Now we must come together as fans to find and consume beers from Papua New Guinea

DMZ · May 24, 2008 at 11:18 pm · Filed Under Mariners 

“Usually I enjoy Japanese beer, but given the situation, if I was objectively watching the game, I wouldn’t care if it was Japanese beer, American beer or beer from Papua New Guinea.” — Ichiro

Being nothing if not devoted, near-slavish zombies who worship Ichiro here at USSM, I feel we must now carry out his will and find beer to drink while we cheer (and boo)(we boo with love). American beers are available at every corner mart. Japanese beers, still no problem. But as all good followers do, we must now take the words of our hero too seriously and locate places that carry the only beers from Papua New Guinea, all brewed by South Pacific Brewery Ltd:

– South Pacific Export Lager
– SP Lager Beer
– Niugini Ice (this is obviously lower priority, as chances are the others are a lot more drinkable)

From the SP site, this is what
SP export lager

SP Lager Beer:
SP lager beer

Niugini Ice:
Ice beers can be good, if they're done well, but no one ever does them well. Bud Ice was the worst -- do you know they actually just chilled it until ice crystals formed and then instead of straining them they'd just warm it back up? What kind of crap is that? Even Mickey's Ice bothers to go through the actual process. I think. Hard to tell. Man, writing that makes me want to go drink some Mickey's. I once seriously considered getting the Mickey's hornet tattooed on me, which if you know me is a pretty shocking thing for me to even seriously think about, but yeah, I thought it would be really cool for a number of reasons that now escape me. I'm so happy that 22-year-old me had some twinge of restraint that prevented that disaster.

The ice beer has its own website “Devoted to the Niugini chillout culture“. Maybe that’s what we need to do: chill out.

So here’s what we need in the comments, so that I can put up a good tracking page for dedicated Mariner fans who want to make it through this season:
– confirmed sightings of these beers, with prices and stock details if you can manage it
– pictures of you with purchased SP Brewery products. Bonus points if you’re at Safeco Field (warning! open container laws mean you should probably keep them shut, though obviously… yeah) and super bonus points if you can get pictures of you, the can/bottle/etc with Ichiro. In fact, you’ll pretty much be my hero if you can get a picture of you, Ichiro, and SP Lager.
– other helpful information related to tracking down these beers, like “I called the SP Brewery and they’re distributed in Seattle by Esposito’s Entirely Legitimate Import-Export Business”

That’s it. We know SP Lager might suck. And I don’t want to hear that this is a stupid project, or Ichiro sucks, or anything of the sort. If you’re not on board with this noble endeavor, then I feel sorry that you can’t get on board with this potentially fun activity born out of this season’s horrible start. Please take your negativity elsewhere, because we have beers to find.

Thank you.


102 Responses to “Now we must come together as fans to find and consume beers from Papua New Guinea”

  1. Jackoboice on June 4th, 2008 8:45 am

    I traveled PNG in ’90. Unbelievable beauty/culture, but a hell of a dangerous place to go in search of a beer. That said, I’d still go back.

    I put a few South Pacific Export Lagers down while in Mt Hagen and Madang … and many more before while bartending in Tucson during college from ’82-’87. (Anyone been to the Fat Chance Bar & Grille?)

    I don’t remember SP Export Lager being “stale crap” or “wet straw”-tasting at all — it was actually good. Seems the brewery had problems but are now back to brewing, showing, and winning some awards. I can’t find an importer anywhere either, and have emailed the brewery several times with no response ( I called once but got the time wrong and had to speak bad Pidgin to a drunk night watchman for 5 minutes. He was no help whatsoever.

    I sucked it up and ordered the $100 case from ( By the way, thanks OCELOT … how did you find that site? BTW, they don’t charge shipping — which actually can’t be cheap if there are no domestic importers left selling it.

    Great thread. Thanks for the info. Will send photos if I can get Ichiro throwing one back….

  2. David Popey on June 25th, 2008 4:07 am

    Happy to see all yous talking about PNG beer, unfortunately you all being on the other side of world….if any of yous still interested in trying to get some over I am happy to help…my email address……

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