Raul Ibanez compared to the Weighted Companion Cube

November 27, 2007 · Filed Under Mariners · 38 Comments 

I realized today I had this draft sitting around, and since there’s nothing else afoot…

  Ibanez Weighted Companion Cube
Immobile Y Y
Compensated for efforts Millions of dollars Piece of cake*
Under the right circumstances, invaluable to victory Y Y
Irrationally beloved Y Y
Clubhouse inspiration Y Y
Joins you from Kansas City Royals Vital Apparatus Vent
Loyal N Y
Available as plush toy Presumably Soon
Baked as a cake No as far as we know, no True
Good interview subject Y N
Presence Y Y

Veteran presence

Doesn’t want to be a burden N Presumably yes
Brings you good luck ? Y
Career ends when euthanized in Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator N Y

* cake is rumored to be both delicious and moist, however, so there’s that.

Ibanez may fill Tigers’ needs

October 7, 2007 · Filed Under Mariners · 79 Comments 

Muwahahahaha. From the Detroit Free Press and Jon Paul Morosi:

Could there be a better solution to the Tigers’ leftfield needs than Raul Ibanez?

Detroit president/general manager Dave Dombrowski acknowledged last week that he will look for a left-handed hitter this winter. Ibanez was among the top outfield run producers in baseball this year — and he’s left-handed.

Ibanez, 35, had 105 RBIs for the Seattle Mariners this season. That’s one less than Adam Dunn, with 68 fewer strikeouts.

It’s cool, Tigers. You can have him. We don’t even need a starter in return.

Warning: The above link contains a weird, artsty sort of black-and-white picture of Ibanez, which you can re-size and move around your browser. I don’t get it.