Caaaaaaaaaaaaan you feel the love tonight?

DMZ · February 19, 2009 at 10:00 am · Filed Under Mariners 

The whole Griffey saga’s produced a lot of good email lately to USSM Labs, and I thought I’d share two, sender names stripped to protect the… well, you’ll see.

The first, with no subject

Buhner pretty much put it perfectly, Griffey is home. You sabernerds probably don’t get this because YOU are NOT Mariner fans. Outsiders would never get this and they will never be as respected as the locals, keep trying fools.

Oh yeah and your pictures of your ugly wife and nerdy self have nothing to do with baseball.

And your book sucked DMZ, you are worse than A-rod. Seriousaly, what the hell were you smoking when you wrote that.

Your pal, someone who can actually hit a baseball.

And then I present this conversation, titled “Violation of Civil Rights”

I am glad people donated to your college fund. Hopefully you will
learn about the Constitution and Civil Rights and maybe take some
Journalism classes. Why you are at it , since you have taken it upon
yourself to “moderate” your comment board. I said nothing that was
offensive to children, therefore theres no reason for it to be taken


I don’t know precisely what comment you mean, but we perhaps have different ideas of what moderation is for, and how it works. If you haven’t, here:

That something is/isn’t offensive to children is not our only criteria.



You are a joke. The internet is going to leave you behind unless you
get an education. Hopefully enough people felt sorry for you enough to
give you enough for college. I just spent 30 seconds reading that
link and I find it hilarious. The only reason you are relevant is
because the internet is still fledgling. You have no legal basis to
remove one persons comments and keep someone elses, unless they curse
or make personal threats. They have software now that allows peer


123 Responses to “Caaaaaaaaaaaaan you feel the love tonight?”

  1. galaxieboi on February 19th, 2009 2:24 pm

    You’re obviously not a real fan of liberty, Civil Rights, or America for that matter, if you moderate a Mariners message board.

    I agree. Apparently the terrorists have already won.

  2. Slurve on February 19th, 2009 2:26 pm

    Wow when was liking Griffey the basis of being an M’s fan? He’s an icon of our history yes but saying there are better option than Griffey at the moment does not mean we’re anti-Griffey thus making us not mariners fans.

  3. Xteve X on February 19th, 2009 2:29 pm

    Wow, it’s like reading KJR!

    “You’re obviously not a real fan of liberty, Civil Rights, or America for that matter, if you moderate a Mariners message board.”

    And a post from Dick Cheney too! Niiice! 😀

  4. Slurve on February 19th, 2009 2:37 pm

    You guys moderate comments for reason I do not know… You’re turning the internet into a communist totalitarian state the internet would never post stupid or wrong ideas so it should not be censored. You’ve taken our freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom!

    -People are dicks.

  5. awesomenossum on February 19th, 2009 2:37 pm

    Wow! That’s incredible that you guys have to put up with crap like that. I’m sorry. Please keep up the good work!

  6. sodomojo_1 on February 19th, 2009 2:40 pm

    People should really stop criticizing his running of the site and just calm down. Really, think about how much the DMZ puts into this site just to keep it running, and if anyone thinks they can do a better job then why don’t you go start you own blog, and we’ll see how many people read that.

  7. joser on February 19th, 2009 2:51 pm

    I think the people who sent these e-mails are a representation of how the general public views the relative anonymity of the Internet. They think that they can say anything they want without consequence (well except for getting their posts deleted).

    As summed up in the GIDT.

  8. MKT on February 19th, 2009 3:11 pm

    (The ability to communicate a point without a heroic mouthpiece character giving a five-minute lecture is what distinguishes Sartre from, say, Ayn Rand.)

    Or a ten-minute soliloquy in the case of George Bernard Shaw.

    But he could be pithy too, as with Joan of Arc’s plea at the end of Saint Joan: “How long, oh Lord, how long?”. A quote which I think applies to what USSM puts up with.

  9. Carson on February 19th, 2009 3:24 pm


    I’ve always thought it would be a good idea to create a “penalty box” to where you can simply move all the posts that don’t fit your guidelines. Those who want to see the car crashes will be welcomed to watch them there. Every now and then, scrub the penalty box clean.

    Basically, a spam folder, but for blog posts.

    I heard about one forum that did something like this. It would also disallow the user from posting in any forum except one that was all pink. Other non abusive users could post there to laugh at them for being in the pink room.

  10. Evan on February 19th, 2009 3:28 pm

    Why you are at it , since you have taken it upon yourself to “moderate” your comment board.

    Regardless of how angry one is, how does one write something so clearly nonsensical?

    And we’d be lucky if Ayn Rand kept it to 5 minutes (though the quality of writing says nothing about the quality of the ideas).

  11. argh on February 19th, 2009 3:54 pm


  12. hbobrien on February 19th, 2009 4:27 pm

    “tango: so we’d have a penalty box for comments? hmmm. If only there was a way to do that in WordPress.”

    Back in the day, Wildcat software for BBSes was very flexible on security. You could entirely tailor what a user saw by their security level.

    So when one of the yammerheads would get out of hand, I’d send them an email saying they’d been promoted to “special elite status” — meaning the only people who could see and interact with them were other yammerheads.

    Not only was it a good way to get them out of the hair of the civilized members — some of them enjoyed it enough to renew their memberships.

    Yet another way Web functionality was a massive step back from BBS functionality (don’t get me started about .QWK mail, or Silly Little Mail Reader (SLiMR))

    {hal puts away the rip van winkle beard and crutches now…}

  13. 3cardmonty on February 19th, 2009 4:46 pm

    As a long-time reader and infrequent poster I’d like to offer my thanks to the authors and mods for the work they do in hastening the destruction of our free society. (I can’t help but think of that scene in The Big Lebowski where John Goodman says to the waitress, “For your information, the Supreme Court has roundly rejected prior restraint.”)

    Seriously, where do these idiots get off? Try writing a letter to the Seattle Times littered with spelling mistakes and logical fallacies and see if it gets published. Then ask them why they hate free speech.

  14. GTownHoyas on February 19th, 2009 6:19 pm

    those emails were hilarious

  15. joser on February 19th, 2009 6:20 pm

    I wonder how much, if any, of this thread those original emailers actually read. It might be amusing to see the (undoubtedly moderated) comments they would post in reply.

  16. Dugan on February 19th, 2009 6:51 pm

    I’ve been reading this blog for at least two years. It has the best blend of entertainment, reasoned baseball analysis and Mariners news and comment on the intarweb. Keep up the good work. Thanks for the laughs and the education.

    “Don’t let the bastards grind you down.”

  17. feingarden on February 19th, 2009 7:05 pm

    I’m a little disappointed that the letter writer didn’t pull out all the stops and call you a looser [sic]. This one is becoming increasingly popular with my son’s friends, one of whom wrote it on the back of his neck. I spent 2 hours just finding the damn bolts and another hour trying to figure out whether or not they were really too tight.

    Chin up, gents, and keep up the great work.

  18. bergamot on February 19th, 2009 7:20 pm

    They have software now that allows peer

    Curses! My plans for world domination are in tatters!!

    Oh well. I guess I’ll have to settle for afternoons in the Hit It Here Cafe, waiting for Junior’s next homer.

  19. SonOfZavaras on February 19th, 2009 9:45 pm

    You know, Derek & Dave- I’ve had my disagreements with you before, and given my approximation of “what-for” as a result.

    But, these guys are trying to hit below the belt.

    The ‘Net a fledgeling device? Hehehehehe. That’s classic in an entirely different sub-set of classics. It’d be interesting to see just what that poster thinks it’s going to grow into from here.

  20. huckleB on February 19th, 2009 10:14 pm


  21. qwerty on February 19th, 2009 10:40 pm

    #2 is the same kind of person who wants to bring back the “Fairness” Doctrine. Can’t allow anyone the freedom to disagree….nosiree…

  22. DaveValleDrinkNight on February 20th, 2009 1:08 am


    The second commenter there must have been that guy selling the hot dog cart!

    No wonder he’s pissed, “Yu jest rooined a greet bussiness opportoonitee!”

  23. Colm on February 20th, 2009 1:31 pm

    Thank you, Diplomatic Shark. You obviously know a great deal more about Sartre than I do (not hard). And seemingly more about Ayn Rand too (I’m starting to feel sorry for you).

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