Game 61, Mariners at Red Sox
Felix, the Guy Who Gets Held Back, against Bartolo Colon and a scrappy team of bare-knuckled brawlers who get beat up by the even scruffier likes of Jonny Gomes. Hey, yeah, a brawl! It’s what winning teams are doing! Brawl! Brawl! Brawl! That’s exactly what this team needs to fire itself up.
Wooo! Yeah! Get ’em! (this was on Awful Announcing)
Because we sure do need something to get this team together, right? Especially since they didn’t get a new manager for this road trip. I want some entertainment for my entertainment dollar! I want some fireworks! Explosions! Giant flames! Escapes in the nick of time!
If you’re like me, skip ahead to ~1:20 here
You’re welcome. But let’s say you don’t have the budget of the world’s largest military. What could you do with, say, 8% of the cost of a stealth bomber?
$117,666,482 sure does smoke nicely, doesn’t it? And it comes with its own kind of fireworks! But I know many of you have had a hard time trying to keep up with the recriminations, tantrums, and public finger-pointing the team’s been favored with over the last week. I’ve created this handy chart to help:
If you can’t pick out the pattern, check out the full-size 2008 Seattle Mariners Blame Allocation Org Chart.
Felix Day! One of the few remaining things we can cling to that are truly great about the team! Yayyyy!