September 22, 2003 · Filed Under Mariners · Comments Off on  

Rrrrrrrrrrrandy Winn.

It’s good to be reminded tonight that even if the M’s aren’t going to get to the playoffs, baseball’s still a good game to watch.

September 22, 2003 · Filed Under Mariners · Comments Off on  

Top Ten Things to Do When You Get Your Playoff Ticket Money Back Sometime This Offseason Minus the Ridiculous Non-Refundable Handling Fee*

1. Spend it on ripple and fast women**

2. Send it to us as a bribe to try and win a coveted U.S.S. Mariner post-season award

3. Book a spring training vacation through Expedia. Mmm… Expedia.

4. Check out Jason’s recommendation of the Library Bistro.

5. Buy CDs from cool local bands like The Lawnmowers. Try to stick to labels that aren’t RIAA members, but I understand if you don’t.

6. Drink to forget. This may take a while and a substantial portion of your deposit.

7. Drink to remember. Oh, those halcyon years, when the M’s made a run at it… sniff.

8. Take your spouse/[boy or girl]-friend/parents/grand-parents out to a nice dinner. Find out what they’ve been up to these last six months. Assure them this won’t happen in future seasons.

9. Book a vacation to beautiful North Carolina through Expedia and hang out with Dave***. Mmm, Dave.

10. Buy torch, pitchfork at local hardware store, join others, run front office out of town.

* which will likely take a while, since keeping your money = interest income for the team, but you should absolutely demand your deposit back. Don’t roll it over into season ticket payments, even if you intend to buy them.

** or men, depending on taste.

*** single women interested in dating Dave only, please

September 22, 2003 · Filed Under Mariners · Comments Off on  

As a public service announcement, I’d like to remind everyone that Pat Gillick will be making a public appearance today at the downtown R.E.I. He is going to give a one hour demonstration on how to properly fold up your tent and go home.

Thank you, I’ll be here all week. The season is over, so it is time to resort to comedy. Another disappointing season in the books. Another opportunity missed. And the window slams shut…