Game 41, Mariners at Rangers

DMZ · May 13, 2008 at 4:20 pm · Filed Under Mariners 

Felix versus Kason Gabbard. 5:05

One of the unexpected side-effects of unbalanced play that I don’t see discussed — and I say this as someone who hugely favored unbalanced play despite its problems — is that it makes you feel like you’ve seen the same team over and over. I feel like over the last few years I’ve seen Texas so often the sight of their uniforms makes me a little nauseous. Those guys again? Millwood for the 200th time in two seasons? Noooooooooooooooo.


CF-L Ichiro
1B-0 Cairo
3B-R Beltre
LF-L Ibanez
2B-R Lopez
C-R Johjima
RF-R Balentien
DH-L Clement
SS-R Betancourt

What a bizarre lineup. Lopez at 5? Why in the world would you do that? I don’t get it. And why play Cairo at first? Or bat him second?

Let’s assume for a second you want Cairo to play. He should bat last, because he’s the worst hitter. Maybe second-to-last, if you want to get the Betancourt-Ichiro sequence. So
1 = Ichiro
9 = Cairo

Then you want your best hitters in the middle, so
CF-L Ichiro
3/4: LF-L Ibanez, 3B-R Beltre

Then really, Lopez fits in nicely at 2, which sets up a nice L/R sequence:

CF-L Ichiro
2B-R Lopez
LF-L Ibanez
3B-R Beltre
1B-0 Cairo

Then, sorting on current performance and general L/R-ness, a decent lineup comes together pretty quickly.

CF-L Ichiro
2B-R Lopez
LF-L Ibanez
3B-R Beltre
DH-L Clement
RF-R Balentien
C-R Johjima
SS-R Betancourt
1B-0 Cairo

See? Piece of cake.


2B-R Kinsler
DH-L Catalanotto
SS-R Young
CF-L Hamilton
RF-L Murphy
LF-B Boggs
C-R Laird
1B-R Shelton
3B-L Vazquez


164 Responses to “Game 41, Mariners at Rangers”

  1. Steve T on May 13th, 2008 8:00 pm


  2. G-Man on May 13th, 2008 8:01 pm

    Insult to injury; Eddie gets the save.

  3. scott19 on May 13th, 2008 8:02 pm

    …And officially DONE!

    Another stellar effort tonight for your Bad News Bears! >:(

  4. jspektor on May 13th, 2008 8:03 pm

    insult to injury: weve lost 11 of 13. insult to injury: we dont even focus.

    I feel bad for Ichiro, looks like he’s mailing it in too.

    This whole squad is mailing it in

  5. Tom in Edmonds on May 13th, 2008 8:05 pm

    31 errors in 41 games ?????????

    I R a Pro…..

  6. jspektor on May 13th, 2008 8:06 pm


    is there a stat measuring lack of focus

  7. killer_ewok18 on May 13th, 2008 8:08 pm

    Whats-Her-Face (A.K.A. Non-Zaloumis-Woman) could barely keep a straight face at all the errors… Funniest thing I’ve seen all night. Yeah, even funnier than 4 errors.

  8. jspektor on May 13th, 2008 8:08 pm

    Loser – Noun – a person or team who is incompetent or unable to succeed; also : something doomed to fail or disappoint

    Pathetic – adjective – pitifully inferior or inadequate, absurd, laughable

    Anemic – adjective – lacking force, vitality, or spirit

    Your Seattle Mariners.

  9. paulkersey on May 13th, 2008 8:14 pm

    I’m going to start watching M’s games with “Yakety Sax” playing on a loop. That song makes anything seem like a lark.

  10. scott19 on May 13th, 2008 8:17 pm

    Whew…sure glad I didn’t waste my money, liver and brain cells down at the bar tonight, like I usually do for Felix Day!

    Oh, well…as they say, misery does love company. Thanks guys (and gals)!

    (P.S.: One more quick quip for the road…Niehaus just asked Rizzs if he’s ever played bingo. If I were Rizzy at this point, I be tempted to answer, “No, but I’m considering taking up Russian Roulette!” 😮 )

  11. paulkersey on May 13th, 2008 8:18 pm

    Niehaus asking about bingo? Is he trying to seem old?

  12. mln on May 13th, 2008 9:02 pm

    Just think. There are still 4.5 more months of this brand of Mariner baseball to look forward to!!! (Insert your preferred emoticon here.)

  13. Benne on May 13th, 2008 11:23 pm

    I’m surprised that jspektor can still work up the passion to get angry at a loss. Myself, I’ve come to accept the M’s ineptitude, and watch the games more out of a sense of duty than anything.

    Or maybe I’m just a masochist.

  14. joser on May 14th, 2008 12:45 am

    I’m surprised that jspektor can still work up the passion to get angry at a loss.

    If he stopped using “we” to refer to the team — as if he’s actually on it, or something — it might be easier for him to get the necessary rational distance.

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