Incompetent clowns
Go to the minor league baseball site’s audio page.
Go back to the May 3rd page.
Pick the “Oklahoma RedHawks @ Round Rock Express” game.
Fast forward to the 1 hour, 47 minute mark.
Listen. It’ll take a minute or two of neccessary exposition before you get to the good stuff.
Game 30, Mariners at White Sox
Happy Felix Day.
Lawton playing center field again. Good thing Felix is all ground balls, all the time.
Contreras is due for a shallacking. His ERA doesn’t come close to matching his performance so far.
Guardado removed from closer role
Everyone gets their wish – Eddie Guardado is no longer the closer for the Mariners. If the M’s encounter a save situation today, expect to see J.J. Putz on the hill.
Game 29, Mariners at White Sox
RHP Gil Meche vs RHP Freddy Garcia. Freddy faces the team he would hardly recognize! Gil Meche faces the fourth-highest-scoring team in the AL! White Sox hitters beg (beg!) Ozzie Guillen to give them a start today!
Lemme throw this out there, then: why not start Livingston? The Sox are a crazy 13-2 vs RHP so far this year and 5-6 against lefties. Meche is a hittable righty. Even if Livingston’s a hittable lefty, he’s a much better option against this team if you want to win the game.
And it’s not as if you’d be messing up a critical part of the rotation, or anything. Plus, there’s a lot of debate over whether Livingston’s minor league success can translate at the major leagues. There’s not a similar debate about whether Meche is going to be contributing to the next good Mariner team. Why not look for opportunities like this to get him some work and see how he holds up?
On the Marlins claiming Borchard
From the press release:
Seattle Mariners Executive Vice President & General Manager of Baseball Operations Bill Bavasi announced today that the Florida Marlins have claimed outfielder Joe Borchard off waivers.
The Mariners had designated Borchard for assignment on Sunday, April 23.
Borchard, 27, appeared in six games with Seattle this season, including making two starts in center field. Borchard, 27, appeared in six games with Seattle this season, including making two starts in center field.
Florida’s been running out a horrible outfield that Borchard would improve. No, really, go check it out.
Josh Willingham has the range of narcoleptic cow in left.
Reggie Abercrombie’s in center.
Chris Aguila’s in right.
You could put Huey, Dewey, and Louie the ducks out there and do as well. I wonder what those three are up to these days, anyway? Selling speakers out of a van to gullible teenagers in the suburbs? Running a gas station at some arbitrarily-established “town” along the I-5 corridor, spending their time fixing flats and glaring at the customers using the pay-at-pump feature?
His legacy will be ridding the team of Matt Thornton. In Chicago so far, his 3.18 ERA conceals a standard Thornton performance so far: a hit, a walk, and a strikeout every inning. That’s our boy. Go get ’em, tiger!
Sexson Green with envy or something
Sexson’s in a funk, if you haven’t noticed. But, like Middle-Aged Man, he’s working on it (PI). Time to see that Pentland magic (wait, no, can he fix Beltre and Sexson at once?). Also, some bad puns on Green’s name in today’s notebooks at the dailies.
On the charter flight to Chicago:
Bloomquist: I’m on fire! Guys, guys, have you seen me hit lately?
Lopez: Yes.
Bloomquist: Was the bat smoking?
Lopez: No.
Bloomquist: Because I’m on fire!
Lopez: I heard that.
Bloomquist: Guess how many hits I have.
Lopez: No.
Bloomquist: Go on, guess.
Lopez: No.
Bloomquist: Come ooooooooooooooonnn.
Lopez: You have no hits.
Bloomquist: Higher…
Lopez: One.
Bloomquist: Come on, you’re not even trying.
Lopez: No, I’m not.
Bloomquist: Nine! Nine hits.
Lopez: You’re on fire.
Bloomquist: Yes! Guess how long it took me to get nine hits last year.
Lopez: You got nine hits last year?
Bloomquist: Of course I got nine hits last year.
Lopez: Uh huh.
Bloomquist: May 29th! Can you believe it? And this year I got it on May 2nd! Wow.
Lopez: Skip, can I throw Willie out of the plane?
Hargrove: Okay, but you have to be the emergency catcher.
Lopez: It’s not worth it.
Bloomquist: You couldn’t throw me out. You’d burn your hands.
Lopez: Because you’re on fire, yes. I get it already.
Game 28, Mariners at Twins
Jarrod Washburn vs Johan Santana in a battle of southpaws who couldn’t be more different. Santana’s fastball routinely hits 95 MPH, which translates to 142 on the gun Fox Sports was using last night, and his change-up is about as unhittable as any pitch in the majors.
Washburn, on the other hand, has an 87-90 MPH fastball and… not a lot else. But he throws strikes and the Twins have a worse offense than the Tacoma Rainiers, so I’m thinking we’ll see another quality start from Washburn.
Also, WFB is not only back in the line-up, but he and his .308/.345/.308 line are hitting second while Jose Lopez takes his .514 slugging percentage to the eight hole. Even better, since Bloomquist is starting and we have no other backup middle infielders on the roster, we can’t pinch hit for him late in the game. Mike Hargrove is about as useful to the Mariners winning ballgames as a potted plant.
Tuesday Marinerosity
Today features accounts of Beltre’s joke on Hargrove(PI), which is good fun. It would have been cool if they’d actually done it, too. Still, funny (TNT).
Pineiro is the new version of good Franklin, except with better stuff.
I plug Deanna’s book club again
Deanna, of Marinerds fame, has a bookclub thing going for M’s fans. Next meet is Saturday at Elliot Bay, where they’re doing Baseball Between the Numbers and editor-dude Jonah’s going to show up and frolic about in his amusing Jonah way.
Game 27, Mariners at Twins
RHP Pineiro v RHP Baker (which ties in nicely to another article today). 5:10, KSTW on your television set. Look for Pineiro to have an extra zip on his fastball, since he worked so little last time he was out there. Of course, Johjima won’t call for it, and I’m not sure if he’ll even play — ESPN tells me that he’s got this custom of not playing day games after night games.
So what’s in the game notes today? M’s are on a streak, they’re near the top of all teams in base-stealing, it’s a short two-game series… man, these are boring game notes… someone in the press office uses “it’s” for the possessive. The M’s staff leads the AL in strikeouts, that’s cool.
The last time Willy Bloomquist was caught stealing was May 1, 2005. There’s a stat that’ll come up in today’s broadcast if Bloomquist gets into the game. Or a camera can catch him in the dugout. Or there’s a recap of any previous games. The item is titled “Sure, he looks like a nice guy, but he’s really a thief”.
Yuuuuuup.