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Twittah
Perfect.
I’d say that’s an accurate representation, except I don’t know if we have any buildings still standing.
Yikes, we’re going to have to start digging up the pony jpegs? Who is the rider this time around — Sweeney?
Thanks Dave, I think we all needed a laugh after the chuckle we got from looking at the scoreboard (or the division standings) turned to tears.
So I guess the “what can we realistically expect for Cliff Lee” post is coming soon? Assuming anybody is willing to give more than the equivalent to Type A compensation?
Hilarious.
2010 Seattle Mariners: Scorched Earth
amen.
Best thing to come out of this season.
If we do, it’s the outhouse.
Is Silva being undefeated like salt in the wound?
Or, to (semi-)quote The Bloodhound Gang, “We don’t need no water…let the m-f’er burn!”
Awww. Turn that frown upside down, li’l buckaroo!!
Actually, this picture is fairly accurate, since this whole season thus far has reminded me of a bad episode of Emergency! or Rescue Me.
A picture is worth a thousand words. Thanks Dave.
At least Fluffy was rescued, and with only minor smoke inhalation and second-degree burns. Alas nothing else could be saved.
is this LL? i guess there would have to be some kind of stick figure drawn in the image!
Costello: So you’re the manager of this team?
Wakabbott: Yes, I am.
Costello: I’d like to know the names of the players.
Wakabbott: Well, sure. Who Cares is on First, WTF is on Second…
Costello: Who’s on First?
Wakabbott: No, Who Cares is on First, WTF is on Second, I Don’t Know is, is…
Costello: …
Wakabbott: Lou, aren’t you supposed to interrupt me here?
Costello: Why?
Wakabbott: No, he’s the Left Fielder, but you’re jumping ahead. I said Who Cares is on First, WTF is on Second…
Costello: …
Wakabbott: Lou, that’s your cue. Aren’t you going to make me clarify the guys names?
Costello: No, I think I know them all.
Wakabbott: You do?
Costello: Sure. Who Cares is on First, WTF is on Second, I Don’t Know Why He’s On The Team is at Third, Today He’ll Get Shelled is pitching, and Tomorrow He Still Won’t Be Able To Catch is behind the plate. Franklin Gutierrez is in Center and Ichiro is in right – they clearly don’t belong on the same team as the rest of these guys – and everyone else might as well be named Nobody Cares At This Point.
Wakabbott: Well, that’s certainly not as funny as the routine we rehearsed.
Costello: Nope, it isn’t. Maybe we better do another Monster movie instead.
Dave Sims just now, “The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire.”
9 years and counting without the playoffs….. Was freaking 8th grade the last time the M’s were in the playoffs. Yeah it’s been a fun 9 years!
I would go with this pic to describe my thoughts on this year’s team (work safe).
I turned on the game in the 7th, all I could do is laugh.
The building that’s not completely burnt is just to the right of what looks like some snow on the ground. That must be where Ichiro and Guti are hanging out. Maybe we can trade them both along with Cliff Lee for Adam Jones, Jose Guillen, and Carlos Silva. Then in two years we can select Jeff Clement with the number one pick in the draft. Go Mariners!
Perfect photo, season is gone… time for fire sale… so who isn’t for sale? Ichiro, Guti, Felix are off limits, anybody else? I say no. There is not one other Mariner besides those 3 that I would hate to see go. Of course I would love keeping Cliff Neverwalk but let’s get real. NY Daily News reported today the Yankees say they don’t need a starter which means….. they want Lee. Rob ‘em blind Z. Let the hot stove season begin!
The Silva thing should bother no one. The thing that should bother everyone is that this is probably gonna happen again next season, it may not be as bad but ya……
I love Cliff Lee and I wish we could keep a pitcher of his caliber but yeah, he’s probably itching to get out of this trainwreck so lets hope GMZ turns him into some top prospects that can help us win soon.
You are all completely wrong. This is a horrible representation of our season. That house looks like it was a piece of shit before the burn. An accurate representation would be a beautiful, brand new, expansive mansion on a hill that has burned ALL THE WAY to the ground, surrounded by a group of people, half of whom are holding fire hoses aimed at the inferno, while the other half are behind them, kinking the hoses so they produce nothing more than a fucking trickle.
This team was never a beautiful expansive mansion.
Um…does this mean we’re having a fire sale?
Would you believe…a double-wide with a hot tub?
Sure, I’ll go with that. A double-wide.. with hot tub (Felix) and a 24′ Chris Craft in the car port (Cliff Lee). But uh-oh… The repo man just showed up to trailer that baby out of there.
JMHawkins, niiiiiiiiiiiiiice. Kudos.
I’m not so sure we shouldn’t hold on to Lee…certainly I don’t think we should cough him up unless it’d just be stupid to pass up a prospective deal (like Montero from the Yankees or F-Mart and Mejia from the Mets).
But those draft picks we’d get plus what’s looking like our protected pick- in a loaded and getting-more-so draft class?
I’m not so sure the better value isn’t there to begin with.
C’mon man. After we got Cliff Lee, you didn’t let your imagination run a little bit? “If we can just sneak into the playoffs, our rotation is Felix, Lee, Bedard…” That never went through your head? I tried to temper my expectations, but, frankly, there were many times I was convinced this team WAS an expansive mansion. Clearly I’m exaggerating a bit, but, going into this season it seemed the sky was limit. To be six feet under already warrants the hyperbole. It’s fucking sad. It’s fucking embarrassing. I wish I’d held out on buying my customized Jack Z jersey (ya, that’s real). Maybe you disagree, but, whatever. Here’s to fucking next year.
Wow…make that a bad episode of The Rockford Files instead!
I would love to be a fly on the wall in the clubhouse and the manager’s office after this one.
This many comments, and I’m the first one to make a “Burning Down the House!” reference? Sheesh. Kids today…
Cue the looters.
Just so we are clear, the all OBP team with no power does not work, right? Next time we head down this road I would like to have this day book marked. Also about 2 weeks late on the fire…. Man Silva is laughing his fat ass off….. I hate this team…. I just want to know which team we will be sending all are good prospects to next, so I can go be there fan….
Really bad structure there sorry.
Aardsma needs that “Talking Heads” song for his ninth inning entrance.
PERFECTION.
The Mariners are 26th in the league in OBP. If you really think this is an indictment of the “all OBP” philosophy, you haven’t been paying attention.
Nice! I love it Dave. The last little bits of hope went out the window today with Ian Snell tossing BP to the Rangers.
Ha ha, yeah you might want to actually, oh I don’t know… LOOK UP the Mariners’ OBP before making a statement like that.
Nice job, Dave. Very funny!
Depressing yet true. Trade ‘em all. Trade everyone but Guti and Felix. As much as it pains me to say it, Ichi deserves to be on a contender and Seattle is not it =(
My wife immediately thought of this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGWmONHipVo
I think an implosion would be closer, though.
First time poster.
Long time Baker Blog reader, started reading USSM this season. Enjoy blog posts and all of your comments thoroughly.
As for the picture – just awesome.
I think he meant that Z built a team of players with historically good OBP but not power. Not that they were good at OBP this year. Of course I don’t know if that is true or not. What were our 9 starters career OBP’s going into the season? Were they above average? And is that even what he meant?
Well, it doesn’t really matter what they were before. Unless you think that being on an “all OBP” team kills a players OBP, this team is not representative of an all OBP team. So saying because the Mariners suck, all OBP teams don’t work, is silly.
Believe Big
My only solace, I think, is that here in the Chicago area most baseball fans are so uninformed and/or obsessed with the Cubs or White Sox that a great many of them have no idea what the “S” on my ball cap stands for. They probably think it’s some minor league team, which, well…
Dave: Exactly. Add a big M’s Logo in the corner, and some chirpy catch-phrase along the bottom, and you could sell it for the 2010 team poster.
That was a great tune too, BTW!
Like maybe the team from Sheboygan, perhaps?
Don’t worry, though…most of the “typical” Chicago sports crowd will have their new toy, the Blackhawks, to play with for a day or so!
On a side note, is anyone pissed that Cliff Lee could (will) be a farking Yankee next year (or next week)? Him and CC would be dominating in any post season series…baseball needs to be fixed asap. I hate those guys so much.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fBKvoIe0xRs
I love this Bill Burr interview after last years Yankee win. Brilliant.
I believe this to be a more appropriate description of our season (safe for work)
Hopefully, Jesus Montero (if that’s who the M’s wind up getting for Lee) will not turn out to be the “next” Miguel Olivo.
BTW (forgot to mention it…), for JMHawkins: that was great.
I was thinking of this season as a sort of prank on Mariners fans.
The photo I imagined was a flaming paper bag full of fresh dog shit put on our collective porch. We can still hear the doorbell ringing as we foolishly stomp out the blaze.
A batting title and 270 hits, please, Mr. Suzuki.
batting title for my suzuki would be great…or…do we possibly dangle ichiro out there as bait? I seriously doubt it, but I would consider all options if I was Z
Hopefully, Jesus Montero (if that’s who the M’s wind up getting for Lee) will not turn out to be the “next” Miguel Olivo.
Miguel Olivo’s current BA and OPS in 168 PAs for Colorado is .315 and .944.
Yeah…finally…
He sure sucked while he was with the M’s, though, unfortunately.
Montero has been aided by a above-average BABIP. But his ISO is encouraging. What are the reports on his defense, and pitch calling?
I’d like to say “just look at what the Nat’s have done in 2 yrs, lets just suck and get the next big thing in the draft!”…….But then I think about the O’s and Pirates and realize there are no gurantees! They’ve sucked for so long nobody seems to notice that they are not getting any better!
So, whats our remedy? What do we got to do from here to compete again?……..other than hit the ball!
Unlike the O’s and the Bucs, we have great ownership and semi deep pockets, plus a willingness to win…. I dont think we will ever be like those teams. I see us more like the Twins, who did well in drafts and worked up from what they had in the system, and then traded big pieces away for talent.
I would love Lee here next year, but the reality is that we are going to be counting on Vargas and maybe Fister quite a lot in the coming years, plus our big contract with King Felix, which will pan out.
Our pitching will be good, we need a catcher, a first basemen, and a shortstop. Ackley will be our shortstop, Saunders will be left field, but we need a catcher not named Moore.
Someone needs to do a mock MacGruber video, using audio of Jack as MacGruber and Wak as Kristen Wiig — with the audio talking about how things are going to be fixed — and then a screenshot of the standings, perhaps stock footage of the Kingdome being imploded and then “MACGRUBER!”
Just sayin’…
Ive heard that we probably wont get Montero from the Yankess but we could get Romine. I found this passage on Romine:
The younger brother of infielder Andrew, Austin Romine was a two way player in the Buster Posey fashion, acting as his high school closer as well as everyday catcher. As you might expect, he has one of the best cannons to second of any catcher in the minors today. At the plate he has doubles power and an easy swing, which looks projectable to 20-30 homer power someday. He’s quite a way away from Yankee Stadium, but he’s a hard worker with enough raw talent to get there sooner or later.
Has anyone else noticed that Montero appears to hit into an insane amount of double plays? So far this year he has 11 GIDP in just 50 games. That’s not good.
So far this year the Mariners have scored 4 runs or more in 28 games with a winning percentage of 68%. In the 31 games in which they have scored 3 runs or less they are posting a robust 13% winning percentage.
Stand back, behold the forest!
Hogwash, that car was ‘hitting’ everything, the M’s not so much.
I’d been wondering what Ron Fairly was doing in his retirement.
Yep, not having the favorite whipping boys (Griffey and Sweeney) in the lineup has made all the difference…
The goddamned plane has crashed into the mountain!
Miguel Olivo’s current BA and OPS in 168 PAs for Colorado is .315 and .944.
Miguel Olivo is almost 32 years old, and has a lifetime MLB OPS of .715, including his games at sea level.
Ok, this season is fast becoming a repeat of 2 years ago.
Face it folks the team has a major league suckage factor.Like the rest of us, I bought into the hype like all of us. But this is almost beyond horrible.
I want a refund on the $100 I spent on MLB TV for my laptop. And the $20 for MLB At Bat for my IPhone
Yep, not having the favorite whipping boys (Griffey and Sweeney) in the lineup has made all the difference…
In actuality, the M’s offense is better since Griffey got benched- if you figure May 19th is when he lost his starting DH spot, we’ve scored 4.1 runs per game since, as opposed to 3.3 before. Oh, and we’ve gone 9-10 since May 19, and we were 14-26 before then.
The problem is the roster as it’s currently constructed is maybe a 75-80 win roster- oh, hey, look, we’re playing about how you’d expect the last few weeks, how about that. We’re just losing differently now.
DMZ FTW!!
I am with all of the other posters who find the picture strangely too optimistic. Maybe if we found out that all of our baseball card collections were in that house, along with every copy of Ken Griffey, Jr. Baseball for SNES, then it might feel more accurate.
All kidding aside, though, this sucks.
I feel like I’m being punished for being a Mariners fan this year. I was so excited for baseball season to start I even shelled out $100 so I could watch all the games on MLB.com.
And Carlos Fucking Silva is 8-0 and laughing all the way to Sizzler…
So what you’re saying is the Mariners are more likely to win when they score more runs than when they score fewer runs. How unique.
This pic is just exactly how I feel. Hey did anyone catch Mike Blowers comments Tues night on how he would arrange the line up?
You think we feel bad. Imagine how people like Sims, Blowers, Niehaus and Drayer must feel — all dependent on displaying an energetic, public smiley face good clubhouse attitude to keep their jobs with still 103 agonizing games to go. Their liquor bills must be growing exponentially.
I did not catch Blowers’ comments, but I can only assume that he used the phrase “No question about it.”
Speaking of Blowers and Fairly, do people still prefer Captain Certainty (Blowers) over Captain Obvious (Fairly).
Dave given all the rearanging deck chairs comments, this might be a more fitting picture.
Yep, I think it is to the point we grab a couple of cold ones and watch her burn.
Yeah. If anything, the 2010 Mariners are yet another indictment of the “all sucky-OBPs” philosophy.
I don’t/didn’t mind either one. They both beat the alternatives of Hendu and Valle, that’s for sure.
Wow, at the same time? The guy must be fast!
Oh, man. That was an epic Derek cameo.
They need to trade Cliff Lee in the next 2 weeks…..a team would be willing to pay more than 2 prospects if they were getting 3-4 months of him.
As for the Silva trade, starting pitching isn’t the biggest issue with this team. There is 0% chance he’d be undefeated on the Mariners. You have to make that trade for Milton Bradley again.
I agree 100%…but it still sucks
The Mariner bullpen was seen entering the building just before the fire began.
What’s really discouraging about this season is how quickly they can rack up a string of losses like a teenager scarfing down slices of pizza. Blink your eyes, and they’ve dropped 5 straight.
Conversely, small win streaks or even single wins feel like a torturous mountain climb.
I think I need a primer on how to use the “bquote” tab. Sorry about that.
don’t know who has been the worst performer: Snell, Kotchman, or Sims…
I thought they were trying Ackley out at 2B and OF, and Truinfel was gonna be the future at SS?
This made me happy when i saw it. I am also happy the World Cup starts in 7 hours.