Actual email

DMZ · July 13, 2009 at 8:57 am · Filed Under Mariners 

We get a ton of email here at USSM. A lot of spam*, pointers to stories, requests for tickets, whatever. But I thought I’d share this one, which arrived with no subject.

from what i see you have already sold out to the man. the only good thing the mariners have done was to get rid of yuni. the rest of the moves have been really stupid

They’re serious. Somewhere out there is a Mariner fan who thinks, among other things, that Branyan sucks, the Putz trade was bad, and on and on and on. Our work will never be done.

Also, if we sold out to the man, could someone tell me where the check went?

Random other stuff:
– I did a footer fix based on a reader suggestion (remember, patches are welcome here at USSM)
– the AdSense block that made us like $1 was wayyyy too spammy with the Evony ads and all so I nuked it.
– As long as I’m selling out to the man, I have another story in the August Asimov’s, as long as I’m at it. Check it out.
– I was 6m off from doing the STP in under 11 hours this year.

* particularly link exchange requests, paid link offers, and so on

Comments

27 Responses to “Actual email”

  1. coasty141 on July 13th, 2009 9:08 am

    “I was 6m off from doing the STP in under 11 hours this year”

    Nice work DMZ. I’ve got a couple of friend who I’d consider in decent/good shape and I think they were 13hrs plus range.

  2. pygmalion on July 13th, 2009 9:11 am

    Boo fools!

    Yay Asimov’s!

    And, for good measure, the Evony ads were awful.

  3. joser on July 13th, 2009 9:11 am

    Yeah, selling high on Putz and acquiring Gutierrez and Chavez (let alone all the bonus minor league talent) in no way qualifies as a “good thing.” If “Franklin Gutierrez, your starting center fielder” isn’t the very definition of a “good thing,” you’re beyond help.

    Oh, and Branyan and Vargas and that Aardsma guy.

    Also, I think “the man” would pay for better servers and a professional site redesign, at least. Isn’t that what LookoutLanding got when they sold their souls?

  4. skjes on July 13th, 2009 9:12 am

    I’m confused how someone could both believe that Yuni sucks (which some fans still didn’t realize!) and yet still think the Putz trade was a bad one for this team.

  5. DMZ on July 13th, 2009 9:12 am

    I should mention that’s on-bike time. I plan to email all my power data to anyone who ever says we’re out of shape basement dwellers. (“See that power peak where I crack 1,000 watts? Yeah.”)

  6. monty1077 on July 13th, 2009 9:14 am

    DMZ did you get nominated for a Hugo?

  7. DMZ on July 13th, 2009 9:20 am

    I wish.

  8. Jeff Nye on July 13th, 2009 9:23 am

    Yeah, I’ve seen the Evony ads elsewhere. They’re pretty hilarious.

  9. robbbbbb on July 13th, 2009 9:24 am

    Let’s see: DMZ writes a sci-fi piece titled, “Blue.” I suspect it’s about what happens when we replace umpires with mechanical thinking machines, who then proceed to take over the world!

  10. Mike Snow on July 13th, 2009 9:27 am

    Well, clearly if we hadn’t traded Putz, it wouldn’t have occurred to Morrow that he should be the closer. The fact that he still has no command and no reliable pitch other than a fastball is entirely Franklin Gutierrez’s fault.

  11. msb on July 13th, 2009 9:33 am

    I hate it when people sell out to The Man.

  12. Mike Snow on July 13th, 2009 9:46 am

    But don’t you see, he hasn’t sold out to The Man, he’s only sold out to the man. Maybe if he’d sold out to The Man, he could have gotten real money.

    Moderation tangent: criminal underuse of the shift key, as exemplified by this email, is one of biggest reasons why people flunk their auditions as new commenters.

  13. Paul B on July 13th, 2009 9:52 am

    When you get an email that is in all lower case, or has no punctuation, or no paragraph breaks, you just know it is going to be interesting.

    In the same way a train wreck is interesting.

  14. fiftyone on July 13th, 2009 9:55 am

    In defense of the e-mailer, Zduriencik has made a couple of bonehead moves. When he tore up Chavez’ knee and then shut Beltre down for a couple of months, those really killed the season, for sure.

  15. kimalanus on July 13th, 2009 9:55 am

    Derek, sir, I have been reading the site for a while, but did not realize you were an SF author. I help organize RadCon, an Inland Northwest fan convention on President’s Day Weekend in Pasco, WA since 1992. We are always looking for local talent for guests and pros. Attendance last year was 2000+, we are not a small con. If you can email me offline at my subscribed account or at gaming@radcon.org, I would be happy to provide more info.

    And, Mariner’s conversation in February. Scarce around here. ;o)

    thanks
    kim

  16. TomG on July 13th, 2009 10:11 am

    I plan to email all my power data to anyone who ever says we’re out of shape basement dwellers

    .

    Oh, so you’re in-shape basement dwellers…

    /ducks chair

  17. lucky on July 13th, 2009 10:12 am

    Thank you for nuking Envoy.

  18. Evan on July 13th, 2009 10:24 am

    Oh, so you’re in-shape basement dwellers…

    There’s really no excuse for us basement dwellers to be out of shape anymore – not since the invention of the Bowflex…

  19. andystacy on July 13th, 2009 10:54 am

    Loved the link to Coding Horror. I avidly follow his blog and upon his last post, I thought to myself, “yeah, I’ve seen those Evony ads on USS Mariner!” Glad to see you’re on top of things in website management…among other things, of course! Do you follow Jeff Atwood’s blog too, or did you just happen upon his last post?

  20. georgmi on July 13th, 2009 12:27 pm

    Oh, wow. I had no idea you had sold out. I’m glad I found out though, because now I can never read this blog again.

    And I want a refund on my subscription.

  21. JMHawkins on July 13th, 2009 12:35 pm

    They’re serious. Somewhere out there is a Mariner fan who thinks, among other things, that Branyan sucks, the Putz trade was bad, and on and on and on. Our work will never be done.

    Remember, last year caused a lot of heavy drinking among M’s fans. There may still be a few fans looking at the season through bottlegoggles.

    the AdSense block that made us like $1 was wayyyy too spammy with the Evony ads and all so I nuked it.

    So what am I supposed to do now if I want to save Queen Cleavage from the, well, whoever the bad guys are? ESPN commentators, I imagine.

    Also, if we sold out to the man, could someone tell me where the check went?

    Tom Hicks, so he could make payroll.

  22. Carson on July 13th, 2009 2:13 pm

    See, this is why I’m always reluctant to email you guys stuff. I figure you’ve seen so much crap, you might not give a lot of it much thought. Or, the spam filter nabbed it.

    I did send you guys an email about joining in on the development of a baseball MMORPG that will be going on before too long. The makers of the football game I play/mod for are doing baseball next.

    I for one am stoked for it, so find my email address in my account or something if you didn’t catch it.

  23. mcfly on July 13th, 2009 2:27 pm

    I was on vacation in Maine, stopped in a random bookstore and picked up a copy of Asimov’s to browse, and lo and behold, there was another Zumsteg! I totally bought it, and tried to explain the significance to the cashier. I may have well spoke Martian to her.

  24. 1000N on July 13th, 2009 3:00 pm

    The reader e-mail would be really funny if it weren’t so sad. Over the weekend, many of us noticed that Hannahan’s 0 for 2 start with Seattle on Saturday was actually really productive because it took something like 13 pitches for him to go 0 for 2, thereby helping to get Millwood up to 115 pitches so that Johnson could crush the 116th. My good friend and fellow fan Dan pointed out that replacing Woodward’s crummy RH bat with Hannahan’s crummy LH bat with better defense is actually a huge upgrade. I suppose if you don’t look beyond Hannahan’s .143 BA, things look more bleak than they really.

    This is one of those years when I hate the All Star break because it means no more M’s until Thursday.

  25. beef on July 13th, 2009 3:18 pm

    wheeee.

    nothing like being the focus of a SLOG post.

  26. Arkinese on July 13th, 2009 4:08 pm

    When you get an email that is in all lower case, or has no punctuation, or no paragraph breaks, you just know it is going to be interesting.

    In the same way a train wreck is interesting.

    I concur — but would add that it’s best when the only punctuation used is used incorrectly.

    Congrats to DMZ on the story. As a short story writer, it’s good to know that the medium is still alive (despite novelists’ claims that it’s not).

  27. joser on July 14th, 2009 12:45 am

    I totally bought it, and tried to explain the significance to the cashier. I may have well spoke Martian to her.

    You could’ve just said “I totally know one of the authors in here! He’s an ecquaintance of mine!”

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