Raul Ibanez compared to the Weighted Companion Cube

November 27, 2007 · Filed Under Mariners · 38 Comments 

I realized today I had this draft sitting around, and since there’s nothing else afoot…

  Ibanez Weighted Companion Cube
Immobile Y Y
Compensated for efforts Millions of dollars Piece of cake*
Under the right circumstances, invaluable to victory Y Y
Irrationally beloved Y Y
Clubhouse inspiration Y Y
Joins you from Kansas City Royals Vital Apparatus Vent
Loyal N Y
Available as plush toy Presumably Soon
Baked as a cake No as far as we know, no True
Good interview subject Y N
Presence Y Y

Veteran presence

Doesn’t want to be a burden N Presumably yes
Brings you good luck ? Y
Career ends when euthanized in Aperture Science Emergency Intelligence Incinerator N Y

* cake is rumored to be both delicious and moist, however, so there’s that.

There is science to be done, there is research to be run…

October 17, 2007 · Filed Under Mariners · 34 Comments 

… on the people who are still alive*

M’s hitting since moving into Safeco Field, charted against league averages

depressing chart of Mariner hitting

Red is batting average
The other one is OBP
The top one is SLG

And on the other side, some pitching indicators.

Walk rate per nine innings (lower is better)
depressing chart of Mariner pitching

HR allowed rate per nine innings (lower is better)
depressing chart of Mariner pitching

Stirkeout rate per nine innings (higher is better)
depressing chart of Mariner pitching

* Portalllllllllllllllll!!!!

Now these points of data make a beautiful line…

October 16, 2007 · Filed Under Mariners · 39 Comments 

Mariner run scoring and prevention in full seasons since moving into Safeco Field

Chart of Mariner run scoring since they moved into Safeco Field

Runs scored in blue
Runs allowed in red

(yes, the title’s another Portal reference. No, I will not stop with the Portal references)

Cleveland v Boston

October 13, 2007 · Filed Under General baseball · 91 Comments 

I know, I’m still bummed out the M’s didn’t squeeze into the playoffs, but as an AI once told me*

but there’s no use crying over every mistake
you just keep on trying ’till you run out of cake

That’s right! We’ll get a bunch of new players together and get ’em next year! No need to be down. In the meantime, there’s a fine game to enjoy. I mean, uhhh, tonight’s playoff game! The Indians/Red Sox series may be the best of the post-season, and I’m looking forward to watching Carmona face up against post season legend Curt Schilling tonight. Go team!

* sang, more properly