get him from Florida? He is a 28 year old left-handed 1B who could be had. ESPN radio said Marlins will shop him. We need a first baseman of the future and Florida is not going to be able to re-sign him after next year. All this Teixiera talk makes me think Jacobs would be a good fit. Jacobs is batting .315 8HR 18RBI and over .1000 OPS versus righties.

    Just a thought….

    Good fit. Just like Bedard was a good fit. And just like Bedard he isn’t good enough to make us a contender.

  135. justinh on May 8th, 2008 4:17 pm


    Good fit. Just like Bedard was a good fit. And just like Bedard he isn’t good enough to make us a contender.

    Our situation has nothing to do with the skill of Bedard. If you think the trade has something to do with it, so be it, but nothing to do with his skill. I was saying Jacobs would help us now and in the future. If we are going to go get a left-handed bat, he is a great option. Or, sign Cairo to a long-term deal to play first base.

  136. Sentinel on May 8th, 2008 4:21 pm

    Or, sign Cairo to a long-term deal to play first base.

    WHAT?!?!

    I hope you just said that to get a rise out of someone. If so, mission accomplished.

  137. lailaihei on May 8th, 2008 4:22 pm

    Our situation has nothing to do with the skill of Bedard. If you think the trade has something to do with it, so be it, but nothing to do with his skill. I was saying Jacobs would help us now and in the future. If we are going to go get a left-handed bat, he is a great option. Or, sign Cairo to a long-term deal to play first base.

    Not what I was saying at all. Bedard is a great player, but wasn’t the missing piece to put us in contention. The same way Jacobs might make sense if we’re on the brink of playoffs, but trading future for him now doesn’t help us in the future.
    Do you think we’d get Jacobs for Sexson + Vidro? No, we would have to trade some of our minor league prospects, which doesn’t actually help us in the future.
    So what am I saying? He’ll help us now, but it won’t make a difference. He’ll help us in the future, but at the expense of a better future.
    No reason to pursue him.

  138. Sentinel on May 8th, 2008 4:23 pm

    Good fit. Just like Bedard was a good fit. And just like Bedard he isn’t good enough to make us a contender.

    I don’t think it’s about becoming a contender this year anymore. I think it’s about making some sound moves to improve our team’s future.

  139. justinh on May 8th, 2008 4:30 pm

    137 – Lai, ok get your point about Bedard. I understand we would be giving up talent for Jacobs. I would trade Lahair and another prospect for Jacobs. Definately would not give up top prospects, but he would be a great fit for us short and long term. We are going to have to get a 1B to replace Sexson or put Clement there. If we are going to get a first baseman why not solve a problem and get a lefty? I know Tex is out there but rumor is he will command 200 million (MLBTradeRumor article today). I think I would rather have Clement catch and DH for now in order to see if he can be a MLB catcher long-term. Just an idea….

  140. justinh on May 8th, 2008 4:35 pm

    Surprised Mac isn’t starting Willie tonight. He has a HR against Gabbard.

  141. Sentinel on May 8th, 2008 4:46 pm

    An OPS of 1.400 against Gabbard for WFB. Mac should sit Beltre for Willie, since Adrian’s only hitting .250 against him.

    Come on, Mac! It’s OBVIOUS!

  142. lailaihei on May 8th, 2008 4:47 pm

    137 – Lai, ok get your point about Bedard. I understand we would be giving up talent for Jacobs. I would trade Lahair and another prospect for Jacobs. Definately would not give up top prospects, but he would be a great fit for us short and long term. We are going to have to get a 1B to replace Sexson or put Clement there. If we are going to get a first baseman why not solve a problem and get a lefty? I know Tex is out there but rumor is he will command 200 million (MLBTradeRumor article today). I think I would rather have Clement catch and DH for now in order to see if he can be a MLB catcher long-term. Just an idea….

    It’s a nice thought, but Mike Jacobs is a good MLB player and LaHair is a non-prospect. Maybe like Tui/Saunders/Parker for Jacobs? It’s not as simple as trading bad players for good ones.

  143. jspektor on May 8th, 2008 4:50 pm

    Dumbstrong Remarks put me in more of a bad mood than I already am. Bavasi is nothing but horrible.

  144. Sentinel on May 8th, 2008 4:53 pm

    I wonder if there’s any chance that Florida’s GM buys into the whole “veterany goodness” deal. Or, better yet, the “professional hitter” aspect of Vidro. If so, we could probably get him to bite on a Vidro/Cairo-for-Jacobs deal, right?

  145. justinh on May 8th, 2008 4:57 pm

    Lahair’s stock is rising. I would def trade Tui as I just don’t think he is going to amount to beans. He sucks. Made 2 errors today in about 2 innings and now has 10 this year.

    BTW – Reed went 3 for 4 with 2 doubles.

  146. PaulMolitorCocktail on May 8th, 2008 5:18 pm

    Maybe like Tui/Saunders/Parker for Jacobs? It’s not as simple as trading bad players for good ones.

    Why not? Let’s trade Cairo, Sexson, and Vidro for Joba Chamberlain!

  147. Sentinel on May 8th, 2008 5:22 pm

    Maybe like Tui/Saunders/Parker for Jacobs? It’s not as simple as trading bad players for good ones.

    Why not? Let’s trade Cairo, Sexson, and Vidro for Joba Chamberlain!

    Whoa, whoa whoa, just… whoa! He said bad players, all right? You’re giving up the heart of our order and half of our bench there.

  148. red_devil20 on May 8th, 2008 5:24 pm

    True, true, but we’d be getting a guy named “Joba” back. Imagine the marketing possibilities!

  149. justinh on May 8th, 2008 5:33 pm

    Hey. I never said we could get Jacobs for nothing! I was the one who said I would give up LaHair and maybe someone like Tui.

    BTW – I just listened to KJR and I hear people say get Jacque Jones, Bonds, bring up Tui, trade for Chris Duncan. Gas’s response….”I am so glad we had some rational callers right there. Great ideas.”

  150. justinh on May 8th, 2008 5:37 pm


    Surprised Mac isn’t starting Willie tonight and 2nd and Lopez at DH. He has a HR against Gabbard.

    HA!!!!! McClaren is playing Willie tonight. He saw Willie is 2 for 5 with a homer and starts him. Wow. Unreal.

  151. PaulMolitorCocktail on May 8th, 2008 5:38 pm

    Whoa, whoa whoa, just… whoa! He said bad players, all right? You’re giving up the heart of our order and half of our bench there.

    It’ll be ok. We’ll trade Lowe, Wlad, and Clement for a seasoned vet like Barry Zito who can help the team win now.

  152. PaulMolitorCocktail on May 8th, 2008 5:42 pm

    And then we can sign Neifi Perez and Desi Relaford to shore up the bench.

  153. red_devil20 on May 8th, 2008 5:43 pm

    Bring back Darnell Coles. He had seasoned grittiness.

  154. justinh on May 8th, 2008 5:47 pm

    What about Rey Quinones? The guy who dis-appeared one year. Or Greg “Pee-Wee” Briley.

    Scary thing is you know Sabean is thinking, “maybe I can send Zito to Seattle?”

  155. TaylorD7 on May 8th, 2008 5:56 pm

    Hey, anyone know what happened to the RSS feed? I haven’t been getting mine for a week or so….

  156. Sklyansky on May 8th, 2008 6:00 pm

    We have enough gritty hitters, what is needed are some gritty pitchers. A team needs a minimum of at least 15 gritty players to realistically compete. Frankie Rodriguez was gritty for us before, surely BB can track him down to fulfill our grit quota.

  157. red_devil20 on May 8th, 2008 6:07 pm

    You make a great point there. What about 1996 organizational pitcher of the year Bob Wells. That guy had more grit than grit itself.

  158. Say Hey on May 8th, 2008 6:20 pm

    I’m happy it’s Felix Day and all, but I was wondering, when does Hitting Day come? Is there a Hitting Day in the Mariners’ future? Because unless Felix throws a shutout, he doesn’t have a great chance of winning no matter how well he pitches if we can’t hit. And boy, we cannot hit lately.

  159. Typical Idiot Fan on May 8th, 2008 6:35 pm

    Tui is 21 years old in AAA ball. He’s still got some time left to develop.

  160. maalox on May 8th, 2008 7:24 pm

    Fastball
    Fastball
    Fastball
    Fastball
    Fastball
    Slider
    Fastball
    Change
    Fastball
    Fastball
    Fastball
    Fastball
    Fastball
    Change
    Fastball
    Fastball
    Fastball
    Fastball
    Fastball
    Curveball
    Fastball
    Fastball
    Fastball
    Fastball
    Fastball

  161. smb on May 8th, 2008 7:26 pm

    Bring back Bragg! Alex Diaz! Jose Paniagua!!! At least then I could laugh.

  162. Rick L on May 8th, 2008 8:49 pm

    01 pitches for Felix in 4 innings? Bad Felix writ large.

  163. Rick L on May 8th, 2008 8:50 pm

    That should have been 101 pitches.

  164. Rick L on May 8th, 2008 8:53 pm

    We now have 0 players batting .300 or above.

  165. Rick L on May 8th, 2008 9:08 pm

    160. Whose fault is that? Kenji? MacLaren? Felx?

  166. Sentinel on May 8th, 2008 10:25 pm

    165,

    Maybe Stottlemyre? Probably Felix, though. What happened to him tonight?

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