Your handy guide to next week’s storylines

DMZ · February 12, 2009 at 8:00 am · Filed Under Mariners 
  • The Kid returns an adult: Griffey is older, wiser
  • More than just a sentimental move: Griffey to provide veteran left-handed power in the middle of the lineup
  • Seattle welcomes a grown up Junior
  • Return of the Prodigal Son: a long journey brings the Kid back to his roots
  • Once the carefree Kid, Griffey returns to mentor a young Mariner team
  • Healthy and with something to prove, Griffey seeks to rekindle flame
  • In a sport wracked by steroid scandals, Griffey’s joy is a fan’s last refuge
  • Junior moves in with his parents, to the house he built
  • After years of horror, Griffey gives M’s fans something to smile about
  • Griffey brings back memories of the glory years
  • Junior looks to contribute in different way
  • Familiar smile brings light to a dark clubhouse
  • Hall of Fame career that began here may come to a fitting close
  • Warm welcome helped convince Griffey to return
  • “I always hoped to return to Seattle,” Griffey says.
  • Griffey fails physical, deal to return appears dead

What am I missing?

Comments

32 Responses to “Your handy guide to next week’s storylines”

  1. robbbbbb on February 12th, 2009 8:08 am

    What am I missing?

    Griffey Actually Dead; Mariner Sportswriters Pay for Zombie Reanimation

  2. wabbles on February 12th, 2009 8:18 am

    Now nicknamed “The Adult,” Griffey sits back in his leather recliner and engineers the acquisition of younger brother Craig to play left field while he mans center, just like he once did with his father. M’s obtain future draft rights to Trey Griffey despite his being in junior high school.

  3. hub on February 12th, 2009 8:18 am

    What am I missing?

    “Junior Rolls Into Town…Bloggers Roll Eyes.”

  4. jfinn on February 12th, 2009 8:24 am

    Griffey cuts contract to gain support of moderate Senate Republicans.

    Griffey contract “too big to fail”

    Jack Z: “if we fail to act now, the LH bat situation will turn from a crisis to a catastrophe.”

  5. mikeym on February 12th, 2009 8:26 am

    Griffey Signing Has Immediate Impact – Physical Therapist Now Deemed Seattle’s Most Recession Proof Job

  6. TheEmrys on February 12th, 2009 8:34 am

    The return of the Six Million Dollar Man.

    Now if he could just make that cool noise when he runs. Oh wait, his knees already will.

  7. RaoulDuke37 on February 12th, 2009 8:54 am

    “My! Oh! My!”

  8. utopianlaw on February 12th, 2009 8:58 am

    At the press conference, Griffey hyperextends knee when he stands up, out for season.

    Trade for Johnson or Swisher anyway.

  9. TheSkewedObserver on February 12th, 2009 9:08 am

    Griffey Sure to Boost Season Ticket Sales!

    /snark just for AKMarinersFan

  10. sass on February 12th, 2009 9:10 am

    After years of horror, Griffey gives M’s fans something to smile about.

    Classic stuff. How about:
    “Chuck Armstrong insists he had nothing to do with the move.”

  11. JerBear on February 12th, 2009 9:21 am

    Uh-oh… From the story on the M’s page:

    Griffey, who is playing in the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am golf tournament this week, could join the Mariners in Spring Training as early as Wednesday — the day of the first full-squad workout.

    “Down on the green: Junior putts, knees explode during Pebble Beach Pro-Am golf tourney.”

  12. msb on February 12th, 2009 9:23 am

    Bloomquist saddened that he will miss the return of his childhood hero.

  13. Pete on February 12th, 2009 9:25 am

    I don’t understand why this Griffey signing prohibits another bat coming in. We all hope he fills the DH slot. Isn’t there room for Swisher in LF?

  14. Dash on February 12th, 2009 9:27 am

    I’m sure there will be at least one story with the Headline:

    “Ichiro finally achieves dream of playing along side Junior”

    But Personally I’m hoping for something like:

    “Washburn calls out Junior for wearing hat backwards”

  15. The Ancient Mariner on February 12th, 2009 9:29 am

    Here’s hoping you missed “Zduriencik deals spare rosin bags, fungo bat to Nats for 1B Johnson.”

  16. pdb on February 12th, 2009 9:37 am

    Griffey calls press conference, admits “I didn’t save baseball in Seattle”.

  17. Broadcast James on February 12th, 2009 9:48 am

    Here’s hoping you missed “Zduriencik deals spare rosin bags, fungo bat to Nats for 1B Johnson.”

    The Ancient Mariner is actually David Segui…

  18. philosofool on February 12th, 2009 9:56 am

    How about Like Father Like Son: Media Motivated Transaction bring Griffey to Seattle for uninspiring completion of career.

    I basically regard this outcome as The Phantom Menace. Uninspired capitalizing on my childhood. Hopefully he isn’t so good that we have to re-sign him only to eat his collapse when the team is promising.

  19. Mere Tantalisers on February 12th, 2009 10:10 am

    Return of the Prodigal Son: a long journey brings the Kid back to his roots

    This would constitute a misuse of the word ‘prodigal’ which means wasteful, or, after the biblical story, repentant.

  20. ChrisK on February 12th, 2009 10:11 am

    “Griffey to be featured in every Mariner commercial this year…A New Day, A New Way.”

  21. mikeym on February 12th, 2009 10:23 am

    Griffey Addresses Team: “You damn kids, get off my lawn!”

    Silva Seen Trying to Eat Griffey: “I saw that giant fork in his back, what do you expect?”

  22. JMHawkins on February 12th, 2009 10:27 am

    “Griffey to be featured in every Mariner commercial this year…A New Day, A New Way.”

    Well, you have a point there. Ichiro and Beltre can’t carry the team’s commercials all by themselvs much longer.

  23. DMZ on February 12th, 2009 10:30 am

    This would constitute a misuse of the word ‘prodigal’ which means wasteful, or, after the biblical story, repentant.

    My implication was intended to be that Griffey, having gone out into the world, regretted his decision to demand a trade and returned.

  24. GriffeyCan on February 12th, 2009 10:48 am

    How about this one?

    “If Griffey exclusively DHs against righties, he will make this team better.”

  25. Jeff Nye on February 12th, 2009 10:55 am

    That’s a reasonable statement (doesn’t really take into account the fact that multiple body parts might explode and fly into the stands at any given moment) and I don’t think anyone’s really arguing that.

    But I think we’re going to end up seeing much more of Griffey playing the field than we should, and that will almost certainly more than eliminate any value his bat adds; combine that with the fact that we’re likely to end up overpaying for him (if the 1 year $5 million number I’m seeing thrown around is accurate) and it’s not going to be a good situation.

    Plus, if as rumored the contract will have incentives for PAs, will Griffey start pouting when he doesn’t feel like he’s getting enough at-bats to get to his incentive triggers?

  26. Celadus on February 12th, 2009 11:01 am

    Nothing Can Besmirch The Titanic Apogees Of His Chryselephantine Charisma

  27. mcfly on February 12th, 2009 11:06 am

    Kinda messed up that you literally have ruined the work days of a few sportswriters. now they have to think that much harder.

  28. FrayLo on February 12th, 2009 11:37 am
  29. That Bootleg Guy on February 12th, 2009 11:43 am

    Griffey HR Powers M’s to 2-0 Start at Home – Attendance: 19,811

  30. joser on February 12th, 2009 11:44 am

    Isn’t there room for Swisher in LF?

    Perhaps, but there’s no room in the budget (Swisher’s in line to get $5.3M this year). Plus there may not be room in the OF if Griffey pulls a Raul and says he can’t hit if he’s not also playing the field. There’s no space for another starting OF (even if you assume Wlad is traded).

    Kinda messed up that you literally have ruined the work days of a few sportswriters. now they have to think that much harder.

    Having to do X “much harder” assumes they were doing X in the first place.

    “Griffey to be featured in every Mariner commercial this year…A New Day, A New Way.”

    Yeah, the cognitive dissonance between the optimistic revival the slogan embodies and the unrepentant pandering to nostalgia that Griffey represents… just makes my head hurt.

  31. jamesllegade on February 12th, 2009 4:48 pm

    Ken Griffey Jr. becomes left fielder #39

    Remember how Griffey used to jab managment’s inability to sign a decent left fielder by always calling the scrubs by their number in the litany? Like Glenn Allen Hill was always “Number 23″ when Kenny would shout at him from his leather laz-e-boy?

    Ah, sweet irony.

  32. Breadbaker on February 12th, 2009 4:55 pm

    How about “With Junior Back, Can Trey Be Far Behind?”

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