Ichiro, two-time ASG MVP

DMZ · July 15, 2008 at 4:55 pm · Filed Under Game Threads 

Do it! Do it!

And I don’t want to be a spoil sport, but seriously: I don’t care about Yankee Stadium. At all. It’s not the House that Ruth built, it got torn down and rebuilt since then, and if it’s all that amazing, why build a new one. Phhhblllttt. Self-involved New Yorkers, always thinking the world is listening raptly to their boring-ass stories of what they stepped in on the sidewalk or sat on in the subway.

How’s that for a troll? Wooooo!


214 Responses to “Ichiro, two-time ASG MVP”

  1. enazario on July 15th, 2008 11:00 pm

    Im not suggesting there isn’t a rivalry. I’m suggesting that the media hypes it.

  2. Benne on July 15th, 2008 11:04 pm

    That “whooooooosh” sound you hear is Bud sighing in relief.

  3. joser on July 15th, 2008 11:35 pm

    OK, time for my Yankees stadium story. June 2002, interleague play, Giants playing at Yankee stadium for the first time in like forever. I happened to be out at Coney Island the day before and I ran into an old guy in an old-style Giants hat, and I mentioned I was thinking of going to the game. He was horrified. “Those bums! That’s not the Giants! They’re dead to me! Dead! I go to Cyclones games now!” Anyway, the day of the game I take the subway up, crammed cheek to sweaty jowl with Yankees fans, and find a scalper. There’s a bunch of fast-talking hip-hop kids and I know there’s no way I’m in their league but eventually I find a guy. Affecting my best NY accent I pretend I’ve done this before; I demand to look at the ticket like I’ve seen one before; I pretend to know what the “loge level” is. Then I argue over price. Eventually I get it for $5 off face value, and I know I’m getting ripped but I don’t care; I just hope it’s a legit ticket. But the accept it at the stadium and I’m in. Turns out the seat is a pretty good one. Lilly vs Schmidt. Juan Rivera is scratched from the lineup; we find out later he took wrong train to the stadium and then ran into a maintenance truck during batting practice, breaking his kneecap. Seriously, it’s not just Coco Crisp and the Moose.

    So, first inning, David Bell walks, Rich Aurilla gets a single. Bonds comes to the plate with 2 men on. The crowd boos him mercilessly. Bonds tattoos one way up in the upper right field deck. WAY up, like “he might hit the lights like Reggie” up. The crowd goes “Booooooo–wooooooooah!” Down and then up. Hilarious.

    It was mostly a dull game after that, though I made the mistake of trying to call my Dad (who is old enough to remember Gehrig’s “Luckiest Man” speech from when it was news) going into the 9th, not realizing how loud they play “Enter Sandman” when Rivera comes in. Basically that was the end of the phonecall.

    So in the middle of all this, these two 20-something guys with heavy Brooklyn accents start talking to the guy behind them, who is next to me. They’re bleacher creatures, but somebody gave them these tickets so they’re seeing how the other half lives. They start talking about an incident earlier in the season when they were going for a foul ball, and this little kid with a glove (maybe 8-9) gets in the way, and in the scramble one of them accidentally dumps his beer on the kid’s head, but the kid comes up with the ball. So they say “Hey, kid, you owe me a beer” and the kid says “I’ll give you the ball if you buy me a beer too.”

    I don’t know, maybe you had to be there. But it pretty much summed up Yankee stadium for me.

    (And the next day, Clemens started, and IBB’d Bonds 3 times and HBP him once. And then in the top of the 9th, with Aurilla on 1st, and Bonds representing the tying run, Karsay IBB’d him again. On base 5 times in zero AB’s. How’s that for an OBP?)

  4. ferocious_gentleman on July 15th, 2008 11:40 pm

    New Yorkers aren’t more provincial than the actual hicks and yokels, but they sometimes act just as provincial. I think it’s the hypocrisy which makes it seem so much worse…

  5. mln on July 16th, 2008 1:44 am

    Damn. I was hoping this game would go at least 20 innings and end in a tie with Bud Selig having to make the announcement in front of drunken Yankee fans.

    Either that or position players volunteering to pitch.

  6. zzyzx on July 16th, 2008 6:47 am

    Yes, I was definitely rooting for the tie.

    The first 8 or so innings were kind of dull but the next 5 were pretty intense as the NL had to get out of one jam after another. Did they ever announce what would have happened if they had to go another inning?

  7. mln on July 16th, 2008 8:15 am

    Did they ever announce what would have happened if they had to go another inning?

    Yes, they did. Lou Piniella vs. Terry Francona in a fashion runway “walk off” like in the movie Zoolander.

    Winner gets WS home field.

  8. The Ghost of Spike Owen on July 16th, 2008 8:29 am

    Concur. Jesus hates the Yankees.

  9. msb on July 16th, 2008 9:18 am

    my favorite description comes from John Lott, National Post:

    “With one out, Pujols poked a Halladay pitch into the right-field corner for an apparent double. But the Mariners rifle-armed whippet nailed Pujols with a perfect throw to Jeter covering second.”

  10. BaltimoreDave on July 16th, 2008 11:04 am

    Well, as a native of northern New Jersey, I couldn’t agree more about New Yorkers and disagree more about Yankee Stadium – although I’m fairly sure both comments were tongue in cheek.

  11. joser on July 16th, 2008 11:27 am

    Yes, they did. Lou Piniella vs. Terry Francona in a fashion runway “walk off” like in the movie Zoolander.

    Well, it should be Francona vs Hurdle. But I’d like to get Piniella in there, so perhaps a tag-team pose-off with Piniella+Hurdle vs Leyland+Francona?

    And the winner doesn’t just get WS home field. They get declared fabulous.

  12. joser on July 16th, 2008 12:33 pm

    But the Mariners rifle-armed whippet…


    When Pujols goes for second
    You must whip it!
    He’ll get more than he reckon’d
    When you whip it!

    Bomp, da-na, da-na
    I said whip it!
    Bomp, da-na, da-na
    Whip it good!

  13. msb on July 16th, 2008 3:13 pm

    I think we have a new song to play at the Safe.

  14. Brian Rust on July 16th, 2008 8:45 pm

    And Ichiro also was Olbermann’s “best person” tonight for his annual All-Star pep talk.

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