Game 61, Mariners at Red Sox

DMZ · June 6, 2008 at 3:00 pm · Filed Under Mariners 

Felix, the Guy Who Gets Held Back, against Bartolo Colon and a scrappy team of bare-knuckled brawlers who get beat up by the even scruffier likes of Jonny Gomes. Hey, yeah, a brawl! It’s what winning teams are doing! Brawl! Brawl! Brawl! That’s exactly what this team needs to fire itself up.

by bsap11

Wooo! Yeah! Get ’em! (this was on Awful Announcing)

Because we sure do need something to get this team together, right? Especially since they didn’t get a new manager for this road trip. I want some entertainment for my entertainment dollar! I want some fireworks! Explosions! Giant flames! Escapes in the nick of time!

If you’re like me, skip ahead to ~1:20 here

You’re welcome. But let’s say you don’t have the budget of the world’s largest military. What could you do with, say, 8% of the cost of a stealth bomber?

AL West standings

$117,666,482 sure does smoke nicely, doesn’t it? And it comes with its own kind of fireworks! But I know many of you have had a hard time trying to keep up with the recriminations, tantrums, and public finger-pointing the team’s been favored with over the last week. I’ve created this handy chart to help:

If you can’t pick out the pattern, check out the full-size 2008 Seattle Mariners Blame Allocation Org Chart.

Felix Day! One of the few remaining things we can cling to that are truly great about the team! Yayyyy!


127 Responses to “Game 61, Mariners at Red Sox”

  1. ManageWA on June 6th, 2008 6:55 pm

    seriously. Everyone knows there’s only 1-2 posts/game thread that actually contribute to discussion.

    The rest is constant fawning over what perfection Turbo is.

  2. BillyJive on June 6th, 2008 6:56 pm


    I just checked out the score at
    I nearly peed

    Tirades after every game from now on!!!

  3. planB on June 6th, 2008 7:02 pm

    Lauren, token chick annoyed Lauren by saying:


  4. ManageWA on June 6th, 2008 7:04 pm

    hahaha well played

    I wish I could be USSM famous

  5. ManageWA on June 6th, 2008 7:07 pm

    I’m pretty sure the mariners number 1 talking point this year is “One win can go a long way”

    Except it doesn’t.

  6. Mike Snow on June 6th, 2008 7:09 pm

    I’m with you, Lauren. Even if I’m apparently annoying you by saying so.

  7. Benne on June 6th, 2008 7:13 pm

    I believe that “___ annoyed Lauren by saying” is what the kids nowadays refer to as being “pwned.”

  8. Mothy on June 6th, 2008 7:21 pm

    I missed the game but just checked out the boxscore. Did Sexson really get 3 singles? When was the last time that happened? Has the new stance turned Sexson into Ichiro (without the speed)?

  9. OppositeField on June 6th, 2008 7:25 pm

    Derek is clearly on acid.

  10. BillyJive on June 6th, 2008 7:44 pm

    Who here thinks they should move Dickey into the starting rotation and put Batsta into the bullpen….
    I hope I’m not annoying Lauren by suggesting this..

  11. BillyJive on June 6th, 2008 7:51 pm

    Hmmm..just watched Doyle hit a double for Philly..could end up being the game winning run…

  12. BillyJive on June 6th, 2008 8:13 pm

    nice..way to go Snelling!

  13. Kazinski on June 6th, 2008 8:33 pm

    Dave said on the radio broadcast that Sexson’s RBI(s) today were his first non-homer RBI’s since April 25th. But that isn’t all his fault since he spent 1/4 of that time on the bench, while that dynamo we call Miguel Cairo was tearing it up in the starting lineup.

    Silva has been pitching much worse lately than Batista, while of course I scoff at ERA and BA as effective tools for projecting performance, they are useful in measuring results; Silva had a 11.00 era and a .395 BAA in May. But you do have a point: Batista may actually be effective in the bullpen, not so Silva.

  14. James T on June 6th, 2008 8:51 pm

    I was at this game sitting in grandstand section 18, which is just at the edge of the backstop mesh in the section furthest from the field at Fenway.

    That may have been the worst home game the Red Sox have played this season. 3 (really 4) errors. No hitting at all the few times the Sox started anything vaguely approximating a rally.

    For some reason, the Red Sox seem bent on prolonging the tenure of McLaren and Bavasi. Yes, Felix is very good. But the Mariners lineup is not. The Red Sox have played their worst home game and some of their worst baseball on the road against the Mariners. I just shook my head at Colon and Lugo and Pedroia not being able to get together on simple plays and Lowell’s two bizarre screwups.

    I don’t know if it was, in any way, the follow up to an emotional game but they looked like crap. And I’m quite tired of them looking like crap against a fairly unimpressive (please, take no offense, I don’t mean to be a provocateur) Mariners team.

  15. Kazinski on June 6th, 2008 8:58 pm


    a fairly unimpressive … Mariners team.

    You refute yourself, it was incredibly impressive for this Mariners team to score 8 runs, no matter how much help they got.

  16. juneau_fan on June 6th, 2008 9:05 pm

    I’ve got a friend who’s a huge Sox fan, John T, and last couple of seasons, she’d rant about the way they’d lose to bad teams like Tampa and the Orioles. Since both those teams are much better this year, perhaps the Mariners have slipped into the role of Soxslayers.

    That, or they exhausted themselves in that brawl.

    (Thank you for the glowing firmament’s return. I feel much more comfortable.)

  17. juneau_fan on June 6th, 2008 9:05 pm

    James T, I mean. (No glow at all, it turns out!)

  18. James T on June 6th, 2008 9:15 pm

    Ambivalence is such a curious thing, currents of pleasure and dislike forming a hybrid sentiment. There I was watching the Sox losing ignominiously 6-0 and Javier Lopez give up a couple more. I suppose I could have felt exasperation or frustration. On some lower level of consciousness I know that those feelings were there. But I so *hate* Javier Lopez’s continuing inclusion on the roster and Terry Francona’s fetish for utilizing the execrable Lopez that I felt almost an even measure of joy in Lopez’s surrendering a couple runs.

  19. juneau_fan on June 6th, 2008 9:19 pm

    Another target of Soxfriend’s scorn–Javier Lopez. I figured the Sox had given up the game when he was sent in. Has he ever not given up runs?

  20. Jar on June 6th, 2008 9:31 pm

    The organizational blame chart is perfect! I am still cracking up about it. I love the arrow that comes from Bavasi, makes a u-turn, and heads right back in his direction. Brilliant!

  21. Lauren, token chick on June 6th, 2008 9:44 pm

    Haha. Dammit! I would complain, but apparently (and I didn’t realize this until now, curiously) I annoyed myself by making the original comment. Shut up, me!

  22. davepaisley on June 6th, 2008 10:28 pm

    Is it just me, or does RRS (at least in this picture) bear an uncanny resemblance to DMZ?

  23. Evan R. on June 6th, 2008 11:00 pm

    It’s just you.

  24. Karen on June 6th, 2008 11:35 pm

    Well, I sure hope RRS doesn’t grow a goatee, because I think he looks too much like Cy-flash-in-the-pan Eric Gagne already.

  25. Benne on June 7th, 2008 2:12 am

    a fairly unimpressive (please, take no offense, I don’t mean to be a provocateur) Mariners team.

    Fairly unimpressive? That’s the nicest thing anyone’s said about the team all year.

  26. bratman on June 7th, 2008 2:24 pm

    Dickey vs Wakefield

    Big Brown doesn’t have sh*t on this match up.

  27. The Unkown Comic on June 7th, 2008 3:15 pm

    Trips me out. I wanted to watch the Belmont Stakes but had forgotten about it but I read that link about the annoyed Lauren inside joke and saw Big Brown mentioned and it reminded me about the Belmont Stakes and turned on the TV and the race is about to start.

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