How do you sell Silva?

DMZ · September 15, 2008 at 6:46 pm · Filed Under Mariners 

Hypothetically, let’s say that the M’s hire you to be the GM next season and you can’t resign because they’ve got a bunch of really, really cute kittens they’re holding hostage or something. And your orders are to get rid of Silva and his Silva-sized contract.

What’s your pitch to other teams?

“He’s bound to regress up to the mean.”
“It’s not the worst contract for a back-of-the-rotation guy.”
“If you put him in a big park with a great defense he’d do much better.”
“He used to be friends with Santana.”

What do you say?


35 Responses to “How do you sell Silva?”

  1. joser on September 15th, 2008 7:08 pm

    Dress him in a CC Sabathia jersey and hope nobody notices?

  2. Mr. Egaas on September 15th, 2008 7:09 pm

    “He grills up a mean rib eye.”

  3. terry on September 15th, 2008 7:18 pm

    He’s a HUGE clubhouse leader….

  4. Mike Snow on September 15th, 2008 7:19 pm

    “We’ll throw in Triunfel.”

  5. msb on September 15th, 2008 7:28 pm

    How do you sell Silva?

    by the pound?

  6. msb on September 15th, 2008 7:29 pm

    He’s a HUGE clubhouse leader….

    when he sits around the clubhouse, he sits around the clubhouse …

  7. matt1980 on September 15th, 2008 7:34 pm

    “He’s been working on a great new top secret pitch!”

  8. killer_ewok18 on September 15th, 2008 7:42 pm

    He’s an innings eater.

  9. Colm on September 15th, 2008 7:52 pm

    How about you take advantage of poor spelling, and drum up hysteria by posting thousands of videos on YouTube of youngsters getting high on Silva?

  10. TheEmrys on September 15th, 2008 7:58 pm

    Here is this wonderful package of Adrien Beltre and Carlos Silva. They have phenominal chemistry.

  11. spokane dude on September 15th, 2008 8:22 pm

    “Take him and we’ll give you $30 million.”

    That’s the only way you’re going to get rid of Silva. And $30 million might not be enough.

    Seriously, if it’s up to me, I’d bite the bullet and adopt the strategy of eating two or three or four horrible contracts (or large amounts thereof) over the next three years.

    Jarrod Washburn? You MIGHT be able to find someone to take all of his entire contract for 2009, but maybe not. This is where the horrible decision not to just hand Washburn to Minnesota or the Yankees at the trade deadline might cost the team a few million next year. I’d do what it took to make sure Jarrod’s in someone else’s uni next year.

    Miguel Batista? I’d guess you’ll have to pay half to two-thirds of his salary to get rid of him. But if you make it worth their while, you can find someone willing to buy low.

    Kenji Johjima? If you paid half of the $24 million owed over the next three years, you might have a chance of trading him. Given his lousy year, however, that might not be enough. I’d probably keep him.

    Carlos Silva? You’d have to hand over $30-35 million of the $41 million left to even get anyone to give him a sniff. Tough call. He’s probably better than he’s showed this year, but it’s tempting to send him packing. However, $30 million is a lot of money to just give away. I’d swallow hard and keep him for another year.

    To get rid of all four next year, you’d probably have to pay other teams $25-30 million. Tempting, but highly unlikely. My guess? Washburn will be traded, Batista will be banished to middle relief, Kenji will be the starting catcher next year (with Clement DHing) and Silva filling the fifth starter slot every five days.

  12. Jasper on September 15th, 2008 8:36 pm

    “We’ll throw in these kittens with him. They’re super cute and have great clubhouse presence.”

  13. spokane dude on September 15th, 2008 8:58 pm

    I meant you’d have to pay other teams $25-30 million just in 2009. You’d also have to throw in salary for 2010 and 2011 for Johjima and Silva.

    Thank you very much, Mr. Bavasi, Mr. Armstrong and Mr. Lincoln.

  14. MattThompson on September 15th, 2008 9:21 pm

    Doesn’t any sales pitch need to start, “Well, pound for pound, he’s the best pitcher in the AL?”

  15. Steve Nelson on September 15th, 2008 9:40 pm

    We’ve got a deal with USS Mariner. If you take Silva they’ll endlessly praise your savvy while slagging us for giving up a clubhouse leader. We’ll even add in an extra $500k to cover the increase in catering costs for the post-game clubhouse spread.

  16. Breadbaker on September 15th, 2008 9:49 pm

    I’ve been reading the financial news all day. What say we get a $40 billion federal loan guarantee on his salary? And his place at the clubhouse buffet.

  17. Wilder83 on September 15th, 2008 10:25 pm

    Send Silva to Double-A and wait for him to ask for his outright release.

  18. PositivePaul on September 16th, 2008 12:02 am

    Hey Kevin — THIS guy is even more luxurious than Jeff Cirillo!

    (I think the M’s GM would have better luck negotiating with the Player’s Union to convert all contracts to non-guaranteed deals than being able to pawn The THIEF off to another team).

  19. Karen on September 16th, 2008 2:36 am

    Hypothetically, DMZ, what if the Mariners — i.e., Chuck and Howie — can’t find any “qualified” takers for that GM position? That means THEY will be making the decisions about Washburn, Silva, Batista, Beltre, etc.

    As well as determining what is meant by “qualified”…

    I have to admit, I’m even more depressed for having thought of this.

  20. bobwokc1 on September 16th, 2008 6:24 am

    “There will never be any leftovers at the meal table following the game!”

  21. TomG on September 16th, 2008 7:36 am

    “Hello. Pat Gillick’s office please….”

  22. TomG on September 16th, 2008 8:08 am

    I think the only legitimate way to move Silva without eating a large chunk of salary would be to find a big-pocket team in need of back-end pitching that has a player with an even more absurd contract but with a shorter obligation. A team like the Dodgers, really.

    I would try my ass off to move Silva for Andruw Jones. The only problem is, even though he’s probably a shell of his former self and, at $15M for 2009 incredibly expensive, he’s still a big-name player so the Mariners would probably have to pony up someone else in the deal.

  23. Gomez on September 16th, 2008 8:31 am

    There’s only one thing you can say. “We’ll eat the contract.”

  24. HamNasty on September 16th, 2008 8:46 am

    “Hello? Hello? All I hear is laughing in the back round… See Carlos no one wants you.”

  25. killer_ewok18 on September 16th, 2008 9:04 am

    We’ll He’ll eat the contract.

  26. G-Man on September 16th, 2008 10:02 am

    I think the only legitimate way to move Silva without eating a large chunk of salary would be to find a big-pocket team in need of back-end pitching that has a player with an even more absurd contract but with a shorter obligation. A team like the Dodgers, really.

    I would try my ass off to move Silva for Andruw Jones.

    TomG is on the right track. Matchmaking with another team’s bad contract has some chances to work. You just can’t take any clearly over-the-hill dude and expect a miracle, but a guy with one bad year might get enough of a psychological kick-in-the-pants from getting a new start under a different manager with new teammates. Or might not.

    I haven’t really followed Jones, but I like the possibilities. Isn’t he in his contract year next season? We have a spot for him to play, too. However, I hate NL hitters coming to Seattle; too many have had problems.

    I’d have to call the Padres, just because them seem to be our favorite trading partners. Call this the Kevin Jarvis Deal Sequel, but hope for a happier ending.

    Now the Yankees have deep pockets and a need for starting pitching, but that is just a dream.

  27. wabbles on September 16th, 2008 10:08 am

    Well, they were cute kittens, but it was their time….But seriously folks, we have to find another post-2007 Mariners team to dump Silva. We have to find another team that mistakenly believes it’s “just one or two pieces from contending” and trade him for whatever organizational fodder they are willing to give us and we pick up most of the contract, of course. Remember trading Bobby Ayala for a Single A pitcher a day or two before the season started just to get rid of him?

  28. seank100 on September 16th, 2008 10:37 am

    Convince teams it’s like getting two 150 pound pitchers at ~$5M apiece.

  29. isismajor on September 16th, 2008 10:42 am

    Convince teams it’s like getting two 150 pound pitchers at ~$5M apiece.

    Like two Tim Lincecums.

    Just send him to A-ball and make him pitch every day. He gets shelled and asks for release. Oh. He’s restricted from the clubhouse spreads. That’ll make him consider retirement.

  30. ira on September 16th, 2008 11:17 am

    Offer to trade him ( and eat his contract, or maybe he can eat his own contract along with a few slabs of ribs) for a double amputee designated hitter?

  31. edgar for mayor on September 16th, 2008 5:08 pm

    I would trade him to the Giants or Astros.

  32. SDRE on September 17th, 2008 8:19 am

    For Julio Lugo

  33. scott19 on September 17th, 2008 1:59 pm

    Put him on the value menu for $0.99.

  34. scott19 on September 17th, 2008 2:09 pm

    I would trade him to the Giants or Astros.

    I was thinking the Astros, too…especially since their FO is usually so delusional that they seem to think they’re always only “a player or two” away.

  35. vj on September 18th, 2008 2:05 am

    “His shoulder is fine”


Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.