First Half In Review: Mariners Go Sailing

Jeff Sullivan · July 21, 2013 at 11:28 pm · Filed Under Mariners 

In a belated continuation of another stupid tradition, here we’ll summarize each player’s first half with a selected word(s) from the Wikipedia page for “mariner“.

Alex Liddi

  • discharge

Brad Miller

  • propulsion

Brandon Bantz

  • who

Brendan Ryan

  • range

Carlos Peguero

  • non-profit

Carlos Triunfel

  • available

Dustin Ackley

  • emergency

Endy Chavez

  • regular

Franklin Gutierrez

  • memory

Henry Blanco

  • responsibilities

Jason Bay

  • comfortable

Jesus Montero

  • cold

Jesus Sucre

  • professional

Justin Smoak

  • key

Kelly Shoppach

  • damp

Kendrys Morales

  • steady

Kyle Seager

  • integral

Michael Morse

  • maintenance

Michael Saunders

  • surprising

Mike Zunino

  • plans

Nick Franklin

  • powered

Raul Ibanez

  • murderous rampage

Robert Andino

  • role

Aaron Harang

  • baseball

Blake Beavan

  • person

Bobby LaFromboise

  • also

Brandon Maurer

  • ordinary

Carter Capps

  • fire

Charlie Furbush

  • assistant

Danny Farquhar

  • dangerous

Erasmo Ramirez

  • off

Felix Hernandez

  • master

Hector Noesi

  • interesting

Hisashi Iwakuma

  • chief

Jeremy Bonderman

  • remains

Joe Saunders

  • safety

Kameron Loe

  • sewage

Lucas Luetge

  • contact

Oliver Perez

  • control

Stephen Pryor

  • injury

Tom Wilhelmsen

  • variation

Yoervis Medina

  • improved


9 Responses to “First Half In Review: Mariners Go Sailing”

  1. Westside guy on July 21st, 2013 11:46 pm

    I thought I was going to catch you on “murderous rampage” – but, son of a gun, it’s actually there!

  2. dbroncos31 on July 22nd, 2013 12:26 am

    Lost it at too many of them to count, but almost cried laughing at Kam Loe’s. Comedic genius

  3. Slats on July 22nd, 2013 5:24 am

    Amazing Jeff.

  4. ChrisFB on July 22nd, 2013 7:11 am

    Your post, also per the aforementioned article: “distinguished”.

  5. dogjutsu on July 22nd, 2013 7:38 am

    Oh man, I lost it at ‘murderous rampage’.

    The whole thing is just comedic gold (while somehow managing to be a pretty damn good review of the first half, given the word count!)

  6. Paul B on July 22nd, 2013 8:20 am


  7. mironos on July 22nd, 2013 9:32 am

    Somehow this seems most appropriate:

    Blake Beaven — person

  8. dnc on July 22nd, 2013 11:54 am

    Bonderman: remains… well done

  9. bat guano on July 22nd, 2013 1:43 pm

    Howard Lincoln—isolation
    Chuck Armstrong—junior assistant purser
    Jack Zduriencik—lifeboat
    Eric Wedge—sleeping

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.