Podcast: The Mariners are Really Upsetting

Matthew Carruth · April 25, 2013 at 8:51 am · Filed Under Mariners 

The last time Jeff and I recorded a podcast, the Mariners had just dropped a series to the Astros, a team we were confident that the Mariners should steamroll. This time is different though because this time the Mariners dropped a series to the Astros in Houston. Also, now we’ve lost most if not all expectations that the Mariners are significantly better than the Astros. The season starting Mariners probably were, but that team is already gone.

So, big time warning here on the explicitness. Really. We are displeased and since we don’t script or rehearse these beforehand our displeasure typically manifests itself in a string of curses. Do not play this over your speakers at work. Do not play this around people with fragile sensitivities. Perhaps just don’t play this. Go outside instead, it’s pretty enjoyable out there. The Mariners are not enjoyable.

Podcast with Jeff and Matthew: Direct link! || iTunes link! || RSS/XML link!


32 Responses to “Podcast: The Mariners are Really Upsetting”

  1. kbarnhouse on April 25th, 2013 8:56 am

    What’s your podcast called so I can search for it? I can’t click the link from work, and if I click it on my phone it takes me to iTunes, but not to the podcast.

  2. John W. on April 25th, 2013 9:52 am

    If we could somehow steal the SB Nation commenting system, this site would be absolutely perfect. Thank you for another great podcast.

  3. John W. on April 25th, 2013 10:01 am

    GM candidate: Who was the fat guy in the movie Moneyball? Let’s hire that dude, if that dude exists. If not, let’s just hire the actor.

  4. WalterNeff on April 25th, 2013 10:27 am

    John W. – he’s VP Player Development for the Mets. The 2nd place Mets.

  5. Matthew Carruth on April 25th, 2013 10:31 am

    @kbarnhouse it’s currently listed as StatCorner Podcast

  6. John W. on April 25th, 2013 10:37 am

    WalterNeff: Just read DePodesta’s wikipedia. I want him, it’s not even a joke anymore.

  7. big hawna on April 25th, 2013 10:42 am

    Awesome boys… Blow em up…

  8. msfanmike on April 25th, 2013 10:50 am

    Matthew: “The team is toxically un-entertaining.”

    Well said.

  9. John W. on April 25th, 2013 10:51 am

    Whoa! fcb’s comment on the last podcast really stuck… I didn’t know you guys read these things!

  10. LongDistance on April 25th, 2013 11:12 am

    I had to listen to this twice, because I got laughing so hard after 3:50 minutes, and couldn’t find anywhere to recover…

    This is classic…

    For sheer frustration, I put it right up there with the Troggs Tape…

  11. djw on April 25th, 2013 11:23 am

    I can’t listen at work, but however profane it is, I’m quite sure it’s not profane enough.

  12. Westside guy on April 25th, 2013 12:11 pm

    Re: getting the podcast – on iOS, if you’ve got Apple’s Podcast app installed, you can just click on the “RSS/XML” link and it’ll go right to it.

  13. GarForever on April 25th, 2013 12:34 pm

    Thanks, gentlemen, for an entertaining and validating podcast. Jeff — I read your recaps so I didn’t HAVE to watch, so there was part of your audience, anyway.

    I am convinced Wedge and Z *want* to get fired at this point, and who can fucking blame them? The idea of being obliged to stir this shit stew 139 more times this summer? No thanks. I mean, not that Thames is the future, but not any less so than Peguero, and — oh yeah — he’s better at pretty much every aspect of baseball and is currently torching AAA. Yes, if Peguero gets a hold of one it can be a moonshot, but that’s the trick isn’t it? Reminds me of what my dad used to say whenever commentators would rave about Omar Moreno’s ability to steal bases back in the day: “That’s great, but you can’t steal first base.”

  14. demon777 on April 25th, 2013 12:41 pm

    What about Mike Carp. I know SSS but his slash is .417/.462/.833… Our outfield last year was better and cheaper. Carp and Wells were way better than Ibanez and Bay. End of story.

  15. firova2 on April 25th, 2013 12:48 pm

    Tears and a measure of catharsis. I have a feeling I’ll be listening again at later low points of the season just to help me through. I’m really beginning to wonder what is wrong with me. I still do tend to schedule things around the games. I got MLB At Bat so I could actually see the suckfest live. I’ve long said that being a Mariners fan (since 1977) builds character, but I guess I need to figure out what kind.

  16. GarForever on April 25th, 2013 12:50 pm

    Actually, I think I’ve figured out the rationale behind signing Ibanez. The two previous times he departed (after 2000 and 2009), the M’s improved the next year by 25 and 24 games, respectively. He’s part of the overall “plan” to compete in 2014!

  17. GarForever on April 25th, 2013 12:51 pm

    I hear you, firova2, but if I gain any more character from being an M’s fan, I’m going to be two people.

  18. Liam on April 25th, 2013 12:52 pm

    Thanks, I really needed this today. (In a completely non-sarcastic way)

  19. IdahoFan on April 25th, 2013 1:15 pm

    So, we should just think of Chone Figgins as the gift that keeps on giving?

  20. Smoaking Prohibited on April 25th, 2013 1:19 pm

    Thank you very much for this. Best opening to any podcast I’ve heard in a long time.


    I know you said you were not fishing for compliments, but I read your recaps because they were brilliant. Your titles alone would make me laugh out loud constantly. I also learned quite a bit from you, so I appreciate that as well. I know so many non-Mariners fans who enjoyed your recaps and other works.

    Being a Mariners fan in Texas, ya’ll’s podcast gave some true feelings of commiseration and justification (i.e., “hey, I’m not alone”). Anyway, thank you both, and look forward to the next one.

  21. skjes on April 25th, 2013 1:22 pm

    I actually cancelled my At Bat after yesterday.

    Also, “I hope you get Franklin Gutierrez Disease” is my new favorite curse.

  22. groundzero55 on April 25th, 2013 1:23 pm

    One of you guys has voice characteristics really similar to Jeff Goldblum.

  23. KDC88 on April 25th, 2013 1:25 pm

    Somehow, you two make everything so entertaining, even the Mariners futility. That’s why I keep reading both of your posts all these years, your able to put an entertaining perspective on the Mariners. With that in mind, I could listed you the both of you do podcasts daily, and I would be happy.

  24. AllHailKingFefe on April 25th, 2013 1:28 pm

    Listening to the portion of the podcast where you “cant imagine anybody clearing their schedule to watch one of these games”. I agree for the most part, but every fifth day is something special that we might not get to see forever, so I do my best to catch as many of his starts as humanly possible

  25. Westside guy on April 25th, 2013 1:41 pm

    PLEASE STOP making suggestions regarding acquiring players based on a small number of at bats – that’s how the team got into this mess!

    Mike Carp has exactly 13 plate appearances. Over those 13 plate appearances, he has a BABIP of .556. He is NOT the solution to the Mariners problems, even in the short term – we already HAVE a good first baseman to replace Smoak this year.

    Jason Bay had an OPS of over 1.200 after a similar number of at bats – ’nuff said.

  26. godtomsatan on April 25th, 2013 1:41 pm

    I was going to echo what AHKF just posted. As terrible as wringing your necks from your spreadsheets to watch a cruddy baseball team may be, Felix Hernandez is pitching like a god right now. For the sheer love of the game of baseball, he is a must see event every time he goes out there.

  27. wetzelcoatl on April 25th, 2013 2:03 pm

    This is the best part of the season so far.

  28. IwearMsHats on April 25th, 2013 3:17 pm

    It would be very Mariners for this to happen: Ms fire Zduriencik
    Phillies fire RAJ, M’s hire RAJ 🙁

  29. G-Man on April 25th, 2013 4:10 pm

    Gee guys, tell us how you really feel. 🙂

    Don’t blame you a bit. Looking at the schedule to come, after what they could NOT do with the Astros, it doesn’t seem possible that they’ll ever crack the .400 winning percentage. That would mean 65 W’s on the season – ouch. Wedge and JZ don’t look long for this city.

    But like the stock market, things can turn around when you least expect them. I’ll watch and attend (now and then) with reduced expectations, and get surprised from time to time.

  30. texasmarinerfan on April 25th, 2013 4:37 pm

    Well Jeff to answer your question about who you were writing for in July and August it was the Mariners fans who relied on you to relieve us of the suckage of the Mariners.

  31. Rick Banjo on April 25th, 2013 10:42 pm

    You know that itch that Louis C.K. can scratch?

    This podcast scratched that itch.

  32. StatisticallyInsignificant on April 26th, 2013 4:49 pm

    Best. Podcast. Ever.

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