December 30, 2003 · Filed Under Mariners · Comments Off on  

Ba-dum-bum.

Derek Zumsteg, ladies and gentleman. He’ll be here all week. Don’t forget to tip your server, and folks? Try the veal tonight. It’s excellent.

December 30, 2003 · Filed Under Mariners · Comments Off on  

Okay okay. These two Mariners are warming up before a spring training game, watching one of the older players and his kids playing catch in the outfield.

“Man, that’s sweet,” says the first player. “That makes me look forward to having a family some day.”

“It’s great,” the second player says. “I love having my kids watch me play.”

“They’re here?”

“Oh yeah,” the second player says, turning to point. “Right behind the plate, rows 13-17.”

December 30, 2003 · Filed Under Mariners · Comments Off on  

Fine, fine, I’ll return from my good-natured attempts at woman-finding-related humor to making fun of the Mariners.

McCracken’s uniform number in Arizona was six, for the number of home runs he thought he could hit that season. He wanted to set his sights high. He was going to go for a realistic but also optimistic number for 2004, but unfortunately Randy Winn has dibs on ‘2’.